Bonds
by Impervious Marr
Summary: Con artists on a 'holiday', Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy stalkers and men in clogs - while avoiding being caught, of course. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.
1. What A Wonderful World

**Bonds**_  
by Impervious Marr_

_-_

Summary: _Thieves working__ to their last __nerves, __Grimmjow__ and __Ichigo__ face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy __rivals__ and balding old men - all of that without being caught. __This is the story of their __improbable friendship__. GrimmUlqui__, AizenIchi. AU._

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: My first fanfiction. TT I'm sorry if it's crap.

-

_1_

_What a Wonderful World_

-

-

-

Grimmjow was laughing. Too hysterically, at that, because the guards outside where already shouting at him to keep it down, and he looked like he was almost choking on his own spit. Apparently he didn't hear them (didn't acknowledge, didn't _care) _and Ichigo was all too happy to let him be that way. After all, the noise would be useful.

Never let it be said that he never thought of practicality before anything else. Grimmjow took another look at his face, and laughed again.

"What the fuck, man? You got caught? Dude, this is just too hilarious to live down," Grimmjow barked out loud, ignoring the repeated banging on the door for him to shut up and just die already. Ichigo tried to scowl, but he just couldn't – it eventually broke into a grin.

Maybe his friends were right. Grimmjow really was influencing him… But he couldn't really complain much. Well, it _was_ funny.

"I guess so," Ichigo shrugged off, testing his chains and chuckling. They were old, clinking against each other with a sound close to a creaking door in a rundown shack. "So."

"Yep, so." Grimmjow gave him a lopsided grin, manic-psychotic, before sniggering at Ichigo's impassive expression. "I'm so proud, man. At least you're not in need of another anger management session anymore."

"Fuck that," Ichigo said pompously, sniffing and his nose way sky high as he tested each link for the weakest. Grimmjow laughed even more hysterically.

"That ain't the way to do it, bro! Come 'ere," he motioned, waiting for the orange-haired boy to stand beside him. Soon enough, Grimmjow was already threading their hands and arms together, letting their chains slide and grind against the rust and the metal. "Right. I shouldn't be wrong, and since these things are fucking old anyway…"

He jerked violently and _pulled, _causing the chains to break at their weakest link. Ichigo flinched at the force, stumbling back and trying to regain his footing.

"Whoah, easy there. See? All nice and non-rusty now. Man, I hate it when the rust gets to my skin."

Ichigo made a face. "You were always the vain shit among all of us." Ignoring Grimmjow's glare, he strode up to the door and examined it thoughtfully, all the while mocking Grimmjow's need for cleanliness. "I mean, 'Like oh my god. Look at my wrists. Gonna leave marks, now.' Boo hoo, Grimmy, boo hoo."

"So you have the guts to complain now, punk? After all I've done for ya?" Grimmjow asked incredulously, stretching his limbs behind the orange-haired male.

Ichigo sniggered. "Shut up. We have to be serious." He continued his examinations again, muttering thoughtfully before asking. "So, did you come from the left or the right?"

"Oh, I came alright," Grimmjow said mischievously, before shrugging. "I pissed off the daughter."

"Left it is. And remember, he said to be serious this time."

"Eh, his orders are fucking bullshit anyway," Grimmjow dismissed, remembering their so called leader. He was an insufferable man, always seen with a cane, hat and clogs. "Door breakable?"

"It's as old as your grandma – shit!" Ichigo yelped, swerving aside, only just avoiding the kick aimed for him. Or rather, the door. It flew a few feet away from the force of Grimmjow's kick, and Ichigo glared. "What was that for!?"

"You were too slow, man," the blue-haired man shouted, laughing maniacally as he jumped into the fray, beating the shit out of every guard in front of him, immediately round housing and dodging the men throwing themselves at him.

Ichigo stared, before rolling his eyes and kicking the hell out of the sissies trying to get at Grimmjow from behind. He couldn't blame them, really. Facing Grimmjow head on was like telling the whole world you had a suicide note and a will ready for all to see. He had incredible strength and a disposition willing to show it off – luckily he beat the need to kill out of the man a few years back.

But he never really got the fighting spirit out of him. The broken bones were _nasty._Beating them up into an inch of their lives was always Grimmjow's job; Ichigo's was stalking in and getting the goods out. They were pretty much an unstoppable force – sometimes too unstoppable that even authority from the old man couldn't keep them in.

Soon enough they were finished with this part of the building and were already moving upwards. They had only a few minutes before the morons actually had any idea what the shit was happening, so they had to disappear by then. Ichigo quickly got into the mode, stripping a pair of uniforms from the unconscious bodies and throwing them over his clothes – a quick disguise.

He looked at his watch nonchalantly as Grimmjow took his own sweet time in getting dressed, before knocking the doors down with a force strong enough to alert pretty much anybody in hearing vicinity – but everybody was busy upstairs with the social event going on.

They did a dirty job – too dirty, in fact, that nobody really analyzed far enough, always assuming they were a couple of punks assaulting rich men and women by destroying their property. The distraction was good enough that the victims only notice the missing goods a few weeks after the incident happened.

They were hard and loud; unlike the others in their brotherhood of sorts, who always took it slow and steady. Maybe that was why they got along with each other than everybody else. There was always Renji – but Ichigo wasn't roommates with that guy, now, was he?

"Hey, dinner duty is yours tomorrow, isn't it?" Ichigo shouted, tripping a man trying to have a go at them as he heard the telltale screams of high-class men and women in the ballrooms; the cue for them to leave and quick. Grimmjow paused for a while, ducking for a bit as a bullet went past him. He snorted. Bodyguards quickly thought they were bodyguards as soon as they could get their hands on a gun. Ichigo made quick work of the chick, sailing past Grimmy as he thought.

"Not sure, berry. "

"Check the fucking calendar then."

"We ain't got no fucking calendar. Fine, I'll treat both of us to something special, eh?"

"If it's another round of drinks in that crazy bar of yours, I'll pass."

"Whatever you want, princess," Grimmjow shouted, breaking all the windows down, then throwing a chair outside. They exited using the door – the windows would be too obvious. The guards would be looking over at the source of the broken glass instead. As the masses of people clothed in black swarmed around the action, guiding panicked socialites to evacuate, Grimmjow and Ichigo disappeared into the exodus, hidden from sight as they made their escape.

-_  
Alien invasion, alien invasion!__  
Take me to your __leader!__  
-_

_An hour later_

"The bosses making you work this late, huh?" the officer said sympathetically, swiping the I.D. card against the reader. It blinked once in approval, making a cheerful sound and he nodded his assent, smiling at the impassive looking man who observed his actions with a sharp eye.

"Yes." The dark-haired figure took the card handed to him, smoothly placing it back into his coat as he waited for his partner to pass. "The current status?"

"Not too much, they're just evacuating the area of people for the time being, so most of the evidence should be untouched," the man chattered idly, frowning at the lanky, thin man who came with him. "Your partner?" he asked skeptically, looking at the blond who scowled at every little thing that passed them.

Ulquiorra Schiffer nodded his affirmation.

"Well, alright…" The I.D. card of the blond also gave a cheerful chirp, and the officer had no choice but to let them pass. Soon enough, they were lead through the scene by another policeman, who like every other one in the vicinity, looked like he would rather be back at home, warm in his bed. Ulquiorra was no different, but he was no police trash, and he followed his orders to the point. If the orders wanted him to investigate, then he would investigate.

The identity he wore was that of a young police officer – the perfect picture of a controlled authority figure; calm, composed and stern. He didn't grimace or show any indication that he was disgusted by the security protocols, merely smiled when needed to as they were led through the floors and finally at the room where the assaulters have apparently escaped.

At the moment, his name and looks were nondescript.

"It's all that's left, Ryo-san. I'll leave you to your own devices – have a good day," the officer said politely, before turning to leave the room. As soon as he was out of hearing range, his partner – the blond, Matsuda – gave a long, suffering groan of dissatisfaction.

Unlike Ulquiorra, Matsuda was a fresh piece of meat – a thug, through and through, rough around the edges and carrying suspicion wherever he went. He never quite understood why his leader insisted on posting greenhorns to be his partners – but if he wanted to admit it, he rather liked beating sense into trash like Matsuda.

The uniform of police trash was itchy against his skin, but he refrained from fiddling with it too much. Such wasn't the case for his undisciplined companion.

"These things are itchy, boss…" the blond whined, scratching at his neck and wrists. As expected, the reserved Ulquiorra didn't answer, his dark hair stark against his pale skin as he surveyed and analyzed the damage done to the victim's abode.

The things strewn everywhere and the broken down doors confounded him. His green eyes ran over the debris, some wood on the floor, the carpet stained with blood – presumably from the guards. He assumed the ones who did this worked in a pair or a group with three people, with outside help, and definitely not pushovers. It was a fast, heavy duty type of work to break apart a powerful man's home and avoid capture at the same time.

The victim was a politician – who was hosting a ball, of sorts, in his home; a large party if you're counting the number of people attending it. The sudden attack on his home was expected, he supposed, but he was surprised on the way they did it. Ulquiorra figured that the assaulters were aware of the timing; the event gave them an opportunity to sneak in unnoticed, and the target was absolutely perfect to pick on – but he still wasn't sure why they'd want to leave with such a bang.

A warning? Some sort of threat?

Then again, because of the way the house was torn apart – from the basement to the top – he was sure that the real purpose wasn't _really _meant to threaten the politician. Implications of foul play were removed, because everyone was found alive, scared but definitely well and healthy.

His eyebrows furrowed. A job? If so, then this must be the most bizarre style of thieving he'd ever seen.

His companion wasn't so aware, and was quick to jump to conclusions. "These guys are amateurs, boss?" he asked curiously, looking around but not really seeing. "The damage's kinda random and all, like they were throwing shit around rather than thinking about it."

"No," Ulquiorra replied impassively, countering the man's assumptions. "This wasn't meant to be an assault. The way they broke down the doors… It was making a loud and quick _escape, _never really breaking in to tear the house apart. That's why the damage is random and inconsistent… They knew what they were doing."

Matsuda gawked. "No way!"

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes discreetly, mouthing 'trash' as he did so. He refused to elaborate again, but the blond kept chattering.

"So, like, you figure it's organized?"

At that, the man paused, looking at his companion and fixing him with a stare with his glassy green eyes. The world seemed to stand still at that; time stopping. Matsuda shivered in fear – Ulquiorra was infamous for climbing up the ranks faster than any other criminal in their organization, and for a split second, he could see the eyes of a cold-blooded murderer. After a minute or two, the gaze slid away as the man strode towards the exit, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had a report to do, so it was time to head back.

"Perhaps," was all he said, as his companion struggled to catch up.

-_  
Trash, garbage, waste, rubbish… Trash.__  
-_

_Tomorrow_

"So tell me something," Ichigo groaned out, before cursing loudly as he stubbed his toe on the low coffee table, and that didn't really help when he was aching all over and rushing, rushing, rushing. "Why did we decide to do a job on a class night?"

"Because we're fucking morons?" Grimmjow answered, brushing his pearly whites languidly as his roommate stumbled across the room. He never really got why Ichigo was so prissy bout being late. Said orange-head grumbled as he struggled to stuff a few books haphazardly into his messenger bag, and Grimmjow amusedly noted that he was stuffing X-rated things instead of his texts.

Well, all in good fun, really. He'll see what it'll do later.

"Yes, it is because we are fucking morons. We're going to be late, _goddamn,_ and Grimmy get a _move_ on it!" Ichigo shouted, grabbing files from the table with one swipe (he's a pro at it, now, he usually missed a few books and they crashed to the floor, hot damn) and exited with a firm shut for his door.

Grimmjow took his own sweet time, giving Ichigo five minutes to realize the porn.

He was wrong; it was two and a half.

Ichigo slammed the door open, red-faced as he threw the books towards Grimmjow's face. As the multiple sights of exposed cleavage ran down his face, he laughed uncontrollably, letting himself be dragged out of the apartment by a raging berry-head.

Soon enough Grimmjow was kicking up the clutch, letting the car get into top gear as Ichigo screamed at him to go _faster, faster! _If he didn't know any better, he would've thought that they were doing a live-action show right now. They skidded against the asphalt; tire marks burning to the pavement as Grimmjow skillfully drifted the car into their parking space.

"Ahh!"

"Whoah fuck!"

"You crazy shithead! Watch where you're going!"

Grimmjow grinned at all of them, opening the door and immediately flipping the birdie. Ichigo, on the other hand, wasted no time in getting out of the car, adjusting and readjusting his shirt while he paced into the college building; he was already used to Grimmjow's violent driving style.

-

"Fuck that stupid lecturer!" Abarai Renji shouted out loud, startling the other people who were in the area. Everybody quickly shifted their seats away from the red-head, excluding the ones who were already around Renji's table.

"Man, why would I wanna do that?" Keigo asked disgustedly, poking on his lunch and watching as the liquid oozed slowly into his sandwich. It wasn't any surprise that everyone thought the cafeteria was a laboratory – even the head chef was a freak show. Mayuri Kurotsuchi was a man even Grimmjow wouldn't trust his food with.

"Ha ha, Keigo."

"I formally request an order for all of you to shut the fuck up," Rukia said monotonously, before her head hit the table. Soon enough she started sleep talking. Ichigo was busy having his usual three shots of espresso – the ones he didn't have that morning, and beside him Grimmjow was nonchalantly snoring without a care in the world.

"Rough night?" Orihime asked sympathetically, unwrapping her bento as she did so. Ichigo held up a hand, and drank his second shot with enthusiasm, before shrugging.

"Pretty much. We were having the time of our lives… And we kinda forgot it was a class night."

"Hmph. At least some of us were doing the world some good as the rest went partying," a dark-haired, bespectacled male said disapprovingly, crossing his arms. Ichigo glared, but was unwilling to argue.

"What do you mean, Uryuu-san?"

"There was an assault done to the Kuroyagi mansion yesterday." Ishida pushed up his spectacles, frowning pensively. "I wasn't too sure about the details, but we were sent to investigate and clean up the wreckage," he explained, motioning towards him and Rukia.

Everyone who wasn't in the know was surprised. "I saw that in the newspapers," Tatsuki, Orihime's best friend, commented idly, furrowing her eyebrows. "I say he got it coming, though. All that corruption."

"Still, an assault?" Orihime looked worried, wringing her hands in thought. "Was anyone killed?"

"Funnily enough, no," Ishida replied. "It was just a simple attack – extensive, but simple. The perpetrators were thorough when they tore the house apart on the ground floor. Probably a warning or something, and at the right time too – and when Kuroyagi was having an event at the time, too…"

"Sounds like you're having a hard time," Ichigo said, rubbing his temples to get his mind into gear. "Got any suspects?"

"Well, we have a few leads. Apparently there were two suspicious men who caused a ruckus in the party, and were forced to leave."

"Did you find them?"

"We questioned the daughter, who deported them. She said she couldn't remember, because they were too unimportant for her to care. The typical behavior," Ishida elaborated, frustrated as he rubbed his forehead. "I hate working on cases concerning the high society."

"More like high anxiety," Grimmjow said sleepily, his body movements sluggish as he woke up. He stretched his limbs from side to side, swiping a cup from Ichigo to down a shot of espresso himself. "Aren't you _supposed _to question the bodyguards?"

Ishida glared at Grimmjow, and Grimmjow grinned back at him. Both of them genuinely didn't like each other, and it was a strained relationship that everybody knew about.

"It happened _yesterday_," Ishida replied coldly, before continuing, "And most of them were unconscious and badly beaten up, so we won't get any answers from them for the time being."

"Sucks to be you, then," Grimmjow countered, still grinning his insufferable grin that made Ishida want to punch him. "Well, that's that. Not too hard t –" He paused, feeling his phone vibrate. Grimmjow slid his phone out of his pocket, looking at the new message.

_Five minutes _was all it said.

He glanced at Ichigo's watch. "Come on berry-head. Nature's callin'."

"Oh, shut up," Ichigo said exasperatedly, before starting to move anyway. "Say bye to Rukia for me. Wouldn't wanna wake her up and all."

"Will do," the others chorused, watching them both disappear from the cafeteria.

-

"Isn't it ironic they're giving us the information we need?" Ichigo asked idly, chewing on the end of his pen as he thought of what to write. Nobody knew about it, not really, except Grimmjow – Ichigo was a mini-poet. It was something that Grimmjow laughed about when he first found out, but came to respect as the years went by.

"It's a cruel world, my friend," Grimmjow replied, showing his canines at his companion.

"Stop grinning. It's really getting creepy."

"You say that every time, but you know it's sexy."

Ichigo made a face as Grimmjow laughed. "I don't need this," he mumbled, looking at the sky – they were on the rooftop, a strange meeting spot but who was he to complain? _They _paid him for the jobs, and _they_ gave him a place to stay, so it didn't really hurt to go along with their whims.

The sound of clogs hitting against the concrete floor gave them a hit of who was approaching.

"The Troublemakers, well well! How are my two children today?"

Both of them dragged their eyes up to meet with their eccentric leader – Urahara Kisuke; a brilliant man, but seemingly lacking in common and fashion sense. He did make it up with his brilliance in organizing one of the strangest thieving brotherhoods of all time.

"Hey, Hat and Clogs," Ichigo greeted, waving his acknowledgement, waiting for the man to stop in front of both of them, cane in front.

"What a show last night was! I knew you'd make quick work of Kuroyagi," Urahara complimented, sitting down beside both of them and leaning against the fence.

"It wasn't too hard. I guess Pinky really was useful turning off those security cams," the blue-haired man said in a rare show of appreciation before it slid back to his usual grinning façade. "So what's up? We don't usually meet this early after a job."

Urahara conceded before frowning. "Unfortunately, boy, you're right."

Oh. That was not good.

"What's up?" Grimmjow asked, with a rare frown on his face. Even Ichigo paused in twiddling with his pen.

"We're in a danger zone. I'm not about to get into any more skirmishes with the _Arrancar_ but apparently they're investigating the fireworks show you two did yesterday."

"Shit," slipped out of Ichigo's mouth before he could stop it, though he had no idea why he would. This was a situation they didn't want to be in. _Arrancar_ was their rival organization, but a lot more ruthless. While Ichigo and the rest made due with stealing things and mostly keeping their nose out of politics, Arrancar had connections all over the place. They should be the fucking yakuza – and they are. Pompous bastards. "We have to lay off, then?"

"Dude, we laid off the last time! What is up with these morons tryin' to pick up shit with us!?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Your style is, for the most part, while distracting – completely bizarre. I'm sure they're entranced with you two. I've always told you Ichigo, it may be that fruity shampoo of yours. '_Oh, the intense secrecy of this lovely scented mystery man-who-uses-strawberry-shampoo. I __**must**__ absolutely find out who this is. Woe is me.'"_

Urahara ducked the punch aimed for his head, laughing.

Ichigo, on the other hand, groaned loudly. Whatever happened to creativity? And fuck his fruity shampoo. So he liked strawberries, like his namesake. Fuck the world if they thought it was funny.

"At least lay down for a while longer than you usually would. Even if the police heat dies down, there're still those bastards to watch out for." Urahara gave a remarkable grin. "Apparently Kuroyagi was a target they've been after for a while too."

Grimmjow popped open a Coke. "Wonderful. Now why would Arrancar have anything against him?"

"Remember, Kuroyagi's been acting all cocky ever since he got the 'yakuza' to back him up. It's all amusing really, so I'm guessing they wanted to teach him a lesson. But you two tore the place down first, so now they're looking for the duo with the guts enough to kick down an _Arrancar_territory."

"Not saying that I don't have the guts, but admittedly we didn't even know it was Arrancar, so…" Ichigo trailed, scratching his ear. Urahara rolled his eyes.

"Well they think that we know, so fuck that. Well, have a nice day you two. I'm guessing it'll take two weeks for the heat from the police to die down – Kuroyagi's a politician – and be wary for the next extra days," Urahara advised, before grinning and getting up. "Well, that's my job for the moment! I'll see you two later."

As Urahara hobbled away, Grimmjow spit to the side, grimacing.

"What a wonderful world."

-_  
I see trees of green__  
Red roses too  
__I see them bloom__  
For__ me and you  
_-

-

-

A/N: Effin' crap, I swear. I don't know where this is going, but if you have any ideas, then it's cool. Give it up. :D This thing is really giving me a headache…

And it's my first fanfiction, too! Gasp, shock, horror.

Ishida has to be the policeman. And what will Grimmy and Ichi do if their cover is blown?!

Lol, the pairings. I'm sorry if you're looking for GrimmIchi. I mean, it's going to be _mentioned _but it's just not happening, because it's past. –crushes all hopes- But I'm not too sorry that my OTPs are GrimmUlqui and AizenIchi. xD

But then again, this is a story about their _friendship_.

I will love you if you review. Please, no flames.


	2. First Encounter

**Bonds**  
by Impervious Marr

-

Summary: Thieves working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: Yay, second chapter:D Thanks for the reviews and favs! x3 And the alert people, too. I'm still new to this. Right, about the updates: I have one week's worth of holidays coming up, so I'll try to finish up as many chapters as I could because the week after that I'll be extremely busy. I'll try to update at least once a week. If not, well, that sucks.

I do accept anonymous reviews. I forgot to enable the option when I first posted this, so…

Review Response:

Bittersweet: Well, er, I'm guessing since they're in college/university/whatever, and in their 20s and stuff… I guess it warrants Ishida in finding a part-time job. So he's a policeman because he likes to be all 'righteous' and stuff, so to speak. I think. I don't know, I like Ishida being a policeman o.o Thanks for the review!

My full appreciation also goes to the rest for encouraging me to continue. And the favs. Eee. :3 Enjoy the chapter… Hopefully. Crack abound.

And I do not owns YouTube. :3 And Bleech. :3

-

Today was like one of those days when he felt like bashing his fist into someone's head for no apparent reason. Or maybe for the fun of it. He's been doing this for the past few months ever since he moved into this sorry little town, who was he to stop now? That wasn't Grimmjow's style, no way.

Unfortunately, every single alleyway was deserted of people, and he wondered distantly if they decided to avoid the blue-haired man during these kind of nights. Well, his main objective wasn't really to scare away every little piece of trash around the area, but as it was...

Heck, this inflated his over-sized ego to greater heights.

The sound of punches being thrown caught his attention. At this, Grimmjow's grin went wider; the only thing he liked better than getting into fights and sex was interrupting them - and interrupting is what he'll be doing.

But for now, maybe he'll just skulk in the shadows to get a grip on the situation. And chew on his chewing gum. This was really good gum.

From this distance, he could see about a dozen or so fucktards, fighting against - Grimmjow's eyebrow cocked in amusement. Who was stupid enough to get into enough trouble that required a whole gang to beat the shit out of him? His lips twitched, half in amusement and half because he was impressed. The only other person who could do that was himself, and that was saying something.

It really didn't look like a fair fight, though. Having enough of waiting, he stepped out into a lighted part of the narrow street, lights making his blue hair gleam.

"Oi, fucktards!"

"Huh?"

All of them turned around, but the biggest and ugliest fucker of all - the leader, he supposed - breathed in noisily. As he spoke, spit flew everywhere, and Grimmjow had to dodge one particularly large drop.

Not to be a girl and all, but that's just ew, man.

"What'dya call me, punk?" He scrutinized the blue-haired boy in front of him a little bit more, before smirking. "Yer just a lil' one! Whatcha gonna do, huh?"

"Boss!" one of his lackeys spoke up. "I recognize that kinda blue hair - it's that bitch everyone's been tryin' ta squash!"

"Ohrelly?"

_Oh dear god. I'm sure nobody would care if I stomp his face into the next century._

"Well that just makes everything easier!" The lunk of a man looked as if it was his lucky day, and took Grimmjow's expression as a sign of fear. The man must be blind, at that. He took a piece of wood threateningly, pointing it at Grimmjow. "I think I rememba yer name, punk. Let's see who's ththronger, Greemjowe Jagarjagan!"

Grimmjow almost choked on his gum, spitting it out a split second later.

_What the __**fuck!?**_

The silence that engulfed the place was deafening.

Even the lackeys were struggling not to laugh, and wondered what they should be laughing at at the moment - the mispronunciation of 'stronger' or Grimmjow's butchered name. In fact, there was a sudden burst of laughter in the background, but Grimmjow didn't care about that.

"What the fucking_ shit_ did you just call me, you fucking dickweed!?"

Grimmjow wasted no time to fulfill his previous promise. He went sailing, knocking the large man down with one foot attached to the man's face, making sure he got a taste of what it felt like to be in fucking pain. "Goddamn, you fucking retard! It's Grimmjow Jeagerjacques,_Jeagerjacques_, what the fucking _shit_is _Jagarjagan_!?"

"Boss!" The other men screamed like little girlies, watching as their leader was taken down by a kid half his size.

"Shit, boss!"

"Get it fuckin' right before you say it out loud! I was thinkin' of letting you walk off with your life," he whispered with a maniacal tone, before shouting, "But forget it! _Eat my heels_, you son of a -"

"Boss! Hang in there!" The men started to charge to save the guy's life. Grimmjow was about to turn and hit the first guy who went flying to him, but blinked when an orange-haired dude flew past him, landing a well timed punch to the gangster's face.

Well, shit. Looks like said 'victim' wasn't really a pushover as he thought he was. But it must be shitty to be moving in that condition - Grimmjow spotted a bruise or two before it disappeared under the kid's dirtied shirt.

The boy spat to the side, pausing before grinning at him, Grimmjow - and the blue-haired male understood.

Time to bring the house down.

_-_

_2_

_First Encounter_

_-_

_-_

Ichigo tapped his pen against the edge of his desk, legs pulled up to the spin-able chair he was sitting on. The assignment was really killing his brain, but he didn't really want to do much other than relax. His exams were far away, there wasn't really anything pressing to do at the moment, his next class was next week and Hat and Clogs gave the order to lay low.

_Fuck I'm bored._

He never really took well to boredom. That's why he finished his homework early, that's why he did bulk of the chores, that's why he was always tapping his pen, if to just fill the silence with something because noise was better to think about.

But as it was, there was nothing he could debate about on his paper - out of ideas, out of ideas, need some ideas - so he was bored.

_Bored, bored, bored._

At least Grimmjow was taking a nap. Wait... What the fuck was he doing taking a nap at a time like this? Ichigo pushed his chair closer to the couch, and reached a foot out to nudge the blue-haired man awake.

"Oi, Grimmjow."

"... Fucking shit... You call me... 'Weed..."

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow, amused. Sleep-talking Grimmjow was always amusing.

"Oi, Grimmjow. Wake up, goddamn it, I'm bored," Ichigo said in monotone.

Grimmjow snarled, turning his body to the other side. Then he spoke again. "... Walk off... Son of a -"

"Grimmjow!" Ichigo shouted, kicking the man and Grimmjow yelped, jumping off from the couch and crashing to the floor.

When he got back up, Ichigo was laughing like a fucktard. Grimmjow was still too sleepy to make a big deal out of it, so he just grumbled and crawled back into the couch, sighing.

"What were you dreaming about?" Ichigo asked, after the laughter subsided. Grimmjow waved a nonchalant hand, shrugging.

"Eh, just the time we first met."

"Oh, man, that was hilarious. 'Greemjowe Jagarjagan'," Ichigo repeated, then laughed as Grimmjow snarled like a wounded kitty. "Just joking, man. But for a second there I seriously thought you were picking up a chick named Weed or something."

"It's Dickweed, not Weed, moron," Grimmjow corrected, and then rubbed his eyes. "What'dyou want, anyway?"

"I was bored."

"Figured as much." If it was a year ago, Grimmjow would've kicked Ichigo in the balls for waking him up just because he was fucking bored. Still would, actually, if he wasn't so sleepy. The funny thing about Grimmjow was that he didn't take well to losing sleep. "So, what do you need, huh?"

"Dunno. It's your dinner duty tonight."

"Fuck, so it is." Grimmjow grinned, getting back into the right tempo. "What're you craving for, oh great Strawberry?"

Deciding not to comment on his nickname for once, Ichigo pondered. "Well. You on duty means..." Ichigo's eyes snapped wide open, and he brandished his pen threateningly towards Grimmjow. The blue-haired man had an expression synonymous with 'WTFLOL?', but Ichigo didn't care. "No creativity."

Grimmjow blinked, and then grinned slyly. Oh.

"But you complained about the lack of 'creative' just yesterday night," Grimmjow cackled, putting his hands at the back of his head as he rested.

"Fuck that. You being creative _always_ ends up with me having to puke out the next _bio-weapon_."

"Aw, berry-head -"

"No buts, goddamn. I still want to keep my digestive system intact." Ichigo stood up and went to their kitchen, while Grimmjow let out a manical laugh. He made himself busy for the next few minutes, and a comfortable silence passed over them, before Ichigo went back to the living room.

He sat down on his chair, and Grimmjow sensed something was wrong when Ichigo stared at him calmly.

_Fuck. He couldn't have._

"Grimmjow Jeagerjacques," Ichigo started calmly, and immediately Grimmjow knew that it wasn't good. Ichigo was never calm. In a sense. That kind of calm, anyway, unless... "There are _some_ things in this world you just _can't_ touch."

The emphasis made Grimmjow nearly wince, so he tried for nonchalance. "What're you talkin' 'bout, berry-head?"

It died in the face of the _Ichigo Stare_™.

The orange-head grinned disarmingly (_shitshitshit_) and pointed rather cheerfully to the kitchen. "My chocolates."

_Shitshitshitshit_-

"Yeah, what about them?"

"I told you, Grimmjow." Ichigo's smile twitched once as he tilted his head. "You can't touch them, or look through them, or even breathe them, _goddamn,_ and what do I find? The whole stash is just g_one_." Grimmjow immediately went on the defensive.

"I did _not_ look through your chocolates -"

Ichigo's grin twitched again.

" - shit. Okay, you got me. But you know your chocolates are just too_good,_ Ichigo -"

He cracked his knuckles.

" - err, we can make a compromise, Ichigo. Don't need to get hasty -"

Ichigo didn't stop there. He stretched his limbs and muscles while Grimmjow inched away noticeably. He knew that Ichigo was fully capable of dishing out heavy duty pain, and said pain just triples when Ichigo was mad about chocolates.

So Grimmjow took the easy way out, cowering in the face of what he couldn't face off. For now.

" –You know what? I think I'll pick some from the store _right_now. Yeah, I'll do that," Grimmjow said distractingly, and not waiting for a response, he stood up and started grabbing his jacket, wallet and keys. "And I'll buy the groceries too. You just sit tight, do your assignment, and I'll cook something, er, non-creative today. Like pasta." Grimmjow grabbed his shoes, too, and ran for his life. "Bye, sweetheart!"

Ichigo grinned, giving himself a mental pat on the back for getting better at scaring Grimmjow shitless.

Oh wait, shit.

Now he had to find some other entertainment.

-

Grimmjow resisted the urge to pout. Really, he was chased out of his own apartment (admittedly, it was his fault for not resisting the chocolates. But they were just too good and Ichigo never really ate them anyway) and he was now driving through the streets of Karakura City, dodging passer-bys and old people who didn't bother to watch if there was an incoming car or not.

He dreaded the day when he'd be old and balding. Maybe he'll get into a fist-fight he can't win before he hit 40 - that was a nice thought, but quickly squashed it down. His ego wouldn't let him take a fight dying.

He drove his car smoothly into the parking lot of the hypermarket, ignoring the longing glances situated on his car and the interested glances sent his way in favor of focusing on his task ahead. Ichigo would kill him if he didn't get it right. Of course he'd have to stop by the candy shop later to get some of the harder stuff, but for now, this place was alright.

He already had something in mind for tonight. And shit, that just sounded wrong.

While he strode into the place and picked up a basket, his fight-sensitive ears from years of experience picked up the sound of punches being thrown. _A fight in a freakin' hypermarket? No way! _Getting his camera-phone on standby, he took a few steps to the left, finally encountering a black-haired chick with green eyes beating up a sleazy-looking dude.

He recorded the whole thing, and when the dark-haired individual noticed him, Grimmjow noticed that it wasn't a chick. It was a dude.

_Well, fuck._

He grinned at the confrontation that was soon to come.

-

_Goldfish, goldfishums, and goldfishies._

-

_The Kisuke Hypermarket_

Ulquiorra paced inside this place called a 'hypermarket'. At least the area was clean up to his standards, so he didn't want to complain much, but it still didn't dismiss the fact that it was run by people like trash. The staff has been oogling at him since he got here, and he didn't like the fact that he was unnerved by it. Ulquiorra Schiffer did _not_ get unnerved by some creepy stares from people-trash.

Then again, he never really liked stepping out in public. It was kind of sad, really, that the only people that Aizen-sama trusted to buy him food were far and few in between. It didn't help that Ulquiorra was one of those people, and the others were... Occupied.

And it really, really didn't help that Aizen-sama had a strange sense of humor - he insisted that Ulquiorra have a taste of what it felt like to be in the outside world. Well, fuck him.

Well, not really. He was _obedient_, not obsessed and definitely not in love with the man. They got along well, and it was strictly a workplace type of relationship between the boss and his subordinate, and that was just fine with him.

But still.

The next person to ogle at him got a full blast of the Ulquiorra Glare. The girl 'eep'ed noticeably and shrunk away, blushing.

Ugh.

Ulquiorra quickly started perusing through his head for the shopping list, just a few unimportant things that Aizen-sama requested. He was sure most of them were Gin's idea. Damn the fox-faced creep. Who in their right mind wanted leek _out of the blue_?

-

_Sometime earlier_

He was to report to Aizen-sama's office. He surmised it had something to do about the Kuroyagi assault; so he was already prepared for such a thing to happen. When he arrived, though, the thought was completely thrown out of his mind.

"Ulquiorra," Aizen-sama started solemnly, and Ulquiorra couldn't help but to sense a burst of giddiness. He was happy to serve, he was happy to serve... "...I want you to buy some leek."

The giddiness abruptly died.

Ulquiorra stared at Aizen-sama as if he couldn't comprehend the order. Or the man recently grew two heads. When his mind got back into gear, he stared some more.

For one thing, he knew that Aizen-sama didn't consume the stuff. So what the _fuck_ was this!?

Aizen-sama seemed to sense his current blank situation, and quirked a smirk. "Ulquiorra?"

"...Yes, Aizen-sama." His voice sounded even more mechanical if that was possible, and he cleared his throat. "I will... Order it right now."

"No, no, I want you to buy it from the local hypermarket."

If the leek thing didn't blow his mind, this one definitely did.

"There's a couple of things I want you to pick up as well. Gin, give him the list. "

As he exited with a blanker than blank stare, he could faintly make out the laughter of one sadistic megalomaniac and a conniving two-faced bitch with silver-hair, in the background. Agh.

-

_Present Time_

As Ulquiorra had a mental flashback, a man's voice brought him up short.

"You look a lil' lost there, baby-face."

Ulquiorra froze.

He turned around very, very slowly, face impassive but his knuckles twitched. He let out two breaths erratically - a sign that he was shocked, in a bad way, and _what the fucking shit did that piece of trash just call me!?_

"You're a pretty little lady, babe. C'mon, tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help, yeah?" The man smiled like a pervert, and Ulquiorra felt his control snap.

Was the man _fucking blind_, or was it just him? He was almost as tall as _any other _normal tall guys, and he _didn't_have boobs, _goddamn it,_ and he wore _guy_clothing!

Now, Ulquiorra wasn't the type of man to be extreme in his actions. But coupled with the previous events and the staring and the _goddamn baby-face shit _he had to go through, it wasn't really any wonder that at the next second, the man was cleanly thrown to the other side of the aisle, landing painfully against the counter, with bruises all over his face and a painful kick to his balls.

All the others stared, before moving to their own business when Ulquiorra glared threateningly. He needed to shoot down the cameras in the hypermarket, too. If Aizen-sama had a footage of that, he'll never live it down.

"Whoah, shit! This is so going on YouTube!"

Ulquiorra turned once at the profanity, and stared.

Wow, his day just got better and better.

A blue-haired man was not too far away,in a blatant display of recording the whole scene using his camera-phone. Ulquiorra stared a bit more - he did a lot of staring today, didn't he? - and his mind kicked into gear.

"You, there." Ulquiorra frowned when the man only grinned, cocking an eyebrow.

As he stepped up to the man, stuffing his hands into his pockets, he noticed that the guy had a slim, muscled build, and maybe only a bit taller than him - their heights matched somewhat. Strange blue hair with blue eyes and a pretty sadistic grin. He gauged the man's ability, somewhat wary.

"Delete that footage."

The grin never left the guy's face - in fact, it only seemed to grow wider. Ulquiorra twitched in annoyance.

"What if I don't want to, huh, pretty boy?"

Ulquiorra twitched again. He wouldn't admit it, but he wasn't about to throw this guy off to the next aisle too, because he wasn't some sleazy looking guy who looked at him perversely.

Long story short, okay, this guy was attractive, but he was quickly becoming the number one annoyance in his soon-to-die list.

"Delete that," he repeated forcefully, and was unnerved when the guy just shrugged nonchalantly, sticking a tongue out.

"I said no."

Ulquiorra didn't growl - instead, he went straight for the kill, aiming a punch at the guy. He'd get that phone and break it into half, damn it. What came next shocked him to the core.

The guy _caught _his hand.

He whistled, looking impressed. "Nice one, I don't meet many people who can do that kind of thing. But sorry man, I'm keepin' that video." Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes, lips thinning. "Yo, dude, relax. Whoah!"

The man dodged his next kick and punch, swerving to the side. Ulquiorra saw a flash of a leg heading straight at him and he blocked it. They exchanged multiple blows, and Ulquiorra felt a sense of _something_under the deep pits of his stomach.

_That's strange..._

Of course, he had to end the fight eventually. Ulquiorra slammed his whole body into the guy in a full-body blow, knocking both of them down as Ulquiorra scrambled a feel on the guy's pockets. He took the phone, and right in front of the man's eyes, he broke it into two pieces with a swift move of his hands.

"What the _**fuck**_, man!?"

Ulquiorra growled, getting off the man and striding away without looking back, leaving the man bruised, dazed, and now without a phone.

The man caused a scene, though. Aizen-sama would definitely catch wind of this, and he will seriously not be able to live it down.

Ugh. Fine. _Whatever._

"Trash," Ulquiorra murmured spitefully, continuing his original mission - grocery shopping for Aizen-sama. Then he was getting out of this place. He was going to take a bath, and then he would ask Aizen-sama to do his own goddamn shopping next time, regardless of threats and what not.

And then he was going to hunt the stupid guy with the stupid blue eyes and the stupid blue hair down.

Then kill him slowly.

-

Grimmjow picked up his phone, rolling his eyes. Honestly, the guy didn't have to get all prissy about having his face posted everywhere on YouTube. He was just kidding anyway - he didn't need to go all out in destroying his fucking phone.

Oh well. He was due for a new one, anyway. Grumbling, he extracted the memory and the SIM card from the wreckage, and decided that maybe he will fucking post that video on YouTube just for revenge.

Stupid guy.

And he even had the nerve to call him _trash_!

Grimmjow didn't know why he was moody about the whole thing, but it frustrated him to no end. Maybe it was those stupid green eyes. They were just... Too... He didn't know what, but they were _way_too green.

When he got back to the apartment, groceries and chocolates in tow, Ichigo was amused at his grumpiness, but didn't comment on it because he was busy with his assignment. Seems the guy just got inspiration. The questions came up when he was chopping up the beef for the promised pasta, and Ichigo already stopped scribbling furiously, watching him cook.

"So what happened, chocolate bit you in the ass or something?"

There were a couple of poisonous mushrooms he stored on the top cupboard for his 'creativity' time. Grimmjow wondered if he'd be charged for murder if he 'accidentally' slipped an overdose into the pasta. Just to shut Ichigo up.

But nah.

"Shut up," Grimmjow gruffly replied, dumping everything into a bowl, starting on seasoning the tomato sauce next. Then he turned to his long time buddy, and threw him the two pieces of his talking device. Ichigo caught it with ease, blinking.

"Let's just say I need a new phone."

-

A/N: Bahahaha! Grimm and Ichi's first meeting! And Grimm and Ulqui's first meeting! Yes, my plan is coming together slowly... -insert evil laugh here-

But seriously, though. xD I'm worried if I didn't hit Ulquiorra's character right. And I think I fucked up a bit of Grimmjow during their fight... But you know. I guess it all can't be perfect. Yes, Ichigo does love chocolates. He also like karashi mentaiko, but chocolate is easier to find. x3

Have a nice day everyone!


	3. Lunch Date

**Bonds**  
by Impervious Marr

-

Summary: Thieves working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: As was working on the third chapter, writer's block stood in my way. Just wonderful. So if this is crap, I don't blame you xD; I had no ideas... How to make Aizen and Ichigo meet omfgbbq?! Lol...

And I'm hearing the news in the background about my country's elections (Malaysia). It's crazy; the previous ruling coalition lost badly. I mean, they won the general election, but they failed to get the needed 2/3 seats out of the Parliament to be able to change the constituition at will.

But enough of my rambling. :3 I'm not even supposed to be talking about politics, lol!

Review Response:

From the Psyche Ward: XD Thank you! I fully accept all blame without hesitation. :3

judikickshiney: Bahahaha, you're right. He does that all the time, doesn't he? And I have to make him stuff his hands into his pockets even more.

Again, my full appreciation goes to the ones who take their time to review my story. It makes me happy. Also the favs:D

I do not owns Bleech. :D

Note: The flashback things were a few years ago before the current timeline, like maybe 4-5 years ago, when they were still teenies. x3 Enjoy the chapter! Grimmjow is obsessed! Aizen makes his appearance! Gin proves himself to be the manipulator! And Ichigo blushes, wtf!?

-

When the old man with the hat and clogs get-up suddenly went up to offer him something he couldn't refuse, he thought the man was kidding. Maybe it had something to do with the way he dressed, but now he knew that appearances really can be decieving.

He met Urahara Kisuke while he was outside the hypermarket he owned in Karakura City, playing with the little children with that cane he always carried around. Of course he never talked to the man before, but he was surprised when the man introduced himself.

Who wouldn't? The name Kisuke was famous around Japan; the owner having a large influence over the economy with its advancements in technology and the business in wholesaling and retailing, but strangely kept his nose out of politics - or at least was good in hiding it if he did. The identity of the man was a secret, and nobody really got a glimpse of the man in action.

Looking at the way the eccentric man's power, he guessed there was a good reason why he kept his unassuming appearance.

But if there was one thing he knew about Urahara Kisuke that he was definitely sure of - the man was a puppetmaster.

He really didn't expect the man to tell him that he was heading an organization meant to steal stuff from other people. Ichigo was bewildered when he first heard of it - but why not? Maybe the experience would do him some good instead of getting into fights with gangsters all the time. His father said he needed a 'hobby', anyway.

So he said, "Yes." Then after a few moments of Urahara grinning smugly over some unknown reason, he asked, "So what do I do now?"

The old man face-palmed.

Somehow, after a blur of events he didn't keep track of, he suddenly found himself under the Kisuke Hypermarket, already waiting to be introduced to the rest of the group. He distantly remember them testing him... And he supposed he passed, but everything was such a blur.

He remembered Urahara giving him a drink before, though. Maybe it was some sort of memory eraser. He really wouldn't be surprised if that sort of thing existed; Urahara was a man of incalculable brilliance.

And a sad, sad fashion sense.

"Well Ichigo-kun! I'm so happy you passed the test! Naturally, since you're new and all, we'll have to assign you a partner. But not to worry!" the man said cheerfully, suddenly pushing him into a room after they turned a corner. Ichigo dusted himself, looking up and blinking.

The first one his eyes zoomed on to was a very familliar blue-haired boy, who also noticed his appearance and grinned. He hadn't seen that face for a few weeks now.

Both of them pointed at each other at the same time.

"The orange-head!"

"The Jagarjagan dude!"

The blue-haired boy immediately scowled, growling. "It's Grimmjow _Jeagerjacques_," he snapped, before mumbling, "I swear I'm gonna kill that guy who mauled my name the next time I see him."

"Oh, you two know each other?" Urahara asked joyfully, looking from side to side.

Grimmjow and Ichigo cleared their throats.

"It was a... Passing acquaintance."

"Sort of."

"Oh really? Well, it's good to have some familliarity between you two!" At Grimmjow's questioning look, Urahara smirked. "From now on, both of you are partners!"

_-_

_3_

_Lunch Date_

_-_

_-_

_That one's beautiful - but I'm not a freaking girl._

_Fuck, too bulky._

_Definitely too square for me._

_What the __**shit**__ is that!?_

Grimmjow looked through the catalouge, perusing through each and every model with gauging eyes. If one didn't impress him, he just moved to the next one. Even if the design didn't appeal to him, he didn't even bother to look at the features. Someone like him needed something that would look just as good as he did. He didn't accept anything less.

His friend behind him, however, wasn't as patient (or interested) as he was. Rolling his eyes, the orange-haired man smacked Grimmjow on the back of his head when Grimmjow _agonised _over a sliding phone or the flipping type.

Like seriously, who _agonized _like he was going to die? Over fucking _phones?_

If he didn't know any better, he would've thought that his best friend was a girl in disguise, indecisive over a new pair of shoes or the 'in' designer bag.

"Ow!" Grimmjow glared, rubbing the back of his head, but didn't do anything more. "Don't interrupt me, this is a matter between life and death!"

Then he went back to his search, grumbling about people who had no appreciation for the art of beauty. Ichigo just rolled his eyes, and amused himself by looking at the scenery.

The store's staff were a bit overwhelmed, he could see. It wasn't any surprise - Grimmjow just stormed into the store without a moment's notice, immediately barking at the nearest salesgirl for the latest catalouge. If Grimmjow called him obsessed over chocolates, he called Grimmjow obsessed over phones. And burritos.

The blue-haired man beside him suddenly shouted in triumph, and ordered the people to get the model he wanted. Everyone scrambled to fill his order.

"Oh my god, Grimmy. It's just a fucking phone," he groaned out, half in embarassment at the situation. If he wasn't his best friend he would've bolted a long time ago. Why was he here again?

... Good question. Just exactly why was he here? He didn't need to buy a new phone; in fact, he should be doing something more productive. Like, maybe, finish his assignment instead of rotting away while Grimmjow agonized over whether he should pick the black one, or the white one, or match his hair and go with the blue one. Agh!

Or maybe get some food. Come to think of it, he hadn't had breakfast today, and he hadn't really eaten out in a while. Now that sounded like a plan.

"Hey Grimmy, I'mma go for lunch, alright?" he hollered, getting up and dusting his pants. Grimmjow waved a hand of acknowledgement, not paying attention as he was swept in the flurry.

Ichigo exited the shop, feeling the biting air of winter almost immediately. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and started wandering aimlessly, looking at the shops but not really seeing.

Grimmjow insisted on buying his phone in the shopping and entertainment district of the city. Most of the people who walked the streets were young, hip, or at least well off - as Ichigo observed curiously, noting the designer clothes and accessories which the women took up, and the clean-cut look most of the men adopted, like trenchcoats and buttoned up shirts with slacks.

On the other hand, Ichigo was completely comfortable in his white jacket, the multitude of pockets sewed onto his cream colored trousers, the white sneakers with freaking white laces and a splash of color from his inner sweater to complete the look - dark orange, to match his hair.

He decided for the neutral winter look. Ichigo slipped on his shades, ignoring some curious glances as he walked.

Once upon a time ago he would've felt horribly out of place at a place like this - especially during his teenage years, when he was still cultivating his detached image - but now he couldn't really care less. Urahara gave a sweet-ass pay, so he knew he had enough in his savings to match any of them. There's also the fact that he never really spent his money often, more content to sit back and watch it grow.

Who knows, maybe he'll meet a nice girl, or guy, and buy a house near the beaches of Bora Bora or something. Eh. What he really needed after college, though, was a nice, long vacation.

He wasn't really interested in finding a life partner... And why was he even thinking about it!?

"Sir?" a polite voice spoke up, startling Ichigo from his thoughts. "Are you alright? You've been in deep thought in front of our entrance for a few minutes now."

"Ah, really...?" Ichigo looked up from the man's face and realized he was right. He was standing in front of a... Cafe of sorts. Was it? It looks a bit too classy, actually, but then again, he was too bored to look around some more. Maybe he could give it a try - who knew, maybe they had karashi-mentaiko on their menu. "I spaced out. Do you serve Fukuoka cuisine?"

The man looked surprised at the question. "Well, today is fortunately our Fukuoka special."

"Awesome, that'll be just fine with me." Ichigo shrugged, and the man looked at him for a bit more before taking it as a 'Yes, I'll be eating here'. Who was he to turn away a customer? Ichigo checked his pockets to make sure he had his wallet - after all, it'll be a bit embarassing if he ate his way through everything and couldn't pay the bill at the end.

"Sir? How many seats?"

"Hmm? Just me alone -" Well, Grimmjow would probably join him later on. "No, scratch that. Make it for two people."

"All right. Follow me, please, and careful of the wet floor..."

-

He supposed that the whole fiasco, admittedly, somewhat... Was his fault.

In a way. _In a way._

Sousuke Aizen never liked admitting to anything, he never even liked the _word_ 'admit', but right now as he was rushing to get ready, all he could think about was how foolish he was to forget what he was supposed to do today.

But then again, he never really considered on going on dates before. The idea was thought up by his right-hand man, Gin Ichimaru, who casually commented that his image in being an all powerful overlord was incomplete. Aizen cocked an eyebrow at that, asking how more complete could anybody get if they were in his position.

He had the looks. That one he didn't need anyone to tell him about, because having men or women admiring him was a staple in his daily life. He had his own personal assistant whose only job was to sort out the gifts and mail from various admirers.

He had the money. He didn't dominate the corporate world without getting nothing from it.

And he definitely had the power. There were perks heading a crime organization that had influence, or an ear over mostly every little thing that went on in the country.

So with those in mind, he asked Gin what he was lacking.

"Get yourself a girlfriend, Aizen-sama," was what he replied with, and Aizen was about to wave off the notion, before pausing. Well. The man had a point. "Even I'm surprised sometimes that you're still single."

But then again, there were reasons.

"None of them interest me Gin, you know that," Aizen said distastefully, thinking about the previous individuals who tried to secude their way up the corporate ladder. Aizen was entertained for a short while before he got bored of them, in which he disposed quickly.

"I'm not talkin' 'bout those kinda people, Aizen-sama." The silver-haired man grinned wider. "Maybe you should get out more a little. Like I dunno, get a date. Have a life, eh?"

Aizen twitched unnoticably.

"C'mon, where's the harm in it? I'mma take care of everythin'. I'll tell you a place and a time, so get ready tomorrow, yeah?"

Aizen sighed. He really did see no harm in it. And anyway, the sooner he got over this, the sooner Gin would get off his back and stop playing games.

So here he was, in the car while adjusting his tie and his shirt. Gin was beside him, shaking his head. "No, no, Aizen-sama. This is a casual date, not a business meetin'! Take off that tie right now and look natural," he insisted, that Aizen just rolled his eyes and took off the damn thing. At least he didn't feel as if he was suffocating anymore. "I said look natural, not constipated."

Then he wondered for the millionth time why he still employed Gin.

"And let your hair down. You don't want anyone to recognize you as Sousuke, now, would you?"

Aizen sighed irritably, and mussed his hair. "Yes, _mother_." Gin ignored him.

"Oh, here we are." At least the restaurant was nice-looking - up to his standards enough that he didn't have to wince. Gin really knew how to pick a place. "'Kay, so they actually booked a place already. Just walk in, don't worry about that, and with the usual greetings, be charmin', not over the top, and for _god's sake _just try to _relax_."

He smacked Aizen's shoulder's lightly, and the man promptly stopped being tense, giving a warning look. "Gin."

The silver-haired man looked contrite enough. "Sorry, Aizen-sama. But I'm serious, you really gotta relax." Aizen opened the door and stepped outside, brushing his trenchcoat. He almost didn't notice the items thrown to him, so he caught them, if only barely.

A box of chocolates and some flowers.

Now, Aizen was not a naturally romantic man, so he had to stare at them for a bit before comprehending.

"You want me to give them flowers and chocolates?"

"Yep! Be romantic, yanno? Bye Aizen-sama, and see you later; go, go," Gin shoo-ed with a devilish grin, and promptly asked the chauffer to drive away.

Aizen blinked for a few moments, before turning to enter the eating establishment.

_Is it just me, or did Gin just got better at manipulating people?_

Suitably amused at the great lengths taken to make him take a break - he could read Gin's subtle intentions, no matter what the man said - he nonetheless confronted the maitre'd to make sure what he said was correct.

The man furrowed his eyes. "Hm, there is one customer expecting another at the moment. Kurosaki Ichigo... Is that right, sir?"

Now he knew why he was bothered. Gin never told him the name of his... Date. He supposed it was right - this 'Ichigo' was the only one on the list anyway. Aizen nodded with conviction, and the man withdrew to escort him to the table.

As he was on his way, Aizen already had assumptions about the individual who was waiting for him.

_Ichigo... Probably a girl. 'Strawberry' - oh dear god, if it's another bubbly girl waiting to throw herself at me, I'm going to kill Gin slowly._

When they neared the table, Aizen was surprised. He would've thought that Gin picked a girl, but he could very obviously see that it was a man, with shockingly bright orange hair and casual clothes. He was a mixture between handsome and pretty, with a fit body enhanced by a dark orange sweater, and was very obviously younger than him. His face was bored as he sipped on his beverage slowly, watching the outside scenery with feigned interest.

Gin must have been on crack. The boy looked like he was still in college.

"Sir, your guest is here," the maitre'd said respectably, addressing the male. He then bowed to the both of them before leaving them to their own devices.

"Okay, thank you..." The boy's voice died down slowly as he looked at Aizen with barely-hidden surprise, and a little hint of something he couldn't put his finger on; confusion, he supposed. Aizen was used to that kind of attention, so he mentally shrugged at the reaction and smiled charmingly.

Time to play.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I presume?" Aizen asked, though he didn't need to, and the boy blinked, nodding dumbly. He quickly took over the situation, sitting on the previously unoccupied seat opposite of Ichigo and depositing his gifts on the table.

"Er... Yeah. Wait a minute, who are you?" Ichigo asked, with a painfully confused expression on his face. Aizen blinked. Gin said he would take care of everything.

"Forgive me, I thought you already knew." But silently he was making a promise to himself to question Gin's intentions. Nonetheless, he used the name both of them discussed about. "My name is Hiroshi Aizen; and I was told that I was supposed to meet you here for lunch?" he asked lightly, looking for any sign of recognition.

Instead, the boy looked even more confused. Aizen had a fleeting thought that it was cute, but anyone could be cute.

Well, maybe except the Chief of Police for Karakura City, Yamamoto Genryuusai. He just plain got in the way.

"I was actually expecting a friend of mine to come, actually," Ichigo said politely but honestly, looking genuinely apologetic. "I'm sorry, but you're... Um, not him?"

Aizen sighed. He had a way of reading people, and expected as much. But maybe he could work this situation to his advantage.

"I figured as much. No, you don't need to apologize," he cut in, when Ichigo was about to say something. "My... Assistant thought that I should get out more, you know, experience the outside world. He set up a 'date' for between me and a person I've never met." He looked thoughtfully at the orange-haired boy, before quirking a smirk. "Do you mind if we just pretend for a little while? Gin would get off my back eventually, and I'm sorry for the trouble."

In actually, he wasn't very sorry at all. But the least he could do was offer some sort of courtesy. It wouldn't be very becoming of him if he made a scene in the restaurant.

Ichigo shrugged, surprising Aizen who thought the boy wouldn't agree to it so easily. "Sure, what the heck. I could use the company, I was getting bored of waiting for my order. They kinda take too long."

"Is your friend coming?" Aizen asked out of courtesy, and Ichigo laughed.

"Nah, he's probably still searching for a new phone. It got busted yesterday. Kinda weird, 'cause the guy broke his phone into two."

Strange. He knew Ulquiorra made a scene yesterday by breaking someone's phone to pieces. He wondered distantly if Ichigo's friend had anything to do with it.

Nevermind. Ichigo was quickly warming up to him, and Aizen felt the telltale signs that he was already about to relax.

"But anyway, why don't you order? Since you said you came here for lunch and all."

"You're right... Excuse me!"

A few minutes later, the waiter had a list of what Aizen wanted. The man really had expensive taste, Ichigo noted, eyelids flying open at the price of the wine he ordered earlier. _Oh wow._

"So, er... I'm guessing that you eat out often -"

Ichigo was interrupted, and Aizen amusedly noted that the boy's eyes zoomed in onto the items he was holding. Particularly the chocolates. "... Are those a collection of the one and only _Cero _chocolates which I couldn't get a hold of because they were sold out everywhere but you are obviously holding a box of them?" he asked detachedly, transfixed.

Aizen cocked an eyebrow. He never really ate chocolates so he shrugged. Such a thing shouldn't be wasted, anyway, so he handed the box over to a confused Ichigo.

Who promptly made a very faint, but audible sound of happiness.

"You can have them, I never cared much for chocolates. But my assistant insisted on having me bring these." Then he glanced at the flowers, _ah what the hell, _and dropped them into Ichigo's lap. "Keep the flowers. He'll ask me otherwise."

Ichigo smiled, opting to not question Aizen's judgement - but his smile twitched when he held the flowers, sniffing them.

"It's kinda ironic that my favorites are these."

It slipped out of Ichigo's mouth before he could think about it, really.

"Roses?" Aizen asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. Ichigo had the audacity to blush lightly, a light red brushing his cheeks as he looked to the side, trying to maintain his tough image but failing miserably. He cleared his throat.

"Err, yeah, I'm kinda a romantic nut at heart." Suddenly Ichigo placed a finger on his lips, eyes widening. "That's a secret only you are privy too. So shush. If my friends get a hold of this, they'll never let me live it down. Okay?"

Aizen chuckled. "Your secret is safe with me." In truth, he couldn't really care less, but he felt no harm in humoring Ichigo. The youth amused him. At least they still had the chance to deal with the simpler aspects of life instead of thinking of the next day. "So tell me something about yourself, Ichigo."

"Me? You already know I'm obsessed over chocolates, and that I'm, um, all mushy inside." Ichigo shook his head, grinning. "No way, it's your turn this time."

"I suppose you're right." So what to tell, what to tell? There was a lot he could lie about... But maybe, just this once, he could give a hint or two to what he does. It'll be a nice change from twisting and turning around questions from the press, dodging accusations. Just a little harmless chat. "Well, about me... I manage a company," he started. Not too bad, it wasn't a lie.

Ichigo looked flatly unimpressed at the answer.

"_Cero _chocolates aren't cheap, and you have an _assistant_ too. I kinda figured that out. The wine, especially, gave it away."

_Smart boy. _Aizen chuckled again, shaking his head. "All right, all right. I am a CEO. Of course, for security reasons, I can't very much tell you which company I manage."

"Of course," Ichigo agreed, his lips quirking. "Well, I'm a student of the local university."

"Majoring in?"

"Oh, literature," Ichigo replied easily, and Aizen blinked in surprise. Well, well. "Surprising, isn't it? But nah, I've always looked up to Shakespeare and stuff. I guess I never wanted to do the business stuff or medical, like my dad."

"I see."

"So what d'you like, eh? Stop talking about me, let's talk about you."

Ichigo shifted in his seat to get more comfortable, already enjoying the pleasant company. Grimmjow was right, maybe he should get out more often. Stuff like this just didn't happen in real life - but then again, he was a thief.

So maybe it wasn't too bad to stop and smell the flowers.

Unbeknowest to Ichigo, Aizen was thinking along the same lines too.

All right.

So maybe he wouldn't kill Gin slowly.

-

Aizen insisted on paying. Ichigo had no choice, because the man successfully distracted him with trick questions that forced him to accept that 'Yes, I'm about to pay for you, so just shut up and sit tight'.

Ichigo sat tight, turning slowly red in indignation, a bit of irritation and a whole lot of embarassment. He thought that this was only like a pretend date, and not for real, and Aizen was already taking over everything.

Man.

Man oh man.

At least Grimmjow wasn't here to laugh at him.

"Thank you for lunch," Ichigo grounded out, clutching the flowers and chocolates to himself, scratching his cheek, not really looking at Aizen.

The man in question slipped out a credit card for the waiter - a Platinum Card, Ichigo noticed, only because he looked through executive's wallets before.

"You're welcome. I enjoyed it, really," Aizen said smoothly, smiling, before looking at his watch. "It's probably my time to leave. It was nice to make your acquaintance, Ichigo."

"Oh, er - likewise."

Right. He probably wouldn't see the man again - unless he went on a job. But even then, he couldn't really say 'hi' during one of his heists, right? '_Oh, I was the guy who you paid lunch for, and I'm here to rob you_.' Ha ha and ha.

When they parted ways, shaking hands, Ichigo walked down back to the phone store, where Grimmjow was just about to make an exit.

"You actually took that long to buy a phone?" Ichigo asked, cocking an eyebrow. Grimmjow snorted.

"Hell no, man, I was looking for you. I thought you'd be back here - remember, you didn't tell me where you went for lunch. So I went to grab a burrito."

"Oh yeah."

"'Oh yeah' he says. Eh. But, more importantly..." Grimmjow leered at him, pointing at the flowers and the chocolates. "Where have _you_ been?"

And Ichigo suddenly had a flashback of Hiroshi Aizen. The man was charming, and he was handsome, and he was - oh shit. No way. No way no way _no way._

He blinked, turning red without noticing, while Grimmjow was so amused that he laughed out loud, teasing Ichigo as they headed back to their apartment, throwing questions which Ichigo dodged.

For now.

-

A/N: BAHAHAHAA!

So... So mushy. Ew. Oh well, the action starts next chapter, probably! 8D More scenes for Ishida the policeman, fosho!

Have a nice day everyone!


	4. Telling and Listening

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

-

Summary: Thieves working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: They con people. -solemn nod-

Review Response:

Bittersweet-mis: x3 Sorry for the confusion! Aizen's name is Hiroshi for the time being, because he can't very well tell everyone he's Sousuke Aizen. o.o You know, privacy and all. 'Hiroshi' is like his, um, 'identity' at the moment. And Gin _didn't_ know where Ichigo will be. I'm just blaming it all on pure, purepurepure coincidence. :D

I'm still working on how Ulqui and Grimmy meet, though. o.o

This is crack. I know. It's pure crack. Crack that's disguised as not really crack because of the presence of a plot and the stupid twisty events, but in essence, it is _crack. _That's why Ichigo and Grimmjow are thieves. That's why they have a secret underground lair.

D:

Enjoy the chapter:D

-

"You ready?" Ichigo asked, but he didn't actually needed to. Rangiku gave a silent nod anyway, and they checked their watches, looking out for any sudden change of plans. At least they were on schedule. Grimmjow should be coming at any minute -

BAM

The door slammed shut from the left side and Ichigo looked up from his cap, shifting his lollipop to the side as he spoke. "Now that was quiet."

"Shut the fuck up, berry-head."

They did this on every job.

"Now get off. I'm gonna go take this baby for a spin."

"Don't break her," Ichigo warned, getting out of his seat while Grimmjow vaulted inside the car, grinning. "Seriously, Grimmjow, we need a quick escape this time 'round."

"I make no promises."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, and took the stuff out from the backseat, shrugging the bags on his shoulders while Rangiku had a toolbox.

"Good enough. Come on Princess, let's get a move on."

"Okay!" she said cheerfully, and they walked briskly to the building, immediately entering the employee corridor, where a guard stood there. Ichigo flashed him a quick, easy smile.

"Hey there! They called us in for a quick fix-up for the main generator, mind givin' me the pass?"

"Er - yeah. They were expecting you... Only not two people." The guard gave him a suspicious look, but Ichigo ignored that, looking indignant.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I thought I could bring in my new assistant. I even told them that I would." Ichigo pointed at Rangiku, who smiled cheerfully, waving. Like any other normal men, the guard sized her up in appraisal. Ichigo frowned. "Hey, hey - hands off. She's new in this town, wouldn't want to give her a scare now would you?"

"Sorry about that." The man looked at the orange-haired man apologetically. "Look, seriously, I can't let both of you pass without proper authorization. They didn't tell me about this."

"Please sir. This is my first time in a big place like this," Rangiku said pleadingly, pouting. "I won't get in the way, promise. I'm sure you do a _wonderful_ job, can't you let a girl slip by sometime?"

"Well... I guess..."

"Hurry up, mate, we haven't got any time. They want us to fix it up now, our bosses ain't gonna wait, yeah?"

"Any word of trouble and this immediately goes to you two," the guard warned, punching in the security access numbers.

"Of course!"

"Now let me see your cards."

Ichigo held up his tag, while Rangiku held up hers. The guard looked at them and decided it was good enough.

"You're free to go. Use the service elevators and go down to the basement; that's where the main gen's holed up."

"That's a good man. Come on, Princess."

"Alright!"

When they went through the door, Ichigo smirked at Rangiku. "That was great."

"I am not the Mistress for nothing, my Strawberry," Rangiku said, winking, before they ended up in a two-way split of the hallways. Ichigo went left while Rangiku went right.

"Catch you later, Ran."

"All right!"

Ichigo made a quick turn to the left, and sure enough, the elevators were there - but these weren't meant for service. He slipped into the nearby fire escape staircase, stopping at where he was to take off his jumpsuit.

Under it was a perfectly fine tuxedo. Ichigo placed a small, skin-coloured device in his ear, and could hear Szayel perfectly.

_"You're lookin' sexy, baby."_

Ichigo winked at the cameras, and stuffed his discarded jumpsuit in his bag and leaving it there. He exited the staircase area and climbed into the elevator, adjusting and readjusting his tie.

_"I said you look sexy. That means you're good to go, you vain shit."_

"Tell that to Grimmjow," Ichigo laughed softly, and straightened as the elevator gave a pleasant sound to indicate that they were on the first floor.

Ichigo exited as the sound of socialites chatting and champagne flutes clinking against each other washed over him.

He fit perfectly right in.

-

_4_

_Telling and Listening_

-

-

The white was mixing into the set black words of the typed up paperwork. That was bad. Ishida looked at the reports for a bit longer, before grimacing at the headache that was about to settle in. He sighed, and sat back to enjoy his fourth cup of coffee that day.

The culprits of the Kuroyagi case were still eluding him. Somehow he could only work out that there were two inside men on this job - but it bothered him. He was sure there was one missing person, someone that was doing the real work instead of destroying stuff like the alleged perpetrators did, someone who was practically invisible.

Firstly, Kuroyagi reported that a total estimate of five million dollars were stolen from his family vault, in value of cash and jewellery.

The police combed through the place more meticulously.

So apparently, they recieved a report that a secret vault was found inside the house after intense searching for evidence. The Kuroyagi senior immediately asked the police to leave at this information, and closed off the case of the assault to his house.

The highly suspicious behavior put the department on edge. Ishida did some intense searching, and they found out that Kuroyagi dealed in providing firearms illegally to various gangs. Additional evidence was provided by an anonymous contact, who provided pictures of the vault when it opened.

Filled to the brim with standard weapons that terrorized the city.

The police issued a warrant to search the vault, and the information was correct. He was hauled off for arrest. Kuroyagi was now under fire when the information leaked out. He was now charged with corruption and lost his political influence; a disgraced man.

But the disappearance of the five million dollars worth of items mystified everyone. Yamamoto Genryuusai, the Chief of Police, assigned Ishida to look through the case. The information of Kuroyagi's illicit dealings were also a complete mystery, but Ishida had a feeling that the anonymous person had a connection with the sudden assault of Kuroyagi's mansion. They were just too sudden.

Still, with the lack of evidence, Ishida was nowhere. Sighing and vowing to work on the case later, he got up from his seat, discarded his paper cup, and stepped out for a breather.

An uninterrupted one, he hoped.

-

_Silence. I kill you now. Bahaha._

_-_

_The so-called culprits' residence_

It was a fucking beautiful day. Ichigo opened his eyes slowly and grinned at the sunshine, turning over so he could face it. Yep, beautiful. He stayed in this position for a small moment, revelling in the warmth, before he tensed when his bed dipped.

Grimmjow looked over at him and rolled his eyes. "Fucking morning bitch." The blue-haired man walked over to the other side of the bed, sitting down on the floor while facing Ichigo. He went on to prop his arms on the bed and resting his head on it, grinning knowingly.

"So you just got into a date with some hot guy."

Ichigo stared at Grimmjow, and turned away slowly, shielding his eyes as he groaned. He didn't need to deal with this, and promptly told it to Grimmjow. He ignored him.

"Grimmjow, it's too early in the morning."

"By some unearthly coincidence."

"Grimmjow, stuff it."

"And he gives you chocolates and flowers. Your favourite chocolates, and your favorite flowers. By _fucking _'_coincidence_'."

"Grimmjow, shut up."

"You sure he's just a stranger?" Grimmjow said cheekily, dodging the punch thrown his way. "Oh my god, this is serious shit, man. I can't believe it! I leave you for a _moment _and this happens!"

"Grimmjow, shut the fuck up!"

Ichigo grumbled as Grimmjow laughed hysterically instead, taking his pillow and putting it over his head. Agh! He shouldn't have told the man anything in the first place! Ever since two days ago, the man had been teasing him about it every which way. What a pain in the ass, seriously. Grimmjow should win an award.

He firmly repeated to himself that he was _not _going to meet that sexy brown-haired hunk of a man anytime soon without some serious fiddlin' in his life. If Urahara mentions a mark anywhere near the name 'Hiroshi', or 'Aizen', he was going to stay out of that job and board up his room. Otherwise, he'd just go crazy.

Whatever, you know. Okay.

Ichigo sighed, and got up, ignoring Grimmjow's jeers as he stumbled into the bathroom.

"So, did he look anywhere close to screwin' ya?"

Ichigo stopped abruptly and launched himself at Grimmjow, poised for a kick.

"Screw you!"

-

"What're we doing again, today?"

"Fourth day after Kuroyagi, so... Probably we better head to HQ and find out what's the next mark. In the least, we gotta hang 'round for the latest news." Grimmjow ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. "Remind me to pick up my conditioner after this."

"Right, 'kay."

"And stop daydreamin' about your lover boy."

Ichigo growled, flipping his friend his index and middle fingers together.

"Fuck you."

"Fuck him," Grimmjow shot back, grinning, then he pulled into the back alleyway of the Kisuke Hypermarket area.

They entered the building at the next minute, from a door near the drop-off area. Twisting a few hallways after that, they were soon facing a harmless looking elevator with a security pad to the side. Grimmjow entered in the numbers this time, while Ichigo busied himself waiting.

A light beep was heard and the doors opened for both of them. They wasted no time in entering, letting the usual kind of smell from the cleaners wash over them. Immaculate. Ichigo still had the chills when the lights from the sensors scanned them immediately, determining for granted or denied access.

It should be ridiculous, really. Something from an action movie. But Urahara was incredibly sensitive about his security that he took no second chances. He even designed the whole building, making sure that there were no flaws in the system.

The elevator was descending several floors underground. Urahara just had a thing for the underground.

Soon enough, Grimmjow and Ichigo were facing their nameless organization's doors. The blue-haired man was the one to break the comfortable silence first.

"So, what'dyou think's gonna happen?"

"Eh, the old man's probably gonna make us lay off. I still think it's too early, _Arrancar _might still be looking for us, yeah?" Ichigo said, chewing the bottom of his lip. He smashed some more security numbers and the doors slid open without resistance.

When they entered, their faces were immediately pressed up against an impossibly large pair of breasts. Rangiku squealed in their faces, hugging tight.

If Grimmjow and Ichigo were lesser men, or straight for that matter, they'd be enjoying the moment and grabbing everywhere, blushing pervertically. Unfortunately, they were far too used to the treatment that they just stayed put, letting Rangiku have her moment.

"How are my Strawberry and Kitty Cat?" she asked, giving both of them sloppy kisses on their cheeks. Ichigo 'eh'ed, grinning at the woman, while Grimmjow bristled at the nickname.

"We're doing fine, Ran."

"That's good! The Kuroyagi performance was unbelievable, might I add! Sure showed that bastard," she said conversationally, putting a hand on her hip as she strutted inside the facility. Grimmjow and Ichigo took it as a sign to follow. "If you're looking for Urahara, he should be getting back soon. He said he had something to check, I don't know, didn't say."

"Really?"

Moments later, they were seated in the relaxing room. Grimmjow flipped on the television. It was still a fucking mystery why it could work underground so well.

"So, any news so far?" he asked, flipping through channels faster than what should be possible.

But then again, Rangiku was impossible, he himself had blue hair, Ichigo's natural hair color was orange and they were in a freaking _underground _facility for _thieves_. Since when did possible exist?

Rangiku filed her nails, blowing on them absently.

"Eh, seems like the heat died down, a lot. Kuroyagi was exposed for the corrupt politician he was, and shit happened. Now they're focusing on said shit rather than us, which is a good thing."

"How 'bout Arrancar?"

Rangiku had a fond smile on her face when the name popped up. Her long-time boyfriend was one of the higher ones in the crime organization, which should've freaked out everybody, but they just got used to it.

She was a total oddity.

Somehow she was in a threesome relationship because her boyfriend loved two people - her and this kid called Izuru Kira, which was Renji's best friend. Small world. She doesn't mind the company though, and could be seen talking to the blond sometime in casual cafes, sharing chaste kisses and being the best of friends.

"Arrancar's probably gonna kick up the search a little. Still, you're not completely off the hook yet," Rangiku said warningly, waving a finger. Ichigo shrugged. "I'm pretty sure the police is still looking for you, so be careful."

"All right, all right, we will. Have we or have we not been in this business for a few years now?"

"Yes you have. And you've grown up so well!" Rangiku sniffed, rubbing an eye free of some unseen tear. "My Strawberry and the little Kitty Cat. Already making a name for themselves."

Grimmjow growled again, but unwilling to do anything else. "I am not a cat!"

"Can't tell the difference, really. Right, Ichigo?"

"Yep." Ichigo grinned at Grimmjow's sulking, but it disappeared when the blue-haired man smiled suddenly, with a mischevious glint to his face.

Ichigo's grin deflated altogether.

"Want me to spill to Ran 'bout your lover boy, berry-head?"

Ichigo growled this time, but was drowned out by Rangiku's squeal. "He has a boyfriend!? Strawberry! I had no idea! I'm so proud of you! So who is he, who is he? I need details, people, oh!"

"He's not my boyfriend, goddamn it!"

_Grimmjow, I am going to __**burn **__your fucking ass for this._

"Don't damn this and that, baby," a voice said cheerfully from the doorway, and all of them looked up. Seems that Szayel was dropping by. The pink-haired man stepped into the room, grinning suggestively at Ichigo. "You got a boyfriend now? Such a shame - I wanted that piece of ass for myself. Seems like I have to settle with Grimmy-boy here."

Ichigo agonized. He didn't want anybody to know, goddamn it, but _nooo, _Grimmjow just had to show it off. Well fuck him!

"Tell the whole world that I went on one stupid date _why don't you_!" Ichigo shouted at Grimmjow, cursing.

Grimmjow's grin just got wider.

Ichigo smacked a hand over his mouth.

_Shitshitshitshit!_

"Well then..." The man showed his teeth, winking - "I can't very well say no to that now, can I?" Then he laughed evilly, about to go out and, as Ichigo put it, tell the whole world about it. Ichigo chased him, glaring.

_Why is everybody so amused that I just went on one stupid date? One stupid date! Agh!_

But before Grimmjow could the hallway, Urahara stepped in, clogs hitting against the floor, smirking.

"Well well, Ichigo got himself someone, hmm?"

Ichigo paled. "How did you know that?"

"You just practically shouted it to the whole facility."

-

"Ichigo, stop sulking on the corner."

"I am not sulking!" Ichigo retorted, looking back at the floor, back facing the others who were laughing, and assuming a fetal position. "I'm growing mushrooms! Now lay off! And I don't have a boyfriend! It was all coincidence! _Coincidence!_" Paranoidly, Ichigo moved closer to the corner.

"Right..." Urahara had a few more laughs, before he stopped and grinned at the audience. "Right men! There really isn't anything we should do right now that's important. Everything's sorted out by me, so that means you all are freelancers for the time being, unless we can get another mark. Stupid, corrupt, and loaded ones as usual," Urahara chuckled, waving his stick around.

But he immediately had a change in attitude for Grimmjow and Ichigo. "You two remember to lay low like I told you to. I told Arrancar to lay off, but that doesn't mean that the police will. Heat's not cool yet."

"Like every other time we do a job, we know."

"Seriously, take a break." Urahara sighed, adjusting his hat. "The past month's been mad. You two don't go freelancing or I'll take a lance myself and go lance your stupid lance-happy asses. And believe me, I know when you do."

"Um." Grimmjow held up two hands, eyes wide. "Okay. We get it. Seriously."

"Good. Now, on to other things..." Urahara smiled disarmingly at Ichigo.

He cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Who's this boyfriend of yours?"

"He is _not, my, __**boyfriend!**_"

-

_Going places, and being free, going more places and -_

-

_The Sousuke Corporation, 88th Floor_

Aizen sneezed. Maybe he was coming down with a cold, or maybe it was just the winter. Gin handed him a tissue. He was in his office, looking over the latest market reports, but remembered Gin's constant badgering for him to take a break.

He turned around to watch the view from his skyscraper. The lights of Karakura City gleamed from where he was, and Aizen looked pensive as he thought about random things.

Before he inevitably went back to his work. Gin, who wasn't too far away from him, rolled his eyes.

"Aizen-sama, you are what people would call a workaholic.Personally, I'd like to call it _obsessed._"

"I am not obsessed with my work."

"You are. And you need a break."

"I just had one two days ago." Aizen ticked the options he wanted for the closing week, and signed the paper with a seamless, quick flick of his hand. Gin placed his hands onto the desk, and promptly took away Aizen's signature pen.

"Hey, Aizen-sama."

Aizen sighed, rubbing his forehead as he looked up at his lieutenant-slash-right-hand man. He didn't _need_ a break, no. Gin did a wonderful job filling up for him yesterday but he needed to be in control.

"_Yes_, Gin?"

"How'd that date go?" Gin asked curiously, tilting his head. "I figured you were gonna tell me 'bout it but it's been two days. Has it really been that bad?"

Aizen gave a flat look.

"Has it ever occured to you that you never told me the date's name? You said you'd take care of everything..."

Gin's smile dissolved into a frown, immediately looking apologetic - contrite. "I didn't? I'm sorry, Aizen-sama. So you were alone, then?" His face shifted into an expression that made Aizen curious, but Gin didn't care - he knew something was off. The man smiled again. "You didn't come back with the chocolates and the flowers..."

"I could have just left them on the table - but I didn't." Aizen chuckled, shaking his head. "It was a strange coincidence. There was a boy who was waiting for someone - the most curious orange hair; a college student. I dined with him instead."

Aizen picked off the pen from Gin's fingers and went back to his signing - slowly, now, so that Gin wouldn't retort.

Instead, the man's head tilted minimally. "You enjoyed yourself, Aizen-sama."

"I did." Aizen smirked, sharp eyes peering into the silver-haired man. "You planned this. Those chocolates and flowers were his favourite - too much of a coincidence, if you ask me."

"I would take credit if I could, but unfortunately I didn't." Gin's grin didn't waver. "It really is coincidence. It's either that or fate. Nothing to it."

Aizen snorted. "Fate. I control my own fate." He looked to the windows, and on the horizon he could see the storm clouds shifting and looming ominously over a darkening sky. Then he shook his head, somehow seeing a flash of orange.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Whatever made you think that, Gin?"

"Aizen-sama, I've known you for too long. You like him, and I'm not going to pass this chance up." Gin had his customary grin in place as he paced the room. Aizen raised an eyebrow.

"What chance, Gin?"

"For you to get a life. Work, work, work, that's all with you isn't it? Live a little. What's the boy's name?"

To his surprise, Aizen remembered. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

"You even remember his name. Gods above." Gin shook his head, but his smile never left. "He's a college student. Set up meeting points for him. Since you control your own fate, make sure you know where he's going, this time."

"Gin, what are you doing?" Aizen asked, in half-amusement, half-indignation. Gin huffed.

"Asking you to take a leave. Woo this boy."

"... 'Woo'?"

"Ya heard me, Aizen-sama. Take. A. Break. From. Work. Your subordinates aren't as incompetent as you think, we'll take over for you."

"If I were to be polite, Gin - are you on crack?"

"No, I am very much sane." Gin plucked the pen out of Aizen's fingers again, and the brown-haired man was starting to get a little bit more annoyed by that, but kept silent. Maybe Gin would see how much of a futile attempt this was, and let him go back to what things originally were before this whole fiasco with this orange-haired boy happened. "Finish your work today, file in for a week's vacation or so."

Aizen's eyes widened marginally. "_A week?_"

"No less than that, Aizen-sama."

Aizen looked at him calculatingly, frowning. Gin looked back at his superior, grinning.

The clouds outside started to roll, giving out a grand, thunderous noise.

-

_Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight_

_You see the same damn thing, it's just a different day and_

_No one really cares that this is happenin'_

_But it's happening_

-

_A green-eyed man's apartment_

Ulquiorra blinked at the paper.

A complete fucking mystery.

He was given leave.

Of course he was obedient, very happy to serve, but he didn't exactly do it for the rewards. He liked his job. It was like re-educating people-trash about their place in society. Aizen-sama gave him free reign of the newbies, mostly, and he didn't mind the work. He was more of the disciplinary figure of their organization.

But still, leave. Ulquiorra hummed thoughtfully, frowning into the distance as he entered back into his apartment. His laptop was near the coffee he was drinking earlier - steaming, still, before he got his mail - and he turned on the database program.

Ulquiorra looked at the options, and tapped his fingers in thought.

_Name:_

_Age:_

_Gender:_

_Occupation:_

_Eye Color:_

_Hair Color:_

And a whole lot of other options, but he decided to fill in the third, fourth, fifth and sixth. He figured the man would be in college - had the whole look in his eyes, and wasn't very old either - he was a _man, _at that, and his features were easy enough. Ulquiorra clicked the search button and waited for the results to come up.

_Your search has returned one result._

Apparently, the only blue-haired male in Karakura University was a man called Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. Ulquiorra clicked on the link, and narrowed his eyes in recognization.

_Found you._

Then he paused.

Why was he so obsessed over this blue-haired freak of nature? It baffled even himself.

Shrugging nevertheless, he saved the profile to read up on later, in favor of having a shower. Ulquiorra felt like he needed to check up on the guy who could dodge most of his attacks and he needed to find out _why is he pissing me off so much _and he needed to hunt him down.

After he got back from the leek incident, he realized that there was one thing he unfortunately forgot about the phone. The memory was usually stored into a card separate to the phone. So his embarassing display of self-control had a possibility to still make its way to Aizen-sama's hands.

That would be disgraceful.

_But you don't really need that kind of extreme reason to stalk him._

_Shut up, self._

Ulquiorra squashed down the pervasive thoughts violently, kicked on it and shot it multiple times. Then threw it away. He was not stalking Grimmjow.

_I am not stalking him._

_Bullshit, Ulqui -_

_Bull._

_Shit._

_-_

_Chapter Four End._

_-_

_-_

A/N: Ulqui's gonna stalk Grimmjow? The answer is - look in the next chapter. xD

Thanks for reading so far into the story. I love you guys.

Have a nice day.


	5. Battles of Fists and Wits

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

-

Summary: Thieves working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: Well, you know. x3 I'm fine here. How are you all:D

I realized I was like, updating this story every two/three days. o.o It's keeping my holiday occupied, though, so I'm not complaining much. Maybe. :D But maybe I shouldn't update this fast. I mean, maybe once a week. What do you think:3

No flashback this time around! Purely present time chapter. :D

Maybe I should write about the bald old man soon. Eh.

Enjoy :D Read and review, please!

-

_5_

_Battles of Fists and Wits_

-

-

Ichigo chewed on his gum and blew a bright, light blue bubble. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned against the car, tapping to the rhythm coming from his earphones. The wires disappeared into his white jacket - zipped up to keep off the cold.

All in all, it was a nice day. Beautiful type of weather, lightly snowing. The slush was bearable to walk through, and his boots kept his feet warm, so life was good. Rangiku should be done with her shopping soon, and then he'll have a nice, quiet time for peace in his apartment -

"In a minute, Strawberry darling! I'll be finished soon!"

Ichigo snapped his head up, almost spitting out his gum.

"That's what you said an hour ago!"

"But look at these boots!" Rangiku said pathetically, showing her beautifully crafted legs and the nice footwear that she wore. "They don't match my outfit! I _need_another one!"

Orihime, who was behind her, looked apologetic - but that was just it. Apologetic. She didn't really intervene or anything, and Ichigo could see the barely hidden giddiness for another shot at the mall.

Ichigo grimaced, looking off to the side as he 'tch'ed.

"Whatever. Knock yourself out."

He stuffed his fingers into his ears when Rangiku shrieked in happiness, running back into the building. Ichigo didn't feel like following her and being the one who's gonna carry all the bags. But Rangiku dragged him off, anyway.

It was a new mall, still in its grand opening week, so Rangiku couldn't resist. The only reason why Ichigo was here was because Rangiku had asked him to accompany her since her boyfriend would be busy handling the work around the workplace; no free time. He really had no choice because he couldn't say no unless he wanted a whole lot of guilt trips to make him feel miserable.

But really though, maybe the guilt trips would be worth it if he didn't need to look at another pair of clogs, or pumps, or even the 2778th necklace just because Rangiku was indecisive.

No, really.

Sighing, he was dragged a couple more floors until Rangiku abruptly stopped in her search, squealing again. Oh dear, sweet lord. _Save me. _"Gin! I didn't know you'd be here!"

"I was looking for ya, Ran."

Ichigo stopped and stared at the newcomer - a man with silver-hair and a smiling fox type of face that just gave him the chills. He was a little bit taller than Ichigo, and not very broad, really - a very lean type of build, with bony fingers as a testament to that fact. From some distant memory, he recognized this as Rangiku's elusive boyfriend.

Hmm, how strange. He knew for a fact that Gin was an Arrancar member, but he guessed it didn't really matter.

"Why didn't you call me?" Ran asked, pouting. Gin's smile twisted into something that looked sheepish, but who knew, really? Ran and Kira were probably the only ones who could tell what the man was feeling.

"I wanted to look for ya, I knew for a fact you'd be here. Wanna make a surprise." Gin looked over her shoulder and grinned at the tag alongs. "Who's yer friends, eh?"

"That's Princess and Strawberry - Orihime and Ichigo," Rangiku replied, patting Ichigo's head. The orange-haired boy gave a quick smile and shook hands with the silver-haired man, who tilted his head in curiosity, peering at Ichigo, especially.

Ichigo blinked, but the scrunity ended quite fast. He didn't have time to ask about it.

"You two look young - the university?"

"Yeah, lit major," Ichigo replied, letting go of Gin's cold hands. Somehow he didn't really feel comfortable around the fox-faced man, but Rangiku was obviously in love with him. He supposed he trusted her judgement.

"You hangin' out with kids, now, Ran? No offence," Gin added, teasing as he looked at Ran. The woman blushed prettily, waving a hand aside as she smirked. "How 'bout Princess, then?"

"I'm taking medical. I always wanted to be a doctor!" Orihime replied, not at all adverse to Gin's smiles and behaviour. Gin 'hmm'ed in thought, wrapping his arm around Rangiku's waist.

"Well, well, smart and ambitious. Ran, you made some pretty good choices." Gin ran a finger across his lips and he gave a quick, chaste kiss to Ran, who absolutely melted in his arms and leaned against him more heavily. "Well, you wanna go shoppin' some more?"

Ichigo groaned while Orihime nodded enthusiastically, Rangiku squealed, and Gin laughed.

He fervently wished that Grimmjow was here to suffer, too.

-

Grimmjow was eternally grateful that today he had classes, so Ichigo was the only one who could accompany Orihime and Rangiku in their shopping escapades. When Ran wanted to shop, it was like hell for the others. Except the ones who joined in.

He smirked, thinking of the ways Ichigo was cursing him now.

The smirk abruptly disappeared when the lecturer brought down a ruler on his desk. What was he, an elementary student?

"Daydreaming again, Mr. Jagar_jaks_?" the lecturer said nasally, over-pronoucing her words and Grimmjow restrained the urge to punch the lady in the face. He _hated_this particular lecturer. It really didn't help that the old lady taught them all about Psychology - his major, and favorite subject - and that she speaks as if she wants to spit, _and_she pronouces his name wrong.

Heard that earlier? _Jagarjaks?_

_Like what the fuck is that? I know that she's fucking deaf, but she's blind, too? It's __**Jeagerjacques!**_

She also hated his guts. It was the perception that everyone that looked, dressed, and talked the way Grimmjow did was a 'bad person' - like the time when Ichigo greeted her in passing, and she snubbed him instantly because he had orange hair and hung out with him. He doesn't even have classes with her.

Like seriously.

Talk about narrow-minded.

Ishida, on the other hand, was her favorite student. Always on time, always prim and proper, always the model student, _Uryuu Ishida. _Grimmjow snorted, making faces at the back of said detective's head. He didn't even know why the man took Psychology.

At least the old lady marked fair. As much as she hated Grimmjow, she had to grudgingly admit that he got the best scores, rivalling even Ishida's scores most of the time.

Whatever, he wasn't going to think about this any longer. He had an assignment to do. Grimmjow stared thoughtfully at his paper for a minute longer, before his words came out in smooth, elegant handwriting.

Well, that was just Orihime's kind way of describing his scrawl.

-

_Half an hour earlier_

An hour into his questioning and Ulquiorra was already ready to take the next guy who wouldn't give him a straight answer - throw him out the window. One word of this 'Grimmjow Jeagerjacques' and they were already set to calling him a lunatic for even searching him out.

He was reminded again and again on why he called everyday people _trash._

_Deal with the people-trash. Deal with the people-trash. It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it._

Or at least, that was what he kept telling himself, when he wasn't seething at everything and everyone who came into a one feet radius of him. 'Fuck off' was already at the tip of his tongue.

He was in the heart of the Karakura University campus - and was already getting sick of it. He wanted to be in the briefing room back in Arrancar headquarters, scaring newbies into submission, or at least the workplace. Somehow he had the feeling that Gin schemed silently for him to get a leave - for god knows what reason. Probably amusement. The man did get bored easily.

"Dude, hey, dude." Ulquiorra pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned mechanically, looking at the man who greeted him. "I've got, like, a question. Are your eyes, like, all natural, or are you using like, contacts? 'Cause if you're using contacts, I so totally need that color, can you tell me where you get them?"

Ulquiorra didn't want to know where he picked up that style of speech. He backed away slightly when the male popped a bubble gum, smacking his lips together as he waited for an answer.

"Yo, dude, you daydreaming?"

"It's natural," Ulquiorra replied curtly, face impassive but in actuality he was _thisclose_ to running away for his life. Possibly.

He didn't even know why he was here.

_Other than the fact that you need to get that Grimmjow's memory card, break it into a million pieces, erase the evidence that you lost your control, and beat him into a pulp because he defied you in the first place, because nobody walks away from Ulquiorra unscathed?_

Oh, right. For his pride, after all. The embarassment would be too great to stand, and his trainees wouldn't take him seriously. And he had the free time, so why not? He wanted a rematch, anyway, he never met his match before in terms of fighting skills.

_I like to call it ego._

_Silence, self._

His attention was back on the male _thing_, who was already talking all speedy-like and in that - that - teenager voice that he wanted to strangle the hell out of.

" - too bad, 'cause I really wanted some. Hey, hey, dude. You lookin' for someone? I mean, I was just like, lookin' at you asking everybody and they're all, like, staying away from you, yanno?"

It took a while for Ulquiorra to process the information.

Well.

"I'm looking for a 'Grimmjow Jeagerjacques'. Do you know him?" Ulquiorra asked boredly, ready for the inevitable -

That didn't come. The man snorted, shrugging his backpack and adjusting it.

"Oh, pshaw, _everybody_ knows Grimmjow. I think that's why they're all stayin' away from you, 'cause like, Grimmjow's kinda infamous in the campus."

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. _I noticed, after the 20th time they went all shifty-eyed and muttering 'you're crazy' under their breaths._

The male continued without a care in the world.

"Like only the most hot-tempered guy around, all psychotic and shit. You can't get that close to him or he'll blow his top, but he usually hangs out with Ichigo's group. Ichigo's not here today though, he's got the same lessons as me and there's no Lit today. I'm only here for a couple of friends."

"Do you mind showing me where he is?" Ulquiorra asked as politely as he could possibly get, minus the tinge of distaste running through his words, but the student just smiled quick.

"Yeah, like, sure man. Whatever. He takes, er, Psychology if I'm not wrong, and it's kinda Psych at the moment. He'll probably come outta the faculty building in half and hour or so." The male pointed at a building behind Ulquiorra, to the west, and grinned. "Not too hard."

"Thank you."

"Welcome, always happy to help. So, er... You know anywhere that I can buy contacts those color?"

"It's_natural._"

"Aww, man."

-

The next half-hour saw Grimmjow adjusting his shades as he was the first one to exit the Psychology lecture hall - as always. He didn't really like dealing with people all that well, and he didn't want to stay in the same room as that bitch, so it was a win-win situation for all parties. End discussion.

He wasn't even three steps out of the building when someone grabbed his jacket and turned him around suddenly. Grimmjow caught the fists before they could do any real damage, but they stuck like glue to his clothes.

The startingly green eyes pierced through him and he narrowed his eyes. "You again!"

Everyone around them stared. It wasn't everyday that they could see a stranger walk up to Grimmjow and suddenly grab him by the shirt threateningly. It wasn't everyday either that you saw Grimmjow wait for any response. The blue-haired man usually sent attackers down the dumpster before you could even say 'ughbla'.

"Come with me," was all the green-eyed man said, narrowing his eyes as well. He tugged the blue-haired man but it was a force against an Immovable Object.

"What the hell do you want?" Grimmjow took the conversation to the sky, blowing apart all sense of sanity. He grinned suggestively, with a bit of spite. "You missed me, don'tcha? Even after you _broke_ my fucking phone?"

The dark-haired man growled in retaliation, but didn't do anything else. "Come. With. Me. This is a discussion I want with you _alone._"

Grimmjow's smirk/grin/smile/thing widened as he waggled his eyebrows. "What if I don't want to, hmm? What's wrong with here - holy!"

He grabbed the man's incoming foot headed for his head, holding it in place. Said male looked annoyed and ruffled, as if confused, but didn't really question it. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, trenchcoat billiowing in the wind, balancing on one foot. "Come with me, or I'll break your new phone again _and_beat you into a bloody pulp."

Grimmjow blissfully missed that part about the new phone, or he would've been squawking 'Have you been stalking me!?' or something to that effect.

Instead, he looked thoughtful as he considered the green-eyed man. The moves he's seen so far obviously didn't take that much effort from the man to do, so he had some bit of formidable skill. And obviously, he'd come all the way from _Whateverland_ to look out for him, so he couldn't really refuse him, now could he?

But first.

"Fine, I'll come. But," Grimmjow smirked, as the man went even more annoyed by him by the passing second, "I want a name. It's gettin' kinda annoying callin' you 'man' or 'dude' in my head."

The man cocked an eyebrow, but sighed anyway.

"You're insufferable. My name is Eru Roraito."

"Ah-ah!" Grimmjow shook his finger and his head. "No fake names. You know how to find me, you know who I am - and I want honesty from you, young man. And really," Grimmjow looked at him with a 'You Are Stupid' look which bristled the man, "Eru Roraito is a fictional character."

Grimmjow could see him curse inwardly, and smirked. With an effort, the man gritted his teeth and ground out his name.

"Ulquiorra Schiffer."

-

_I guess he's not as stupid as he looks like it. He takes Psychology, after all._

_Is there any way of bribing you to silence?_

_Nah. You don't take bribes, remember?_

Grimmjow was the one taking the lead this time, and Ulquiorra felt disconcerted when he did. He was used to the one leading, not following - the only other time when he felt comfortable not holding the helm was when it was Aizen-sama. Gin was only so-so, and he didn't like talking about the others.

Still, he tried to keep a straight face as everyone started looking at their direction, and he dodged curious glances. He shouldn't have gone into panic mode and picked out the immediate name that came into his head, or neither should he give out his full name. _Eru Roraito. _He didn't expect the man to know of the characters in the books he read. Now the blue-haired man and him were even.

They were at the back of a building when Grimmjow finally stopped, letting go of Ulquiorra's hand. He felt his wrist lightly, a bit cautious at the treatment. He was rough.

"Ulquiorra, huh?" Grimmjow gave a gauging look, sizing him up, before his lips quirked in a smirk. "So then - talk."

Ulquiorra didn't growl, but certainly felt like it.

"I want that memory card perished."

Grimmjow gave no indication that he didn't know what the green-eyed man was talking about. He shrugged, taking out a slim, small black card that he threw. Ulquiorra caught it easily, blinking.

_What?_

"There you go. Jeez, I didn't really expect you to go all the way just for a stupid mem card. I got a better one anyway."

"You didn't copy it."

"Nope," Grimmjow recited.

_This is too quick, too underhanded. _Ulquiorra gave a suspicious look, frowning. "The catch?"

"What catch?" Grimmjow asked, confused, before the look disappeared. He chuckled. "Man, just like Ichigo - paranoid. Nah, I just want you to get off my back. I figured you'd come looking for me after that episode in the hypermarket. But if you insist..." He grinned disarmingly, eyes narrowed. The light in them shifted into another mood, another thought. "Give me a good fight, then I'll call it even."

Ulquiorra paused. Not that he wouldn't take up the offer, but it was just too... Easy.

"That's all?" he asked cautiously. Grimmjow shrugged.

"Yeah. You're real good, that I can tell. I haven't had a good fight in_days, _ever since Ichigo's gotten all smitten over some dude. That, and you want a few punches in. C'mon, it's not hard."

Ulquiorra sighed. _Amateur. _He was willing to believe that this person-trash wasn't as bloodthirsty as he looked like, but then he was wrong. A shame. At the immediate, next second, there wasn't any other move except the shift of the air that warned Grimmjow of an incoming strike.

At that he dodged, doing a simultaneous sweep. Ulquiorra jumped back and charged, fists flying. Grimmjow blocked and dodged them easily, countering quick and hard.

And of all the times, Grimmjow felt right to start a conversation.

"Why're you so tetchy over that video, anyway?"

Ulquiorra made a quick roll to the side, where his head would've been kicked by Grimmjow, who sprang, charging towards the black haired man again. Said man scoffed.

"My pride."

"Man, that is such a lame reason."

"My current line of profession requires immense self-control, which I did not seem to have in that video," Ulquiorra elaborated, frowning when his kick missed. Grimmjow flipped himself over with a hand, running the other through his hair at a split-second pause, before getting back into the fray.

"So, in other words, it'll be disgraceful and shit."

"You aren't as stupid as I thought."

"I fucking take Psychology, man. I'm a stupid fucktard, but not in that."

"Hmm. True words from a bloodthirsty man, eh?"

"Fuck you, Ulqui - was it? Whatever - fuck you."

"Do_not _call me Ulqui, or I will resort to calling you _Jagarjak._" Which he probably wouldn't. Ulquiorra was a man of... Not so many things, but he wasn't childish.

At least, that's what he thought he was.

"You go over that line, punk, and I'mma beat your head in till you can't think anymore."

After a few seconds, their fists met in the middle - the force alone making the grass below them shift, move, wind billowing past them. The ground cracked slightly. Grimmjow grinned maniacally as they jumped away, getting into fighting stance. Ulquiorra had his hands in his pockets while Grimmjow wasn't too unlike in there either, body ready for any movement from either side.

For the first time in years, Ulquiorra ran a thumb across his chin and quirked something resembling what shouldn't be a smile - but it was. Something like that, anyway, because Ulquiorra looked like he hadn't smiled in years. Grimmjow grinned in triumph, feeling the adrenaline pump into his system.

Time to get serious.

-

_I think you like him._

_I think you need to shut up and get yourself a life._

_True words, especially coming from a man talking to himself._

_Shut up._

_You want him as a rival. He's definitely a sexy rival._

_I hate you._

_I love me too._

-

_Underhanded tactics to catch cakes in floating doughnuts,_

_For the children and the slime monster._

_­-_

_While Greeny and Bluey were enjoying themselves, and 43 shopping bags later_

Ichigo groaned pathetically, sniffing. He rolled to the side when Orihime tried cheering him up with a soda. It just didn't work, no. Nothing could rise him up, now. He was lost, in a world, full of paper and shoes and god-knows-how many shirts of the same color. _They were in season! _was what Rangiku said repeatedly, if Ichigo remembered correctly.

Now he was currently beside the largest mountain of bags he'd ever seen, as Rangiku went off to check out the west wing of the building. _Yes._The torture was only restricted to the east wing, and now that Gin was here, she wanted a spin on the other side too.

Unlike him, Rangiku was the type who didn't really seem to care if her money was going to the dumps or not. Must be the perks of having a rich boyfriend. He gauged Gin before - the cashmere trenchcoat wasn't out of sights that easily.

Oh, well. They were authentic enough - nobody could really recreate the loving scene they had with each other. Whatever it was, it was getting Orihime 'in the mood' and he didn't really want to deal with that. He knew that the girl had a crush on him, but he wasn't in like with her. That was the reason why she stayed behind anyway, to take care of Ichigo.

Earlier, when out of hearing range of Orihime, Rangiku said something about '_she'll be crushed if she finds out'_ that the '_love of her life_' was already _'smitten with someone else_'. Of course, Ichigo refrained the urge to strangle her. He appreciated living, and didn't want to die a la enraged silver-haired high-ranking Arrancar boyfriend.

Gin tilted his head curiously, though, at that information. Ichigo couldn't help but think that Gin had something to do with all of_this. _Strange.

Ichigo was at the center court, guarding Rangiku's treasures from getting nipped by itchy hands. He 'shoo'ed anyone who got too close, while Orihime did the same.

"This is really tiring work, Ichigo-kun."

"Yep. You know. Blah. Eh."

"You okay, Ichigo-kun?"

_Not really. Give me some chocolate._

"Yeah, I'll be fine. My hands all hurt from carrying those bags, you know."

"Sorry, Ichigo-kun."

"Kurosaki?"

Ichigo's eyes widened at the sound of that voice. _No way no way nowaynoway. _He looked up, trying not to hope, but hoping anyway.

He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "Yo, Hiroshi!"

Aizen quirked a brow, looking curiously at their mountain of bags. "Strange that I'll be meeting you here. Nice to see you again, nonetheless." He smirked at the bags. "Shopping?

He was hot. Yeah. As usual, with the mussed hair and those chocolate eyes. In the whole high-class type of clothes, with a trenchcoat and looking all elegant and formal and drool-worthy. He didn't really know how to describe clothes and stuff, but he just looked _fine._Ichigo wiped the edge of his lips to check, sighing in relief.

Man, his friend was easy on the eyes. "Just guarding a couple of stuff for my friend. She likes to shop, you know?"

"I see. And who's this?"

"Orihime Inoue, one of my good friends," he said cheerfully, and Orihime looked at Aizen, gauging.

She frowned slightly, unnoticed by both of the men, before she waved, smiling.

"Hi, who are you?"

"Oh - yeah. Orihime, meet Hiroshi Aizen. We met a couple of days back."

Unnoticable to Ichigo, the instinct of protecting what was theirs were already coursing through Orihime's and Aizen's veins. Both of them stared at each other, sizing each one up, as if having a mental conversation with each other - a debate, time to conquer.

_I know him longer._

_And I know him for a shorter time. He already likes me._

_At least I know what he likes and what he doesn't._

_I do too, you silly girl._

_He's mine!_

_He's mine. Now scram._

_No! I will not let you have him! You're just an old man anyway!_

_And you're just a girl who can't give him what he wants._

_That's not true!_

_And I'm very much not old. It's only a few years apart. Try some better insults, girl._

_I should ask you to do the same._

Ichigo stared at both of them, before frowning. Orihime looked out of it, as if she was... She was entranced by the older man. Well, that wasn't really hard, considering that _it was Aizen, _but on the other hand, Aizen was doing the same thing. Ichigo sucked in a breath, eyes widening in alarm.

_NO!_

"Are you two okay?" He asked, trying to to let the panic seep into his voice. Aizen smiled charmingly at first, and Ichigo blinked, trying to scramble for a hold on his scattering thoughts.

_I really wish he'd stop that, but then again..._

"Yes. I was just lost in thought, that's all."

"Likewise, Ichigo-_kun,_" Orihime emphasised, shooting a look at Aizen.

Ichigo looked lost. Before he could do anything, though, Rangiku hugged him from behind, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're such a darling, Strawberry! Thanks for watching over my bags. You too, Princess!"

"Ichimaru?" Aizen asked questioningly, raising a brow. The silver-haired man grinned disarmingly, coming from behind Rangiku.

"Hiroshi, there you are. I didn't expect you here so early."

Ichigo blinked. Wow, small world.

"Wait, so you two know each other?" Ichigo asked curiously, tilting his head in confusion. Aizen chuckled.

"Yes. We were meeting up for a discussion, and he told me to wait in the Centre Court, before I saw you. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I'm helping Rangiku shop," Ichigo replied honestly, shooting a look at Ran who grinned, waving. _Dragged along, more like it. _"I was taking care of the bags. Orihime wanted to tag along, and you know..."

"Oh."

Gin grinned widely, but Ran was the one who voiced his thoughts. "You two know each other?"

"Yeah. Met up in a restaurant a few days back."

Rangiku squealed, pinching Ichigo's cheeks as she squashed his face into her Grande Boobs. "I'm so proud of you! You're meeting people!"

"What the hell!? I _do _meet people, Ran!"

Ran ignored him.

"Always the shy boy, my Strawberry. And now you're getting out more! This is great news! Ohoho!"

While Orihime was asking Rangiku to stop shaking the boy around so much (_please_), Gin and Aizen were in the background, looking at the scene with barely hidden amusement.

"He's an interesting kid, that's for sure."

Aizen hummed tunelessly, eyes flashing at the sight of the girl.

"She needs to get out of the way?" Gin guessed correctly, while Aizen placed his hands in his pockets to take out a pair of shades, slipping them on. He will play the role of the _Rich Bastard _correctly. "But '_Ichigo-kun_' doesn't even like her in that way. A good friend."

"Of course. She's still a hindrance."

"You have _plans,_ now, Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, while flipping his phone on, already calling some of his cronies.

"Hush, they can hear you." But Aizen looked amused all the same, already having that look where he was calculating everything, getting a hold of the real situation. Gin always admired that trait in his boss, and wanted to try it, but usually couldn't get it right. Ah, well.

"And Hiroshi's an interesting name." Gin's voice changed to a bit of degrading, sarcasm lacing his words in places as he talked into his phone. "Get here quick, you morons. C'mon, not that hard. I'm not gonna wait for more than two minutes." Then he flipped the phone, putting it away as he looked at Aizen. "So, where'd you get it?"

"Around. He's turning blue."

"Nice. Ran, stop strangling the poor boy."

"Okay!" she said brightly, smiling. Ichigo gasped for air, coughing. He shot a grateful look at the silver-haired man, who in return, shot him an unchanging grin.

"So, then. I guess that's all for today. Come on Ran, we gotta pick up Kira; I'll get my guys to pick up this stuff later," Gin said. All of them blinked. Ichigo was the one who spoke first.

_Smart boy, taking the lead._

"You said you're supposed to meet each other?"

"We're meetin' each other. See?" Gin pointed at himself then at Aizen, who rolled his eyes discreetly. "Just passin' some info. So anyway, like I said, Ran, wanna jet?"

"Kira, was it? Where is he?"

"Like a lost puppy again." The light in his barely visible eyes shifted, so did his tone of voice, from exasperated to affectionate. Ichigo envied Kira. "Somewhere near uptown."

"Aw, cute. Well Ichigo, see ya!" Ran gave two sloppy kisses on either side of Ichigo's cheeks, and he laughed anyway, rubbing the sides of his faces.

"Ew, what the hell? No problem, Ran. See you later."

Orihime glanced at the sudden appearance of five men or so in black suits and glasses, who were busying themselves by dismantling the mountain of bags she and Ichigo guarded earlier. She backed away slowly.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was used to the sight. Of course he hadn't met the boyfriend personally before, but he knew that Gin had a few people in his disposal to help Ran get the goods back to the mansion where they lived.

"Ichigo-kun, Rangiku-kun, Ichimaru-san, I gotta go," Orihime said apologetically, shooting another glance at Aizen, before it scuttled away. "I'm meeting up with Tatsuki-chan, so I'll see you later, okay?" she asked cheerfully, and Ichigo grinned.

"Yeah, sure! I'll see you later!"

"All right, Princess! Take care of yourself!"

She glanced another look at Aizen. How curious. "Nice to meet you, Hiroshi-san."

"Likewise."

He looked away, blinking at Aizen who was right beside him. The orange-haired man looked up curiously as Orihime walked away.

"Used to it, then?" Aizen asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What, the whole people coming in and taking their bags? 'Course." He laughed, rubbing the back of his head as he waved to the retreating brown haired woman and her silver-haired partner, the men in black trailing behind them, quick and silent in their movements. "I go shopping with Ran a lot, but I never really met the Ichimaru dude in person. You guys are good friends?"

"Yes, if you could call meddling in my life a quality of a good friend."

"Of course it is. Kiddin'." Ichigo placed his hands at the back of his head, tilting his head. "So, what're you gonna do now?"

"I'm on leave." Aizen shrugged when Ichigo blinked.

"That's interesting. You're not the type to take leave often, do you?"

_Do I have a sign on my head, or maybe words on my face that says that?_

"Whatever gave that away?" Aizen asked sarcastically, and Ichigo's lips quirked.

"Man, you need to get out more often." _Deja vu. _"Come on, I'll show you around. Wanna get ice cream?"

"Chocolate ice cream?" Aizen remembered the last time he was together with Ichigo. "Exploiting my wealth, then?"

The way Ichigo turned pink was definitely interesting.

"Nah, I don't like chocolates for ice cream. They can never get the taste right. I want vanilla. Oh, can we get Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough? I love that flavor! I'll show you this really cool place where they have the most _awesomest_ice cream ever," Ichigo said, wincing slightly when he sounded like a kid. But whatever.

Aizen shook his head, chuckling as Ichigo grabbed his sleeve, dragging him away.

"I do believe 'most awesomest' is grammatically incorrect."

"My vocabulary says otherwise, good sir," Ichigo spoke, accenting his words heavily, which made Aizen scoff.

"Where are we going? I get a driver to pull up and take us there."

Ichigo blinked, before smiling mischeviously.

"Nice offer, but I do insist that you walk. You get to taste the fresh air better."

This was the city. The contradiction was enough to make Aizen chuckle a second time, but for once, he humored the boy as he pulled him through the streets of ordinary people, throngs of men and women making their way through the busy streets of Karakura City. He had forgotten the taste.

The boy didn't fail to amuse him, that was for sure. When Ichigo grinned at him, pulling at a nondescript shop, he decided that it was good.

_-_

_Chapter Five End._

_-_

_-_

A/N: Ulqui's quirk - talking to himself, yes. XD I can't help it. I'm sorry.

Eru Roraito is a reference to Deathnote - L's real name is L Lawliet, pronounced 'lowlight'. In Japanese, it is spelt 'Eru Roraito'. They silence the 'u' at the end of 'Eru' and the 'o' at the end of 'Roraito', and 'r's are used to substitute the 'L's. Just some random facts. L looks like Ulquiorra, did you know that? xD; So awesome.

Aizen and Ichigo are seriously, complete contrast to Ulqui and Grimmy. Oh, well. D:

5500 words! A thousand words longer than usual chapters. Wow. Oh well, this'll give me some room to slack for the next chapter. Lol, just kidding.

Well, have a nice day :D


	6. Stalkers of the Sleight of Hand

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Con artists on a holiday, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and men in clogs - while avoiding being caught, of course. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: I was in a pretty bad slump. (Pretty bad? PRETTY BAD? YEAH RIGHT) Hopefully it's gone... For now. o.o Dun dun dun.

I decided to change thieves to con artists. They con people more than they take up high-tech gadgets to steal o.o

Review Response:

_Htaed is Death backwards:_ Yes, I do realize! :D There is a reason why his name is Aizen Hiroshi at the moment! :3

Enjoy! :D Read and review, please!

xoxox

xoxox

The first time Grimmjow asked him if he believed in soulmates, Ichigo was trying to spray graffiti on the wall.

He sputtered and let go of the can, half of his hand covered with quickly drying orange paint. "What the heck, Grimm?"

The blue-haired man only shrugged at Ichigo's reaction, and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. Ichigo quickly deduced the origins of that mysterious question, coming up to one final conclusion.

"You got dumped again."

It wasn't meant to be callous, really. He was grateful that Grimmjow knew that better than anybody else.

"Way to go, Captain Obvious."

"How's she like?"

"She was definitely an eight out of ten. Don't know. Really thought she'd not be like..."

The silence that fell soothed them.

"Eh, you'll find someone soon enough," Ichigo said, in a tone that was not meant to be comforting, because they were grown adults now, and Grimmjow didn't need the pity.

Aforementioned man simply looked up into the quickly darkening sky, grimacing.

"La loo fuckin' da."

"Yeah, I do."

"Huh?"

"The answer to your question," Ichigo said quietly, the sound of the clacking of spray paint cans and the wind audible to both of them. "Yeah, I do believe in soulmates."

"That's so fuckin' sappy it's not even funny."

"Well it's your problem for askin' in the first place, jackass."

And that's how Ichigo Kurosaki found out that Grimmjow Jeagerjacques didn't have someone to lean on except him, and Grimmjow discovered that Ichigo was a hopeless romantic and a sappy fuck.

xoxox

xoxox

_6_

_Stalkers of the Sleight of Hand_

xoxox

xoxox

_"Ahaha, my precious! Let us go to the see-saw!"_

_"Of course, Ulquiorra! Oh, you are so sweet!"_

_"Ahaha!"_

_"Ahaha!"_

_"Ahah -"_

Ulquiorra woke up, eyes squinted into an inch, somewhat horrified.

_... I refuse to acknowledge that - oh wait, damn._

At a rare show of emotion, he snarled and got out of the bed. He never really had any problems with sleeping, but the waking up just made him downright pissed. He _hated_ waking up.It was just something that he could never get used to - that's why he took as little rest as possible. Awake was nice. Sleeping, and with those horrible dreams, _then _waking up - is definitely a no-no.

Ulquiorra slammed open his closet doors and stomped inside, absolutely seething. He grabbed a slim, long object from inside the area, and started walking towards his balcony.

Pointing his rifle at the sky, he started shooting.

_**BAM! BAMBAMBAM! CAW! BAMBAM!**_

"Aaaaah!"

"Oh my god, a lunatic!"

"Oh my god, fuck, that bird's dead!"

"Someone call the cops!"

Ulquiorra sneered at the trash below_, _who were screaming for their lives, running around in stupid circles. What he wouldn't do to shoot a hole through one of them - well, he knew that the authority figures won't do a thing to him - for one, they knew that he did that to calm himself down, and it was such a normal occurence that the residents around the area never really bothered. After a long while.

And after Ulquiorra showed what he could do to their property, and get away with it.

_Damn trash._

He threw his rifle onto the couch, and soon slipped into his cool facade, already getting ready for the day to come.

Once he was fully dressed -

"I have no work today."

- he just realized it. Looking down at himself, he grimaced at the formal clothes. There were social standards, but he hated to follow them - still. Wasn't there some sort of dress code for holiday? Something casual?

Ulquiorra looked down at himself again.

_Damn society._

Then he shrugged out of his clothes, and put in some slacks and long sleeved black buttoned-up shirt._ Suitably semi-formal. _He ran a hand through his drying hair, and paused.

Yesterday, even though he loathed to admit it - was actually a rather fun experience he wouldn't mind repeating again. Grimmjow was an extremely adept fighter, and Ulquiorra liked the challenge he posed. So far, it was still a tie between two of them - after they _accidentally_ damaged a car in their fight, they had to split.

Right, so on the agenda today was an unfinished fight. Things were looking up to be well... So far.

As he walked out of his apartment, he firmly told himself that he wasn't obsessed. He just didn't like unfinished business. He wasn't some maniac who left notes behind everywhere and leaving strange, breathy voice messages, in horribly bad English a la Some European Accent saying 'You I stalk am'.

Then his Evil Half just had to break out the dictionary definitions.

_Obsession: A person or thing that somebody thinks about too much._

_... Damn you._

xoxox

"So, got any new digs on the new mark?"

"Well, not really. I'm still working on it."

"You must be getting real rusty if it's taking you a day -"

"Well the clog-man's gonna kill us if he found out we're still tryin' to con people; I gotta be real careful, you know."

"True," Ichigo conceeded, nodding absently at the blank wall in front of them while Grimmjow threw another finished can of Coke towards the structure. He was bored but wasn't really all that interested in tagging the walls at the moment, so he needed something else to distract him. Grimmjow suggested a simple con, so Ichigo agreed.

Still, that was yesterday. Grimmjow must be getting out of practice if he's taking so long to find a worthy victim. They were currently wasting away at the roof of a random building in the middle of Karakura.

"Aw, you're daydreamin'," the blue-haired man said suddenly, and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Just thinking about you."

"Flattered, really, but I'm not all that into you," Grimmjow replied, dashing his words with an accent and Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it sounded.

"Shut up, you vain shit. But seriously though, Grimmy. I'm bored shit-ass."

"You ain't the only one..."

"By the way, how's the heat coming along?"

"Dying down, remember?" Grimmjow ran a thumb across his lips, deep in thought. "Well, Pansy's giving me a hard time. He's been giving me the usual creepy stares, but as usual, can't prove it. Funnily enough, it's not even for the Kuroyagi crap - but for my other pet projects."

Pansy was the nickname Grimmjow decided for poor Ishida after finding out about his little hobby.

"... Pet projects?"

"Well, I did destroy that one section of the car when -"

"Grimm, what the fuck!?"

"Hey, hey, I was in a fight with this crazy son of a bitch. He was awesome, had these sweet moves, and seriously - he can beat me in a serious fight," Grimmjow said excitedly, grinning. Ichigo stared.

"... I'm happy that you're happy?" Ichigo said, but he wasn't too sure himself. Grimmjow just shrugged though.

"Yeah, pretty weird, isn't it? But it's cool. I mean, I got his real name and all. Didn't look local, too, somethin' like me," he said offhandedly, frowning.

"You're in love," Ichigo dead-panned, but Grimmjow snorted.

"You're just jealous, but you really shouldn't be. Where's your boyfriend?"

"He ain't my fucking boyfriend, you dumbfuck."

"Could say otherwise, by the way he makes ya blush," Grimmjow teased, ducking from Ichigo's stray punch. Suddenly he blinked. "I think I got a new mark - ow, shit!" He rubbed his shoulder at the impact. Ichigo flexed his fingers, cocking an eyebrow.

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"Believe what you like, and c'mon - I think we gotta move if you wanna catch him in the act. Now, got a camera?"

"Camera... Eh, blackmail?" Ichigo asked, getting up from his seat anyway. He hummed thoughtfully, eyebrows furrowed. "I haven't done that in weeks as a base for a conning..."

Grimmjow shrugged as Ichigo stretched his limbs, already heading for the fire escape.

"Well, not exactly - it's something more elaborate... So, got that camera?"

"A camera-phone good enough?"

"Yep. Now let's roll," Grimmjow said, pulling his hood down and slipping on his favourite pair of shades.

xoxox

"Aizen-sama." The tone held a calculative slant to it, with a threat behind.

Really, if Gin wasn't his right-hand man... Still, it reminded him time and time again that Gin had almost no fear.

"Gin," Aizen acknowledged, papers in his hand as he strode into the 87th floor of the Sousuke Corporation. The only way to get to his office was through this floor, then another flight of stairs. Gin trailed behind him like a lost puppy as they passed by executives and their assistants who greeted both of them with honorifics. The perfect, pristine image of a shining, well-off company.

"I thought you were supposed to take a break...?" Gin asked disarmingly, with a charming grin.

Aizen returned it full force.

"Why, yes. That's why I've come to bring my papers down for a well-deserved rest," he said offhandedly, reaching for a cup of his own personal beverage.

Everyone in the vicinity sputtered their coffee out, some of them burning their tongues while the paper boys slipped on some unknown object. The sheets of paper flew and some 'WHAT's rang throughout the hallways. Time stopped for a second.

_Aizen-shacho is taking a break!?_

_Is the sky green!?_

_MY PRECIOUS PAPERS!_

_Are pigs flying?_

_Oh my god, he's so hot._

"Well then. I just dropped by to make the announcement, and to pick up some things from my office. Gin, I trust you'll see to everything," Aizen said nonchalantly, as he smirked and walked off.

Gin paused.

Then he turned slowly towards his cronies, smiling manically.

The members of the Sousuke Corporation felt a foreboding sense of eminent doom looming over them as Ichimaru Gin leaned over everyone and, while grinning, brandished his silver tongue.

"Now, now, my little piggies..."

Aizen simply chuckled amusedly. Yes, Gin _will_ see to every single detail.

xoxox

"But it's alright sir, really! I mean, we can always bring it up to the newspaper."

"I have a lovely contact in there that would absolutely _love _to hear about your escapades in the more shady parts of the city."

"And trading kisses and _'romantic' _hugs with your beloved. Who isn't even your wife!"

"Such bad behavior. The girl's only sixteen. What _have_ you been filling her head with?"

"Shh!" The previously calm, composed and cool as a cucumber young man - with that glint of arrogance and pride only a spoiled son of a wealthy family could achieve - was now darting his eyes wildly around the corner, as if he knew that his wife would suddenly come out to him and start beating him up to an inch of his life. "She can hear you!"

"You must be delusional. Poor man."

"Absolutely."

"But she can! And what do I do to deserve this? I was playing around with the kid!"

"Back to kid, then? Given that she looks only sixteen... Ah, teenage love."

"Not the love of your life?"

"Oh, she'll be so heartbroken. But not before we tell your wife!"

"Who are you two!?"

The two strangers looked indignant as he asked that question. They looked strange in their hooded coats and gloves. Then one of them sniffed in disdain.

"Sir, we're the good of mankind. What's left of the sodding, rotten place anyway."

"Back to the deal - a few grand would be nice. Not much of a burn in your pocket, is it?" The hooded man leaned over his victim, and grinned. "Just that and we won't tell your wife anything about your 'sweetheart'."

The man shuddered.

"Okay, okay!" As expected from a well-off man, he immediately took out a few couple of large banknotes from his wallet and shoved them into their hands. "Give me those pictures!"

"Oh, sure." The first man threw him the envelopes filled with photos and started walking away. "We don't need them anymore anyway."

"See you!"

Grimmjow counted the notes in his hands as he walked off, before chuckling. "He fell right for it!"

"Man, I hate it when I have to change my voice and all," Ichigo mumbled, lips twitching. Grimmjow smiled as charmingly as he could.

"Why, I rather like it, myself."

Which just clashed. Ichigo shuddered. "Goddamn it, Grimmjow," he said, backing away from the maniacally laughing man. "How did you know, anyway, 'bout that guy?"

"Oh, the wife's a friend of a friend of mine," he said vaguely, waving a hand to the side, "She's been really suspicious. Gave me some details but I didn't have time to check it out - and whatd'you know, she's right! Her hubby's playin', yo. That reminds me - I gotta do my part as a tattletale."

"You do that."

It was a short one. Like a lost and found situation. They took some pictures but Grimmjow didn't go immediately off to develop them. Instead, he produced an empty envelope out of nowhere and stuffed it with newspaper. Grimmjow had the images transferred to his own phone.

After that, they caught up with the man while he walked out of the 'shady areas of Karakura' (which was absolute bull, the place was quite nice, but the guy fell for it anyway) and started assaulting him. Grimmjow took over most of the conversation, and Ichigo had to constantly improvise.

But it was good practice. All in all, they lost nothing and gained some extra pocket money. Life was good.

Still, why the hell did Grimmjow wanted the pictures?

"Yo, Terahara-san! Yep. I've confirmed it. I even got pictures! I'm sending it to you right now. Yep, you can smack him all you want, all night long."

"_**I KNEW IT! That good-for-nothing for a husband -"**_

Grimmjow flipped the phone off, and winced at his ringing ears.

"Someone's gonna get lucky tonight," Ichigo mused wisely, and Grimmjow stared.

"... Hot damn."

"Those two! They _conned _me!" A voice hysterically shrieked, and Ichigo and Grimmjow both turned to see the man running at them, pointing wildly. A few men were behind him. They immediately started running.

"Shit!"

"Lucky we have these hoods on, yeah!?"

"Well fuck that! Catch you later!"

"I'mma keep the bucks -" Grimmjow slammed onto a man, but didn't really look. "Ow, shit, sorry man!" Ichigo laughed.

"Give me at least half, you moron!"

"No can do!" Grimmjow leaped over a couple sitting on a bench, while Ichigo slid around it seamlessly. "Too fast!"

"Whatever! But if you lose it -"

"My turn to do the dishes!"

"Damn straight!" Ichigo shouted, and they split into the crowd, immediately blending in. The man who was chasing them stopped abruptly and cursed loudly at everything and everyone around him. Today just _wasn't _his day!

His cellphone rang.

Heaving in exhaustion, he snatched it out of his pockets, and looked at the Caller-ID. He groaned.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

His wife's tone held a simpering note to it. "Why, hello, sweetie. You sound tired, are you okay?"

"These guys - followed me, and conned me, Tera!"

"Aw, that's too bad. _**'Cause I know a certain somebody who CHEATS on his WIFE!"**_

Lord, have mercy.

xoxox

During one of the insignificant functions that he was required to attend as the head of the Sousuke Corporation, the host had tried to show off his sport bike collection, one that even he had to be somewhat impressed by.

Then the man tried to commit some asshattery against Aizen that he didn't have much of a hobby. Needless to say, he wasn't amused. He wasn't in a very good mood in the first place, anyway. And if Aizen wasn't amused, Gin wasn't either.

And with some underhanded tricks, things just went smoothly for them for the next few days. Reports of a whole collection stolen filled the headlines. He still had them stored in a warehouse somewhere, in the far reaches of the globe. And the host's prized bike was the one he torched right in front of the man's eyes.

Now, who said he wasn't ruthless?

Well.

Since that fiasco, Gin suggested that he should get a sport bike. For the heck of it - and to show that he did have a hobby. And surprisingly, he liked riding.

But he hadn't done it in a over a year now. The clothes he usually wore - that leather - felt foreign to him and he wanted to scratch that itch that has been _bugging _him for the past few hours. But he wouldn't indulge.

_Itch itch._

His eye twitched.

Aizen straddled the bike easily, and he was already familiarizing himself with the contours of his bike. A sleek model, one that he knew was custom-made just for him. He'd stand nothing but the best, after all.

And when he left his residence, kicking up the gears to the limit, the sense of adrenaline that pumped through his veins - made him feel alive, made him feel the thrill, somewhat different but similar when he was playing cat and mouse games with his rivals.

When he was on the streets, he felt like _Sousuke_ - not Aizen.

Or some bullshit like that, because he wasn't up for any philosophical theories at the moment about his life and the cosmos. Letting a smirk slip into his face, he revved the engine and sped through the streets in the daylight, weaving through the cars skillfully with his gloved hands gripping the handles.

Oh yeah.

But soon enough, it had to end. Even though when on leave - he liked to stick to time, so he turned a corner abruptly and skidded right in front of some passerbys, near the city's central plaza. They either shrieked, or drooled at his vehicle. Aizen got off effortlessly and was about to take off his helmet, before someone crashed onto him.

Of course, he didn't fall over. Aizen was much too high of a man to indulge in those things. Staring disdainfully at the hooded figure below him, he suddenly stared curiously. He looked familiar -

"Hiroshi?"

"Kurosaki?" They asked at about the same time, and Aizen held out a hand for the boy to take. It was courtesy. Ichigo gratefully accepted it, panting, and was a bit disconcerted when Aizen brushed invisible dust on him, slipping by everywhere before resting on Ichigo's hips. The younger man didn't take notice as he tried to even out his breathing. Soon enough, Aizen's hands slipped away - and Ichigo felt something was off, but brushed it aside. "You seem... Exhausted."

"Very helpful input," Ichigo said sarcastically, and looked behind, sighing in relief. Aizen gauged it.

"You're in trouble?"

"More or less." As Ichigo caught his breath, he quirked a small grin. "Well isn't this a coincidence. If I didn't know better, I would've said you were stalking me."

Aizen chuckled. "I certainly do not."

"Didn't say anything," Ichigo replied vaguely, shrugging, then blinked. "Then if you're not stalking me - why the hell are you here, then?"

"Think about it - I'm on leave."

Ichigo looked at the plaza behind them, where throngs of people littered the base area and the surroundings. It was jammed packed. "Right, seeing the sites."

"More or less," Aizen repeated with a teasing tone, smirking. He took off his helmet and Ichigo couldn't help but stare.

_Oh wait. He has a helmet. Motorcycle - motocycle!?_

The thought registered to his mind and he looked around, immediately drooling at the site of Aizen's sport bike.

"I see you've fallen in love with her."

"It's a her?"

"Of course. Kyoka Suigetsu."

"You even named it."

"I grew attached to it."

"Fair enough," Ichigo said lightly, then looked as if he remembered something. He took off his jacket - shivering because of the cold - he started to turn it over inside out. Aizen stared as Ichigo grinned sheepishly. "I don't want to be caught."

Wordlessly, Aizen plucked off the jacket from the man's hands and threw it nonchalantly into the trash can. Ichigo stared, before opening his mouth into a wide gape, gawking.

"Hiroshi, what the fuck!" Granted, he never really liked the jacket, and he could always get another one, but still. "That's totally uncalled for!"

"I'l just get you a new one, then," Aizen smirked, and Ichigo resisted the urge to pout outrageously - but he did, anyway. Aizen just smirked even more. "That won't get you anywhere." Ichigo glared.

"But I'm cold!"

"Here," was all Aizen said before he threw _his _own leather jacket towards Ichigo, and the orange-haired young man barely caught it. "I'm not all that cold anyway."

And Ichigo couldn't help but stare. As in, really stare. Before, he saw Aizen in all of his _Rich Bastard_ glory, with his semi-formal type of wear that was easy on the eyes. This one was way too pleasing - Aizen was decked out in a full leather ensemble - complete with the strap on boots and the gloves - and the helmet.

_Fuck. He's hot._

He resisted the _sudden _urge to drool.

He would've blamed it on poor hormones which never did a thing to him but he outgrew that stage already.

_Damn!_

"T-Thanks," Ichigo stammered lightly, masking it up with a cough and shrugging into the jacket. _Oh shit. It even feels warm. And I can smell him. Oh shit. _Aizen chuckled as if he could hear Ichigo's thoughts, but it was probably written clearly on his face. The man didn't say anything about it, though, and motioned towards his bike.

"Wanna ride?"

_DO I!?_

"Why are you still asking if you already know the answer?" Ichigo asked lightly, before grinning.

Aizen straddled the motorcycle again as he prepared for another round. He'll pick up what he was supposed to - later. Ichigo followed suit, wrapping his arms comfortably around Aizen's waist, funnily enough with an extra helmet on his head. He didn't really know where that came from, but he didn't really care.

_I'm on Hiroshi Aizen's back. I would be saying Ohmigod, right about -_

The engine roared to life and they skidded - going from 0 up to a 60 in less than a few seconds.

_- now._

"Hell fucking YEAH!"

xoxox

xoxox

"Hah! Losers," Grimmjow said, satisfied, as he turned his reversible jacket inside out and started using the other side, with his hood off his time. The fuckers actually ran past him after he made the quick switch. Grinning madly, he patted his pockets. "Time for the spoils - wait."

He patted them again, immediately paling.

"Shit. No, wait - fuck."

He stuffed a hand in them and yes.

Yes.

He was a fucktard.

"Oh, fuck."

He hated the dishes!

Growling, he slammed his hand onto the wall, before looking up at the sound of someone clearing their throat. The snarl intended died on the spot when he looked into glassy green eyes of a man who couldn't get out of his head since yesterday.

Who was holding up the money.

"Wait, what the fuck!? How the hell -"

"You were careless," the man said simply, and Grimmjow realized.

_"Lucky we have these hoods on, yeah!?"_

_"Well fuck that! Catch you later!"_

_"I'mma keep the bucks -" Grimmjow slammed onto a man, but didn't really look. "Ow, shit, sorry man!" Ichigo laughed._

_"Give me at least half, you moron!"_

He shook his head to clear that flashback. The bastard must've taken it when he slammed onto him! That was the only time when he made human contact with anyone else in the past few minutes. Then he stared. Suddenly the prospect of losing his money wasn't as pressing as this. They kept quiet - until Grimmjow stared at him funny, coming to a rather disturbing revelation. Ulquiorra raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Well...?"

"... You aren't stalking me - are you? I mean, you seem to know where to find me every single time -"

"I am _not_ a stalker," Ulquiorra cut off coldly, with narrowed eyes. "I was unwilling to leave that fight unfinished."

"But you still found me. I'm pretty sure that takes some mumbo-jumbo crap found in one of those Stalking Skills -"

"_Jagarjak._"

"Yeah - oi! What the fuck!" Grimmjow snarled, shaking his fist at the mispronouciation. "Say that again, I dare ya!"

Ulquiorra scoffed. "You didn't want to shut up. I resorted to being childish about it. I do not like to lose Grimmjow, so we will -"

"Ulqui."

He choked halfway, mid-sentence, and glared viciously at Grimmjow, who seemed to take it with stride. The man simply grinned. Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes - and at that split second in time, Grimmjow knew that he had to evade the incoming kick. Ulquiorra was already in his usual fighting stance - hands in his pockets, tense shoulders.

Honestly, riling up Ulquiorra was just too fun. He stopped the foot with a hand, and trailed it towards Ulquiorra's body.

The man choked on some imaginary spit when Grimmjow went too close for comfort.

_What is this!_

_Blunt and to the point; I like him._

_Silence, self._

Ulquiorra looked as if he was in a trance as Grimmjow slipped two hands on his shoulders, and dipped his head - as if he was some lover whispering to his beloved's ear. The thought flamed his cheeks - and badly; he felt itchy on his face and the heat was strange. Luckily he chose a secluded spot to make sure that nobody would interrupt them - because he wasn't sure if he could stand for the embarassment.

"Get away from -"

"Ulquiorra..." Grimmjow whispered, hands going lower and lower before Ulquiorra could think of nothing else. _Why why why what what what is he doing this?_ "Do you know... That... You're too -"

Grimmjow snatched the money from Ulquiorra's hands, and stepped away, grinning widely.

" - easy, man. Aw, dude, you fell right for it!"

_WHAT!?_

Ulquiorra could only stare in shock as he registered it in his mind. What was - what was - _OI!_

_He played dirty!_

_That was uncalled for!_

_I like._

_... You're a disgrace of my mind, self._

"That was -" Ulquiorra was cut off as Grimmjow started laughing. "That was uncalled for, Grimmjow!"

"Whatever. And that just _proves _you're a stalker, man."

In this weird day of showing rare bursts of emotion, Ulquiorra immediately charged, holding nothing back - while Grimmjow simply stared as the man snarled, face twisting up into anger. His heart skipped a beat.

_Oh shit. He's fucking cute when he's mad._

_Pay attention, you stupid fucktard!_

_Double fuck he's gonna -_

And Grimmjow's head whipped to the side as an extremely heavy blow landed on the side of his face from his attention-lapse. Immediately he could feel the bruise growing.

_Oh fuck, __**ow!**_

xoxox

While Grimmjow was getting his ass beaten to an inch of his life - in some obscure part of the city, Aizen dipped lower onto the bike as he ripped the asphalt, burning tire marks and generally having the thrill of a lifetime - weaving dangerously through other slower land vehicles, engine roaring at the speed. Ichigo wasn't too far behind at that, screaming loudly like he was in the ride of his life - figuratively and literally.

Then it died down.

_I sound like some bad porn movie star._

Aizen chose not to ask 'why'.

"You're holding fine?"

At that, Ichigo tightened his grip as an answer.

"Fair enough. Got anywhere in mind? I'll drop you off," Aizen shouted through the wind, and Ichigo responded.

"Yeah; the park near Haruno Street or the plaza just now, either way's fine!"

"Good, the park it is then!"

And at said park, Aizen did his earlier trick of skidding as he stopped, and Ichigo gripped tightly onto the man so that he wouldn't get thrown off the bike. He got off steadily - no, wait, shakily. He wanted to kiss the ground, but that's just gross.

Aizen gently plucked off the helmet from his hands, and smirked at Ichigo's expression. "I didn't think you were scared."

"I wasn't!" Ichigo shouted incredulously, still high from the adrenaline. "I'm just - not used to it!"

"Sure you are."

"Whatever," Ichigo muttered petulantly, crossing his arms as his lips upturned into a frown. Then he smiled anyway. "Thanks for the ride."

"You're welcome," Aizen replied politely, amused at the sudden mood swing, but decided not to comment on it.

There was a silence as they fidgeted - well, not really, only Ichigo. Aizen was all _high and up in the sky, _remember?

"So..." Ichigo started, chewing his lower lip in thought, before shrugging.

Aizen coughed slightly, and cleared his throat.

"I'll call you."

Ichigo blinked.

Then he looked again, and blinked again, as his mind upped his daily quota of '_fuck_'s.

_Fuck, I feel warm._

_Fuck, I hope I'm not blushing._

_Fuck, he's smirking._

_Fuck, I must be blushing. Shit. Grimmjow's gonna have a field day when he knows he's right._

"Ergha?" Ichigo asked blankly, unable to comprehend, still.

_How cute. _"I take that as a yes, then." Aizen smiled charmingly, before getting back on his bike and waving a two finger salute. "By the way, do you play tennis?"

Ichigo forcibly kicked his mind back into gear. "Er - a little bit. Never really got to try it... And. Uh."

"That's good." Aizen started the engine again and Ichigo took it as a sign he was about to 'ciao'. As he sped off, suddenly he remembered something.

"You owe me a new jacket!" he hollered violently, almost knocking down a passerby.

Aizen simply waved a hand above his shoulder as a sign of acknowledgement. Ichigo sighed as the man disappeared around a corner, and placed his hands into his pockets, before blinking.

"Does he even have my phone number...?" Ichigo asked, and the question echoed in his mind as he realized something else. His eyes snapped open as he patted his front and back pockets. Where was his phone? It was supposed to be in his pockets - "I could've sworn - no way."

Before, when he slammed into Aizen and he was helped up - the man started to...

_Shit._

Feel him up and...

_Soon enough, Aizen's hands slipped away - and Ichigo felt something was off, but brushed it aside. _

Aizen's smirk flashed in his mind and he growled.

"That bastard!"

xoxox

Aizen reclined on the sofa, suitably satisfied and now ready to go through his spoils.

Ichigo really had good taste. The phone wasn't decorated tackily - the finish was in red, and he rathed liked the color red. Modern, stylish - but easy to handle. Aizen casually browsed through his contacts - the messages would come later.

The same, boring names - but the ones who were nicknamed intrigued him.

_Fucktard  
Grande Cleavage  
Midget  
Old Geezer  
Pineapple  
Pinky  
Princess  
Quincy  
Shiro_

Then amusingly, a text message was set to come. With no qualms on stomping on the pit of 'Privacy', Aizen opened it.

_**From Fucktard (8:12 PM)**_

_Forget about reading my messages, 'cause I already deleted them. Now my roommate's bitchin' at me for losing my phone, now I have to use his. That wasn't very nice; feeling me up like some sick bastard. Give mine back! D:_

_Thanks for the ride again. Pfft._

_By the way, want your jacket back?_

Aizen cancelled out the amusing thought that Ichigo might be sniffing his jacket in the room right about now. He laughed and even though he hated text messaging, he spared the effort. One or two times wouldn't hurt.

And in some other building in a nameless apartment near the park in Haruno Street - Grimmjow's phone beeped merrily.

When Ichigo was startled out of his daze from actually sniffing Aizen's jacket (_Oh my god, his jacket. Fuck, I'm sniffing it. Shit.), _he flipped open the new text message, It didn't even bother him that Grimmjow nicknamed him _Strawberry_ in his contacts list.

_**From Strawberry (8:16 PM)**_

_Keep it. And I'll give your phone back when we meet by chance again, or in some fairytale nonsensical logic, the bullshit one calls as 'fate'._

Ichigo snorted, and replied, before trying to keep the smile off his face and sniffing the jacket some more.

(He did anyway.)

xoxox

_**From Fucktard (8:18 PM)**_

_Stalker._

xoxox

_xoxox_

_Chapter Six End._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

A/N: IT'S FINISHED! I mean, chapter six. Oh my god, I felt as if I was gonna have a heart attack from the slump. x-x;

I'm just glad now I have a reason to crank out the next chapter.

Well, have a nice day! :D


	7. The Meaning of Omg

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Con artists working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: Thank you for the encouraging reviews! :D I'm taking up review replying as my part time job now :3

Review Response:

_tokyo majin_: Ahahaaa, thank you! xD;

_ceres: _XD LOL. I know. ;3

_foxfeather1337: _Ahahaha, thanks! Enjoy this chapter, please! :3

_Stoic-Genius: _Probably the word agenda. Ulquiorra's a prim and proper, orderly kind of dude. xD; Thank you!

_VietShinigami: _I know, I feel guilty for not updating for too long xD;

_Teslyn: _Yes, for the win! Thank you, and you're welcome :3

_Fierygirl0: _Ahahaha, next chapter is here!

_demon ragdoll: _Hehe, thank you! I had that same dream, it was creepy. o.o

_kisalamode: _Well, here's the update! I hope you enjoy. ;x;

_Germanbubbles:_ I love your penname ;x; I don't know. XD And thank you!

Enjoy! :D Read and review, please!

MAJOR FLUFF AND WTFNESS TO COME. D:

xoxox

xoxox

_7_

_The Meaning of Omg_

xoxox

xoxox

"Ichig_ooooooo,_" Grimmjow whined, and here it goes again. "My jaw hurrrrrrts."

"Then stop talking," Ichigo snapped irritably, jamming the cap on his head lower as he flipped the pancakes. Grimmjow has been going on and on _and on _about this green-eyed dude who's stalking him and all, and it's not really making Ichigo any happier.And in the end he gets majorly beaten up. Not his fault, now is it? "It's your fault for picking a fight in the first place."

"But he called me Jagar_jaaaaaaak._"

Ichigo gave him a 'You Are Stupid' look. Grimmjow sniffed again, before turning around, expression wiped of any misery.

"Man, you need to seriously chill. Wasn't it enough I actually lent you my fucking phone?"

"Exactly, Grimm. It's a fucking _phone_. You don't have to be such a baby about it," Ichigo deadpanned, taking out a plate from the shelf and busy arranging said pancakes to perfection. "Now just up and eat."

"Whatever. Not my fault that a certain _somebody _lost their phone while being molested."

"It's not molesting!" Ichigo snapped embarassedly, the word at the end going extremely high-pitched as he turned into thirty different shades of red. Grimmjow grinned. "Can you talk about something _else!_"

"Oh, right, you _let _him. I forgot -"

"_Grimmjow Jeagerjacques!_"

"Heh." Grimmjow grinned cheekily. "You're _so _wanting to get laid, man. By the way..." He looked up at the clock, and blinked. "You're late for class."

"_**SHIT!**_"

xoxox

Grimmjow wiggled his toes in the water. It wasn't often he went to the local pool, because he didn't really like being wet all the time, but sometimes he needed it just to think. Now he was on a float, idly wading around the pool in his dark blue swimming shorts, unwilling to submerge fully.

Because his jaw still _seriously_ hurt. Luckily there was only him around at the hour - he didn't really want to see anyone at the moment who could make fun of him because of that.

Stupid Ulqui. He scowled just thinking about it. Seriously, shit like _this _just doesn't happen in the movies.

_Welcome to reality, daydreamer.You hit on him, what was he supposed to think?_

_That was a joke, I wasn't flirting with him!_

_Or were you? _His mind taunted mercilessly, and Grimmjow scowled some more.

_I wasn't!_

"You look like a sulking child."

"I am _not -_" Grimmjow started to snap, before he whipped his head around and growled. "What the hell are you doing here?! Go away!"

"That proves it. And this is a public area." Ulquiorra stepped into the pool side nonchalantly, placing his duffle bag down at a nearby table. He was wearing swimming shorts - dark green, he noticed, and Grimmjow snorted - and a baggy T-shirt, with flip-flops. He sorely resisted the urge to drool, because this was Ulquiorra, for god's sake, and -

Oh, shit, he was turning around. Oh shit, he was taking his shirt off. Grimm couldn't help but stare.

_He has a cute ass..._

"But seriously, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I _always _go here, I should be asking you _that _question," Ulquiorra said defiantly, giving him a funny look and raising an eyebrow. Well, given that Grimmjow doesn't usually visit the pool often, it was only logical. "Decided to drown yourself in your misery of losing?"

"Shut the fuck up," Grimmjow snarled, pushing his shades down as he rested on the float, head hitting rubber as he floated idly around the water. He heard a sudden splash and decided that Ulqui was already in the pool.

There was an odd sort of silence as Ulqui did his laps and Grimmjow merely floated around aimlessly.

Ulquiorra then surfaced right in between Grimmjow's feet and propped his hands up on the float, raising an eyebrow. "Not gonna swim?"

"What the fuck!" Grimmjow instinctively kicked, eye twitching. Ulquiorra stopped it with a hand, expression unchanging and Grimmjow sighed. "Okay, no, I'm not in the mood for anything. Seriously, just say that you're a stalker and everything will make sense on why we keep on meeting each other like this."

"I am not a stalker."

"That's exactly my point! I don't believe in bullshit like coincidence," Grimmjow retorted, although lazily and without heat. Then he went back to his dozing.

The bruise was highly obvious against the skin of his face and Ulquiorra couldn't help but stare. Grimmjow, on the other hand, who expected something from the man, blinked at the sudden silence, and opened his eyes, finding creepy green eyes staring at him. He stared back warily.

"... What?"

"Does it hurt?"

Grimmjow snorted. "Of course it fucking hurts, you dumbass. That was a stupid question."

"Sorry," Ulquiorra said, but it was unbelievably insincere. "Well..."

"If you're picking another fight with me, forget it."

"I'm not in the mood for any fighting either." Ulquiorra looked at him solemnly. "But I find you interesting. Can we meet up once; normally?"

...

...

_No effin' way._

Grimmjow stared. "Are you asking me out?"

"What's that?" he asked blankly. Grimmjow didn't know whether to smack his forehead or laugh like an idiot.

He settled for chuckling and shaking his head. "Dude. You're so fucking oblivious - seriously. What I meant was that you're like asking me out on a freaking date."

"But - that -" Ulquiorra sputtered, turning a light shade of pink. "Wasn't."

"Awww," Grimmjow said sarcastically, before grinning. "If you said it like that earlier, I wouldn't have minded."

"... Okay," Ulquiorra said uncertainly, taking it as the end of that discussion.

And somehow, somewhere in the depths of their minds, they somehow found good in each other and decided that it was awesome. Especially Ulquiorra's mind (_also known as the Evil Spawn_).

_Awwww, you two are having a decent conversation with each otherrrrr._

_... Silence, self._

_You even asked him out on a daaaaate. That's so fucking cuutteeeeeeee._

Grimmjow gave him a funny look when Ulquiorra twitched his eyes as if in serious thought.

"Right. So, got any places you wanna go?"

Ulquiorra blinked. "I... Didn't really think that far," he admitted, looking to the side, up, and everywhere but Grimmjow. The blue-haired man scoffed.

"That's why I was asking. I'm sorry to say this, but you don't seem like the type to go around and enjoy life often," Grimmjow stated honestly, and Ulquiorra shrugged. "No offense."

"None taken. I do realize. Anywhere would be nice..."

"... Oh my god. Nevermind, let me decide. How 'bout something to eat?"

"When?"

"After swimming."

"Is that why you look constipated? Because you're hungry?" Ulquiorra asked curiously, shifting his weight.

Grimmjow gave him another funny look.

"Er, _no_. I'm still pissed off at the bruise you gave me."

"You're angry at me?"

"More like myself. It's been years since someone hit me on the face."

"Grimmjow has depth. I've never known," Ulquiorra deadpanned, and Grimmjow snorted.

"To be an aspiring psychologist," Grimmjow stated in a scholarly-like way, clearing his throat and chaning his accent completely, "You must have depth. This is to assure your patients that they will never be as fucked up as you are, thus giving them a false sense of security that they aren't really as insane as they think -"

Ulquiorra splashed him with water.

"- what the hell!" Grimmjow coughed noisily, then glared.

"You were talking too much. Wait, no - pfft!" Ulquiorra sputtered, wiping the water off his face. Grimmjow grinned.

It turned out into an all war. Water flew everywhere as they ducked and threw violently, splashing the whole place wet. Grimmjow tried to retreat to his float but failed miserably when Ulquiorra grabbed him.

"You're - not - getting - away -"

"Oh yes I'm fucking am!" Grimmjow shouted, pulling with all of his might. Ulquiorra was dragged along too, and they ended up in a strange, compromising position. Both of them blushed and tried to get off, but Grimmjow decided to be stupid.

He grinned down at Ulquiorra, who was in between his legs.

It turned suggestive. "You know, since you're that close to my dick anyway, maybe you could do me a favor and -"

"Don't. Even. Think about it."

xoxox

xoxox

Aizen was busy looking at his hair (Aizen Sousuke was a narcissist. It was bound to be.) when the phone rang merrily.

It wasn't his.

He shrugged and answered it. He didn't even get a chance to say _hello _before a string of unintelligible words came out (he could only catch '_fuck this shit_') and a male voice spoke up. He didn't sound very happy.

"_What the fuck, Ichi!? Didn't I send you an e-mail that you were supposed to pick me up from the airport a fucking __**hour**_ _ago!?"_

Aizen blinked at the wall opposite him, holding the phone far, far away from his ear as the man continued shouting in the phone.

"_And now I'm stuck here and everybody's staring and you know how much I hate -"_

"Ichigo's not here at the moment," Aizen drawled lazily, picking up the comb and styling his hair.

"... _Wait. Then who the __**fuck **__are you!?"_

Amused, he decided to be an asshole about it. "Just some guy."

"_'Just some guy'!? Fuck that bullshit! If you've done somethin' to Ichi I swear I'mma hunt you down, you fucking sicko! Now what'd you do to -"_

Aizen immediately flipped it off, sighing. He shook his head slightly and whistled as he touched up his hair to perfection.

"Kids these days..."

He looked up to his clock, and smirked.

"My time to shine."

xoxox

"Yo, Ichi," Renji hollered, slinging an arm across Ichigo's shoulders. "Guess what I heard?"

"Don't wanna hear it."

"Come onnnn!"

"Don't wanna hear it."

"It's gonna be goooood."

"Don't wanna hear it."

"Mayuri secretly takes photos of you in the men's room."

"Like for the last time, I don't wanna - _what the fuck!?"_

"HAH! Gotcha!" Renji snorted, shaking his head. Ichigo resisted the urge to smack the man. "Anyway, word from the street was that you've got yourself a new boyfriend. So. Is he hot?"

"You've already got one, Pineapple," Ichigo said warily, looking for a nearby distraction. He is not hearing this.

"You aren't denying it, then?"

"We're not boyfriends, you dumbass."

Renji whistled. "So there _is _someone! Didn't think you were the type to do one-night stands, Ichi, I mean seriously -"

"I have a metal pipe in my bag, you know," Ichigo said airily, grinning disarmingly. "In the time it takes for you to scream for someone to save that puny ass of yours, I can already gut half of your insides and stretch them everywhere. Stuffing them into that big fat mouth of yours would be a good start. _Don't you think so, Abarai Renji?_"

Renji wisely took the threat to heart, backing away with two hands on his front. "Ok, ok. It's just, you know, surprising. You've never really, you know. Got interested or anything."

"Whatever," Ichigo mumbled, blinking at the scene ahead of him. A group of people were crowded around the center court. Last time he checked, there really wasn't anything going on at the moment, so they shouldn't have random meetings like that, unless they were in a cult.

Which was, sadly to say, highly likely. His college was just weird like that.

The crowd then squealed and freaking _massed _together, parting to make way for the source of it all - a guy, and not just any guy.

Ichigo stared.

_No fucking way._

"What the hell!?" he squawked, eye twitching. Aizen grinned at him charmingly and he stared and it was all Ichigo could do to avoid melting on the spot. "What - what - wuh -"

"Ichigo," Aizen greeted brightly, smiling a smile that was eligible to make even Renji, who was beside him, flush. Everybody else just squealed like fanatics at the fanservice. Ichigo wasn't any better.

He sputtered and looked around for any help, but there was none. He quickly tugged Aizen to walk away, the the crowd actually... _Followed._

"What are you doing here!?" Ichigo whispered harshly, looking back at the gathering fans (mostly made up of women, who had hearts in their eyes) and shuddering. He scowled up at Aizen. "You're not supposed to be here!"

"Why ever not?" Aizen asked smoothly, still smiling charmingly, while he was chuckling evilly inside. It was just too fun to mess around with Ichigo's head and making him look confused.

"Because - because - Just because! Everybody will jump at you!"

"Thank you for the compliment, but you didn't to make it so indirect."

Ichigo blinked, before blushing. "Oh." He shook his head. "That's not the point!" he complained, hissing.

"Thanks for your concern as well, but I'll be fine on my own. And I wanted to see you anyway."

Ichigo couldn't say anything to that. He simply made a faint sound at the back of his throat, staring, uncomprehending, before Aizen dangled something in front of his face. He blinked at the lump wrapped in an unassuming brown paper.

"What's that?"

"A present."

"What is it?" Ichigo asked, grasping the parcel. Aizen sighed, rolling his eyes.

"That's the point of a present, Ichigo. It's supposed to be a surprise. _And, _you're gonna have to open that later, not here."

"Um. Right." Ichigo shook it around, and after hearing no sounds, he wanted to whine. "Hiroshiii."

"Ichigooo." Aizen winked, and looked surprised as he suddenly remembered something. Ichigo was too busy trying to prevent from drooling. "By the way, this person... What was he nicknamed? _Shiro? _Called earlier." His grin was lopsided as he dangled the red phone in front of Ichigo. The orange-haired male greedily snatched it up.

Then blinked.

And screeched loudly.

"_**SHIRO!? **_Shit why didn't you tell me earlier oh my _god_! What the hell did he say! No, better question - what the _hell _did _you_ say to him!?" Ichigo shouted, eyes going wide as he panicked and hit the _Call _button. "Pick up Shiro pick up pick up!"

Aizen simply looked amused.

"Hello? Oh shit -"

He almost laughed at the way Ichigo held the phone at an arm's length, and he could very obviously pick out some of the swear words coming out from this 'Shiro' as he ranted, well, probably about Aizen himself. It was only after the volume was decreased significantly that he even bothered to place the phone close to him.

"Well, I'm sorry!" Ichigo whined, and Aizen's eyebrows shot up at the way his tone went all like _that. _Interesting. "But... He... Um. Stole the phone from me."

He winced as another barrage of insults made their way to his ears, and this time Aizen really did chuckle out loud. Ichigo shot him a wounded look, and turned back to the conversation when Aizen didn't let up - scowling. "Well, he gave it back to me, of course!" His eyes widened and he shuffled his feet, scratching his cheek sheepishly as if this mysterious Shiro was right in the same room. Aizen grinned slightly at the quirk. "Um... Yeah, I know him, he's a. Friend."

Aizen snorted. Well, more like scoffed, because Aizen didn't really _snort._

"Sort of!" Ichigo added hastily, then his eyes widened again as he checked his watch, blinking. "I _know_ I was supposed to pick you up. But you told me it was on the 12th - today's the 11th."

...

...

There was a long bout of silence. Aizen muffled his laughter.

Ichigo snorted incredulously into the phone, rolling his eyes. "Dude, you just suck majorly at reading timezones, man. Just stay in the chocolate store or something, and I'll meet you there in about fifteen minutes. Okay?" he asked amiably, with a little frustrated affection in it, then smiled softly.

Aizen stared at that.

And he badly wished he had a camera at that moment; but instead he had to settle with burning it into his memory.

"Right. Mhmm. Okay. I love you too. Yeah, yeah, I already said I love you, you dork, bye," Ichigo said, then ended the call, stretching his limbs. "Now, once _that's _done and over with..." He blinked at Aizen's staring.

The silence made him gradually turn redder.

"... What?" he asked in the end, voice small.

"You're cute when you smile like that," Aizen said bluntly, and Ichigo sputtered, not knowing where to put his hands as they flailed around. He settled with putting his hands in front of himself mimicking '_oh the __**agonyyy**__'._

"Don't say things like that! In public! It's embarassing!"

"So we just need to be alone together and you'll accept compliments?" Aizen echoed, translating it in his own words, before grinning. "Alright. Sounds logical enough."

"That's not what I meant!"

"But you said yourself, don't do that in public."

"I just - don't want anybody else to hear them _that'sall," _Ichigo mumbled, pushing his hands together. Aizen couldn't help but smile, then guide Ichigo away by putting a hand on one arm and pushing him towards his car.

"Sorry to say, but I don't really do assurances, I tell it as it is. So when I say you're cute, I mean it."

"How can you say that with a straight face!? And where are we going?"

"It takes years of practice. And we're going to the airport to pick up this 'Shiro' of yours."

"Wait wait waitwaitwait NO," Ichigo said immediately, in a rare show of refusal, turning around and narrowing his eyes. "He'll get jealous."

Aizen raised an eyebrow in question. "And I should be afraid because...?"

"No, I mean it. You can't come. Thanks for the offer, but I really don't think that Shiro would take it well. I mean, we've always been, um. Well I can't really tell you now, but Shiro's. Er. Special. He's -"

Aizen swiftly kissed Ichigo's lips, which immediately slacked at the contact, thus stopping his rant. He immediately melted, brain going to an overdrive; his cheeks burned, his eyes wanted to roll to the back of his head, and he felt as if he could die. In a good way. Like he was going to heaven or some metaphorical shit like that.

_OH MY GOD._

_OH MY GODOMGOMGOMGOMG._

_..._

_That's so not fair. He cheated._

_..._

_..._

_Guh._

"You talk too much," he murmured, then pulled the dazed Ichigo away, who blinked, then smiled goofily.

"Um."

"I'm going to meet this Shiro of yours and you're not going to do anything about it."

"'Kay."

"So just shut up and strap yourself into the car."

"... Guh."

As Aizen led him away, the crowd that was keeping silent since the beginning of the whole drama suddenly squealed loudly. It was like the sound of angry bees swarming, only that these were fangirls (and the few fanboys, of course).

So it was more like happy bees.

...

...

You get the meaning.

"_OH MY GOD!"_

"That was _sooooooooo_ CUTE!"

"OMG, omg omg omg."

"_AHHH! I love them already!"_

"MY NEW OTP, HANDS DOWN!"

Renji was jolted from his silent staring from the squeals, before he chuckled. "You're one of a kind, Ichigo... Shit." He blinked.

"Midget and Princess are not gonna like _this._"

xoxox

_xoxox_

_Chapter Seven End._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

A/N: XD Ahahahahaa, I think I'm on crack.

Well, have a nice day! :D


	8. Showdown

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Con artists on a 'holiday', Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy stalkers and men in clogs - while avoiding being caught, of course. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack, FLUFF; and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: LOL, I changed the summary _again._ And this took me a long while to actually write. xD;

Review Response:

_solinavesi_: Aw, thanks. And there you have it - Shiro's chapter o.o He shouts a lot D:

_ceres: _XD No problem!

_Acmarache: _Yay, new reader! x3 Thank you! Here's the next chapter. uu Hope that it's okay.

_kisalamode: _Mwahahaha.

_pinball62: _Updated! Thank you for reviewing!

_VietShinigami: _Ohohoho, I don't know, maaaaybe. x3 Their time will come. (Don't worry, I don't like them all that much either.)

_Germanbubbles: _I saw it. D: I'll probably edit it later uu Thank you for pointing it out! I unfortunately don't have a beta, it's hard to catch these mistakes alone :3 Thank you!

_hyperdude: _Yes, declaration of love! :DD -files away- I love you too?

_Zeph: _BAHAHA. And this chapter is only the beginning. :D

_tokyo majin:_ Thank you very much! :D

_Stoic-Genius:_ xD Thanks!

_demon ragdoll:_ Well there you have it. :3 Lol.. Their first date o.o They're growing up so fast :D

_Vulpes velox:_ That reminds me, I should put some more random line breaks... :D Thanks for reviewing!

_Ice:_ xD Well, I'm just following the original Espada rankings. Don't worry, Grimmjow will get back at him... Sooner or later... o.o

Enjoy! :D Read and review, please! I do love getting reviews and the support is just awesome. xD;

Um... A lot of caps lock abuse xD; (It's Shiro.)

xoxox

xoxox

_8_

_Showdown_

xoxox

xoxox

After getting out of the pool and actually changing into clothes decent enough to go out (naked, sadly, wasn't an option since it had police involvement), Ulquiorra left it to Grimmjow to decide where to eat.

But it wasn't really as easy as it seemed. At first. There were a few reasons for this.

_1. Grimmjow wanted a burrito._

They were walking from the swimming complex and off to Grimmjow's car. He noticed that it was a sporty type - the vinyl in a disarray just like Grimmjow's mussed hair. A harmonious combinations of blues in a chaotic pattern.

How so very like Grimmjow -

"Hey, I wanna get a burrito," Grimmjow said suddenly, stuffing his hands into his jacket and shivering at the cold. "Shit, fucking freezing!" His hair was still damp and hung loosely. Ulquiorra liked it - but he froze at Grimmjow's suggestion.

_2. Ulquiorra has... Selective tastes._

"A... Burrito?" Ulquiorra asked slowly and carefully, as if the mere word was a diseased thing. He stared blankly while Grimmjow returned the funny look, already pressing the unlock button for the car. He stopped midway beyond the door when Ulquiorra didn't respond.

"... You don't know what's a burrito?" Grimmjow deduced, much like Ulquiorra's blankness.

"What are you - I _do _know what is a burrito, thank you very _much_," Ulquiorra deadpanned in the middle of his speech, and Grimmjow barked out a laugh.

"Just checking, chill!" He started up the car when Ulquiorra already closed the door, accelerating in reverse. "Man, the way you put it makes it sound as if you've never had one before."

Ulqui just kept silent.

...

...

...

"I haven't."

_Which brings us to point number three - Ulqui __**never **__had a burrito before in his __**life.**_

"Fucking hell!" Grimmjow swerved dangerously, almost hitting a nearby post box at the prospect of someone actually never eating a burrito before. He slammed the brakes, then turned to Ulqui. "You are so not serious!"

Ulquiorra gripped his seat, looking around. "What? What is it?"

Grimmjow looked horrified. "Oh my god, you _are_. _Dude, _a freaking _burrito!_" Grimmjow shook Ulquiorra as if the black-haired man lost his mind. "Where the fuck have you been all these years, in a freaking _cave!?_ How can you _not _eat a burrito before!?"

"I just don't?" Ulquiorra suggested, eyebrow raised.

He really didn't see the big deal, but to Grimmjow, it was a freaking _big-ass deal _alright. "Burritos are like the holy beacon of Mexican food heaven! Saying that you've never tried one before is like defiling the holy soil of the Burrito _**Gawd**__._"

Ulquiorra couldn't help it - he masked a smile, putting a hand up to hide it at the blue-haired man's dramatic words. Grimmjow's expression was like a puffed up cat, offended when Ulquiorra slipped out a chuckle.

"Seriously, it's not a laughing matter! That's it, I'm gonna get you one and right _now," _Grimmjow said determinedly, eyes glinting in a new light as he slammed on the accelerator. "Woo yeah baby!"

Ulquiorra could only grab at his seat in horror as Grimmjow flipped the middle finger at the car in front of them.

"My blind grandma can drive faster than so move your fucking slow ass! YEAH!"

xoxox

Ulquiorra was too busy trying not to move an inch lest he threw himself onto the ground and kissing it in relief.

Grimmjow was an... Interesting driver. That was the only thing that registered into his mind when all the events earlier were one big blur to him - Ulquiorra was busy trying not to look fazed as Grimmjow weaved through cars off to the Mexican Food joint, ordering a take-out through the drive-thru, and then going near-missing cars again.

They finally stopped somewhere near the central plaza. His usual deductive skills were reduced to muddled thoughts after that death defying experience, and silently promised to himself that he would never go on a joyride with this dude on the wheels.

_Joyride. Like hell you want that thing to take __**you **__on a joyride._

_I am ignoring you after this sentence._

_You can't ignore yourself, Ulqui! _True to his word, he really did. _Damn!_

Grimmjow opened his car window without actually going outside. The rustle of a plastic bag reminded Ulquiorra the whole purpose of this trip - to get food. The smell of tortilla and meat made him blink up in surprise. It didn't really help that Grimmjow shoved the food under his nose anyway.

"Try it."

"Why?"

"Because it's for you. Eat this burrito and revel in its glorious presence, ignorant fool," Grimmjow sniffed indignantly, unwrapping his own lunch - you guessed it - a burrito too. Ulquiorra just stared at the food in his hands, turning it over thoughtfully.

Well, he's always seen it in the pictures and in other people's hands. It didn't look too bad -

"Okay, it's enough that you haven't had a burrito before, but I seriously do not want to know if I have to teach you how to _eat _a _freaking _burrito."

Ulquiorra gave him an absolutely freezing, Antartic-cold glare.

"I take that as a 'Yes I do Know, You Infidel'," Grimmjow said, backing away.

"Good." Ulquiorra then turned to his neglected food, and _to hell with it _he just took out a bite.

There was a long period of wait in baited breath as Grimmjow stared expectantly.

...

...

_chew chew chew_

Ulquiorra then promptly swallowed, shrugging. "Not bad."

"Not bad? _Not bad!?"_

"I have yet to see the glorious effect," Ulquiorra said dryly, and at that, Grimmjow grinned sheepishly.

"Er, I got a bit carried away. But burritos are the awe in the awe... Some..."

Grimmjow's eyes bugged out when the burrito in Ulqui's hand earlier went missing.

"What the _fuck? _Where the hell is it?!" Then he pointed an accusing look to Ulqui. "... Did you throw it away?"

"No, why would I do that?" Ulquiorra licked his fingers lightly. "I ate it."

"... You ate it."

It really wasn't any surprise that Grimmjow found that extremely hard to believe. It showed in his voice, in which Ulquiorra casually brushed off with a look to the side. "Of course. I wouldn't _waste _food."

His stomach growled lightly, and he looked back at Grimmjow.

Then at the burrito in Grimmjow's hands.

Then at Grimmjow again.

"Aw, shit, no." Grimmjow glared at Ulqui when he looked at him expectantly.

"I'm hungry, Grimmjow."

"Shit that, man, so am I! Lemme eat in peace!"

"But I want that burrito."

"What, to throw it away like the other one?"

Ulquiorra sighed exasperatedly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "I _did _eat it. Now stop being a child and give me that burrito," he added, with an undertone of freezing ice. Grimmjow stuck out a tongue childishly just to annoy Ulqui.

"Lemme think about it - no. And there was no way you could've eaten that burrito so fast!"

"Want me to prove it?"

"Yeah!"

"Give me your burrito."

Too caught up in the moment to care, he held it out for Ulquiorra to take, and the black-haired man placed it gingerly between two fingers. Grimmjow smirked in triumph when nothing happened. "HAH! You _did _throw... It... Away oh _my god._"

_Oh my god._

He was right. Ulquiorra really did eat his food, and consumed it properly - but Grimmjow stared in a mix of fascination and disgust as he watched. Why? Ulquiorra chomped it down as if there was no tomorrow.

_He's... He's __**inhaling **__his FOOD!_

Ulquiorra quickly finished, burping lightly. "Told you so. And excuse me."

Grimmjow stared a bit more, before blinking. Then he squawked indignantly. "Oi! You _ate _my burrito!"

"You gave it to me," Ulquiorra said innocently, shrugging.

"I did not! You did your manipula-skill-thing!"

"... Manipulation?" Ulquiorra asked distantly, then nodded slowly. "I suppose..."

"You're acting dumb!"

He smirked. "Well, maybe I am."

Grimmjow just stared at the downright fucking sexy smirk, and turned away forcefully, blankly winding up his car window, trying not to fall all over himself. He tried to think up of some asshole-ish comment to that, but nothing came up.

Until his stomach growled in protest. _Loudly._ Grimmjow's cheeks couldn't help but heat up. Ulquiorra decided to be a smartass about it.

"... You're hungry."

Grimmjow gritted his teeth. Sometimes, there were moments when he thought Ulquiorra was cute. Sometimes he thought that he was way too annoying for his own good.

This was one of those latter moments.

"I fucking _know that, _Captain _Obvious_! Now sit tight, I'mma get us some more burritos."

xoxox

"The airport, driver. Step on it."

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

He had a freaking limo. A _limo. _Weren't they supposed to be in a _car? _Aizen was just smiling as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and Ichigo didn't do anything about it only because his mind was still blanked out.

_... Guh._

The sound of the beeping phone jolted Ichigo horribly from his half dazed state, and he hastily grabbed for it. Sliding it seamlessly, he was surprised that it was from Grimmjow and not Shiro.

Well, he _did _leave Grimmjow to wallow in self-pity...

_**From Fucktard (12:45 PM)**_

_Fucker stole my burrito!_

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, blinking. Who was actually stupid enough to deprive Grimmjow of his favorite food? He was about to reply before Aizen neatly plucked the phone out of Ichigo's hands. "Hey - oi!" he exclaimed, reaching out for it but Aizen placed a finger on Ichigo's lips, and he started to blush, remembering what transpired earlier. "Hiro -"

"Shh." Aizen then stuffed it into his pockets as Ichigo stared, starting to hyperventilate. "Now, now, Ichigo - I know that you're preoccupied with the thought of that kiss, but I really need to ask you about this Shiro -" He stopped immediately as Ichigo _licked _his finger.

Ichigo stared.

Aizen stared some more.

A bird promptly did its business on the windshield of the car and the driver shrieked in surprise, but both of them didn't notice.

Aizen smirked. "I hadn't known you were so daring, Ichigo."

"S-Shut up!" Ichigo replied heatedly, cheeks blazing red. "I wanted you to stop rambling! And give - me - my - phone -" He dived for the chance to get it back - literally - ending on top of Aizen, straddled across him. He was trying to get a good grip while feeling up Aizen's side pockets. He grinned triumphantly when his fingers reached a familiar lump, and was about to take it when the car - limo thing suddenly _jolted, _and Ichigo's head somehow hit the near counter-top thing, _hard_.

_**THUNK**_

"OW, fucking shit -" He whimpered, putting up his hands on the sore spot as his forehead hit Aizen's shoulder. "Ow, ow, _ow_..."

"Ichigo?" Aizen had winced at the sound, so it _must _be painful. "Are you all right?"

"I think so... _Ow._ Okay, maybe not -"

The car door suddenly opened wide, with the chauffeur ever-ready at the door, respectfully bowing.

"Sir, we are now at the - Aizen-sama!?" The chauffeur cut his sentence off, eyes bugging out at the sight.

This is what it looked like to the chauffeur.

Aizen-sama's guest's cheeks were flushed and his mouth was slightly opened, eyes clouded. Other than that, the boy was straddled quite suggestively across his employer, hands to either side of Aizen's torso and Aizen's own arms around Ichigo's waist. Both were mussed up as if they got into a slight fight.

The dark-haired man looked faintly annoyed at being interrupted.

Well, to anyone else, it seemed like both of them were having the time of their lives before the door was opened. Aizen realized this particular detail, and Ichigo didn't - well, at least, before Aizen cleared his throat.

Then he blushed horribly, hastily getting off and falling all over himself.

"This wasn't - I wasn't -"

"Whatever you may or may not see here today, Fujiwara, is none of your concern," Aizen said cheerfully, with the ever present threat hanging in the background. The chauffeur gulped silently, nodding. "Good. Come, Ichigo."

"- and I definitely - didn't - oh my _godddd._" Mortified, Ichigo could do nothing but stare out in shock even as Aizen pulled the boy towards the airport terminal.

He subtly pulled the boy closer to him and pressed him up against his side, looking to the people around - chuckling.

"You might want to call your friend to see where he is," Aizen said lightly, and Ichigo blinked at the phone held up in front of him.

_Wait, why is he giving me back the phone?_

He blinked again, and squawked when he realized one conclusion.

This was the time when Ichigo found out that Aizen was a sly manipulator.

"You _planned _all that!?" he demanded. When Aizen merely smiled merrily, the boy knew that it was all true. "The fight and the whole pouncing and the whole -" He cut off with a whine. "Ehhhhh!"

_Stupid fucking stalker!_

_Yeah, a sexy stalker, if you ask me._

_SHUT THE FUCK UP._

He looked to the side, taking out his phone grouchily and pressing the speed dial number 2.

"_ICHIGO!"_

He winced at the volume, and turned it down a bit. "Hi, Shiro."

"_Where the FUCK __**are you!?**__"_

"I'm already at the airport. You're at the chocolate store, right?"

"_Of course I am. Now get here faster goddamn it!"_

"Okay, okay." Ichigo swatted an arm that tried to snake its way around his waist, walking fast towards the aforementioned candy shop. Aizen stared at him, catching up easily with his long strides. He smiled.

"Are you sulking, Ichigo?"

"NO. I am _not _sulking, absolutely _not, _after I found out that the _guy I like _is pulling out _cheap tricks _just to get _AMUSEMENT!_" Ichigo shouted at the end, blowing. Then he realized what he said, and felt his face heat up in mortification.

Again.

Let's rewind why.

_Found out the __**guy I like**_

_**Guy I like**_

_**GUY.**_

_**I.**_

_**LIKE.**_

"You did not hear me say that," Ichigo warned, starting to walk. Aizen merely smiled, pulling Ichigo backwards when he started to sulk again. "Hiro - mmmm."

Aizen pulled away from that kiss, then didn't even bother resisting for _another _kiss, before pulling away.

Ichigo made that faint sound at the back of his throat again, and Aizen couldn't help but chuckle. Ichigo scowled - or tried to anyway.

"T-That's _so not fair._"

"For the record, I rather like you too," Aizen murmured, then pulled Ichigo towards the candy store. "Now, would you like to answer the question '_who_' on this Shiro of yours?"

Ichigo frowned suddenly, scratching the back of his neck. "Um... Shiro's kind of violent..."

"I didn't ask how he was like, but thank you for the additional information."

"Hey! Okay, _fine._ He's family."

"Family -" Aizen didn't get any further than that when a sudden blur of white surged past them and aimed a kick at Ichigo. The orange-haired man flipped to the side, using his hands to spring up as another kick was aimed.

"_KING!"_

Aizen stared at the newcomer, eyes going silently more upwards as the seconds passed.

The same hairstyle, same face and the same height.

Simply put, the man was a carbon copy of Ichigo.

_A twin...?_

Then he blinked at the white hair and the white clothes and the sunglasses on his eyes.

_... An __**albinistic **__twin?_

"King; why the fuck did you take so long!"

"Well, I came here as fast as I could, you know!" Ichigo laughed cheerfully as a fist slammed onto his face. It was cute how Shiro was fiercely possessive over him, but still insisted beating him up, even after all these years. Of course he couldn't get any farther than getting a punch in. He then hugged his twin brother tight. "I missed you."

"Well I fucking miss you a _lot _more - _who the fuck is that_?"

His voice gradually turned high pitch as the carbon-copy spotted Aizen. His maniac grin immediately froze on his face. Ichigo started to panic, getting out of the brotherly embrace and placing himself inbetween the two people. Shiro was known to tackle every which way, so.

Anyway.

_I completely forgot, shit!_

"Haha, well, what'dyou know! Er. Shiro." He cleared his throat to give some time for his twin to cool down. "This is a friend of mine."

Ichigo laughed nervously, then 'meep'ed as Aizen slid a hand down Ichigo's arm to interlace his fingers so _casually _that both Shiro and _Ichigo_ actually squawked. The white-haired twin stared blankly, before raising up an eyebrow in a sardonic grin.

"_Friend, huh?_"

Shiro's voice was a bit distorted. Oh shit.

_Ohhh shit._

It was a well-known fact that Shiro was known to do very dangerous things when his voice went all distorted like that from pent up emotions. (Mainly jealousy.) Last time Ichigo had to hide all the pointy objects in his house because Shiro was being an asshole to just about everyone who came to visit the orange-haired boy.

This distortion was plain, fierce jealousy. Shiro didn't wipe the grin on his face - instead, it got bigger as his eye twitched in incredulity.

"_Get your hands away from -"_

"Nice to meet you," Aizen interrupted smoothly, and _this _time Shiro wiped the grin off his face as he recognized that voice. Ichigo, on the other hand, went slack-jawed at Aizen's sudden suicidal tendencies.

Shiro absolutely hated being interrupted. It was the third in the list of things he hated - first were people going after Ichigo, second was rain.

"YOU!"

Aizen looked amused, unfazed by the level of screaming piercing through his ears.

"Yes, me."

xoxox

Ulquiorra stared down at the menu in front of him, and Grimmjow was staring down at his own.

Then both of them stared warily at each other.

They were in a restaurant. Ulquiorra logically deduced that mere takeouts wouldn't satisfy them, and Grimmjow agreed, pulling up into this Japanese restaurant. He still wanted a burrito, though, so he made sure that he picked up one.

And fuck, he didn't share it with Ulquiorra this time. He ate it quickly and hastily.

"What're ya gonna order?"

"... Probably everything on the menu..." Ulquiorra said so thoughtfully and so _honestly _that Grimmjow could only stare.

"Everything on the menu?" he asked blankly.

"Yes, I am in need of rather substantial amounts of sustenance."

"You can just say that you're hungry, you know, " Grimmjow said dryly, before shaking his head. "Ugh, but seriously. _Everything_? Girls would kill for your secret of staying thin."

Ulquiorra gave him a silent stare, before propping up his head on his hands. He gave Grimmjow an absolutely smouldered look, eyes lidded halfway and his lips parted slightly.

_Fuck, he's sexy._

"Then they can hardly blame me for having a metabolism on constant overdrive," Ulquiorra drawled.

Grimmjow felt his libido twitch. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought that Ulquiorra was actually giving him the green light.

_... Damn. I'm in lust._

He tried to distract himself by looking at the conveyor belt. A salmon _nigiri _passed by and he snatched it up quickly, putting it down on the table. He went on to prepare the soy-sauce/wasabi combination on those little tray things, and broke the chopsticks. "Itadakima -" Grimmjow stared at his previously occupied plate.

The salmon was gone.

Ulquiorra licked his finger absently, watching for the other plates going by, snatching up one in random. Grimmjow silently stared, before Ulquiorra paused in eating one with two of his fingers.

"... Yes?"

"... You should really stop stealing food from me."

"But I'm hungry."

Grimmjow grabbed another salmon nigiri plate, immediately stuffing it into his mouth so that Ulquiorra wouldn't take it. After swallowing (ah, sushi, good for the soul), he was about to take the other piece - and it was gone.

_God __**damn **__it!_

"Ulqui. Seriously, stop."

"What?"

"... Nevermind..."

"Well, alright then."

Then he picked up another plate and vacuumed the tuna to the oblivion that was Ulqui's Stomach.

Grimmjow stared, then plucked the same thing from the belt. He promptly ate it as well, albeit with more controlled movements.

Ulquiorra stared.

Grimmjow stared back.

Both of them snatched up some random trays on the belt and inhaled the food.

"It seems -" Ulquiorra started between gulps, "- that you are challenging me, Grimmjow."

"That's -" Grimmjow paused to chomp down the tuna, "- not true. I'm - hungry."

"You will find that it would be unadvisable to compete against me in eating."

"Shut the fuck up, I'm gonna win this," Grimmjow said, slamming his hands on the table and grabbing everything he could on the belt. "Like hell you're gonna eat this much, punk - hey!"

Ulqui already started his inhaling, stacking up the plates much faster than Grimmjow was. He snarled, and chomped down everything in sight (edible).

"I'm going to win."

"No, me!"

"My competitive side will make sure that you lose, dense fool."

"Heh, keep on thinking that, punk, since I'm already topping you by three plates."

"And I've already topped you by two. Keep on dreaming, Grimmjow -"

Said blue-haired man already threw five plates to the side while Ulquiorra rambled.

"HAH! Beat that!"

"Sirs, you are disrupting the other customers -"

"_SHUT UP_!" Grimmjow and Ulquiorra snarled in unison, before continuing their competition.

Food flew everywhere as they ravaged through the poor restaurant. The other customers didn't even dare to complain about the food monopoly - instead, they formed a crowd around the couple and placed bets.

"I say the bluey!"

"The green-eyed monster!"

"Place your bets everyone, right here and right now!"

The plates just kept on stacking.

xoxox

xoxox

Everyone who knew Shirosaki Hichigo - the albino, violent younger twin of Ichigo - also knew that he was a screamer. (Following both meanings, a.k.a; in or out of bed.) This was apparent throughout his whole life - when he was both young and old - he would always _scream _to get whatever the fuck he wanted, or to get whatever the fuck he wanted _away _from Ichigo.

So, since Ichigo knew him most, he hastily grabbed the albino towards a part of the terminal exposed to open air when he was still hyperventilating, trying to find the words. Aizen merely followed.

Sure enough, Shiro started to scream unbelievably loud.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT -"

"Dude?" Ichigo interrupted weakly, masking the 'SICKO' that rang noisily through the air, and a whole lot of other choice words that Aizen knew slipped out of Gin's colourful vocabulary sometimes. "Um... Don't mind Shiro, please?" Ichigo asked hopefully, severely hoping that the man wouldn't walk out just because of Shiro's threats. He _liked _Aizen. Genuinely.

"It's hard not to," Aizen said, chuckling. Ichigo blinked at him in surprise.

"You're... Not going to leave?"

"Leave? Oh, no -" Aizen laughed outright, shaking his head. "I know older men who are more childish than that - and I still haven't walked out of a room because of them. I doubt I will because of your twin brother." He looked thoughtfully at Shiro, then back at Ichigo. "Is that why you don't have a boyfriend, then?" Aizen asked, pointing at the ignored ball of flaming rage that was Shirosaki.

"_- WON'T LET ANYONE TOUCH HIM, ESPECIALLY SOME PERVERT LIKE __**YOU**__ -"_

"You just had to ask, huh."

"Well..." Aizen trailed off mischeviously, and Ichigo hit him on the arm.

"My first boyfriend couldn't hug me because Shiro kept on throwing rocks at him," Ichigo said blandly, staring disinterestedly as Shiro went into one of his all-famous Berserker Mode. "My first kiss was interrupted when Shiro dumped a bucket full of iced water on the poor girl - and he also chased down the dude who he found out made out with me, threatening to kick his balls."

"Did he?" Aizen asked, with mild interest.

"Well, no," Ichigo said airily, "He aimed a soccer ball at the guy the next day. Now he can't have babies."

Aizen stared when Ichigo laughed it off as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"And you don't find this disturbing."

"Of course not!" He ended cheerfully. "I find it annoying, but it is rather cute."

"How cruel," Aizen commented lightly, referring to Ichigo's disregard. _And absolutely endearing._

He found out that he liked it.

"So why does he call you King?"

"Eh, a nickname from my old school. I was the 'King' in the drama. Or something like that. To be honest, I can't remember all that well..."

"WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING WITH THAT GUY!" Shiro screamed, interrupting their 'moment', trying to pull Ichigo away. When he couldn't, he simply plastered himself onto Ichigo's side, whining. "Kiiiiing."

"Shiroooo." Ichigo grinned. "You calm yet?"

"I don't like this one bit," Shiro said petulantly anyway, frowning. "I don't like _him._"

"You don't like everyone I meet with, Shiro," Ichigo replied blandly, and Shiro pouted outrageously.

"That's not true; I like Grimmjow!"

"... You just freaking sent him a bomb last summer."

"I wouldn't have done it if I know he'll be okay," Shiro said unabashedly, and Ichigo slapped his forehead. Aizen, on the other hand, blinked beside him.

"Well... Shiro, meet my friend. His name is Aizen Hiroshi. Hiroshi, This is my younger twin, Hichigo Kurosaki - only that people call him Shirosaki."

Then Ichigo subtly moved in between Aizen and Shiro again.

"I can see why," Aizen said cheerfully, and Shiro realized again _why_ he was screaming earlier. He pointed a finger at Aizen.

"You!"

"Me, naturally," Aizen replied mischeviously, and Shiro looked thrown at Aizen's disregard for his own life. People just didn't talk back to Shiro. They just... Didn't.

But he grinned anyway.

"You're that pervertic -"

"Well. But of course."

Shiro's grin twitched at the interruption.

"Will you stop -"

"Stop what?"

"That -"

"Ah, you mean interrupting you every which way." Aizen raised his nose as he looked at Shiro with generous amounts of gleeful mockery. "And I should stop, because...?"

Shiro stomped on the floor like a child.

"You _can't just_ -"

"Oh, yes I can," Aizen interrupted airily, without a care in the world.

"_Can you fucking stop that -"_

"How about no?"

"ARGH!"

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't Shiro who shouted out in frustration - it was Ichigo. The older twin gritted his teeth as he smacked both of them in the shoulders, _**hard.**_

"King -"

"Ichigo -"

"_You,_" he started, turning towards Aizen, with a snarl and a finger, "Stop interrupting my twin brother and _wishing_ for sudden death! It's bad enough that I'm trying to keep him from killing you when you're making him angrier and angrier!"

"Hah!" Shiro grinned in triumph, but Ichigo seethed, snapping his head towards his younger twin.

"Don't think that you're innocent too, punk. Stop trying to think of ways to murder every single people I meet!"

_Hah indeed, _Aizen thought fleetingly, grinning.

"But I'm not thinking of ways to murder every single people you meet!" Shiro retorted, gasping. "How could you think of me that way?"

Ichigo gave him a _look._

"Well, okay, fine. But I haven't murdered anyone yet!"

Ichigo's eye twitched as they narrowed, and he gave a disarming smile. It slowly spread across his face and Shiro could suddenly see his life flashing before his eyes. The look was a meaner, crueller version of Shiro's maniac grin.

"_**Yet,**__ Shiro-__**chan**__?_"

If Shiro's voice could go to freezing point, Ichigo's had the definition of _Antartic_. He caved immediately.

"Okay, okay, I give! I promise I won't... Kill him," Shiro said reluctantly, shuffling his feet. Then he brightened. "I get to maim him, right?"

"No permanent damage like that soccer-ball dude," Ichigo deadpanned, while Shiro laughed as he remembered. "I mean it, Shiro."

"Still, it was a riot."

Ichigo's stern face suddenly broke out into a smile. "I guess. He couldn't walk straight for days, though."

Aizen in the background simply smiled indulgently, and Shiro narrowed his eyes at him.

Ohh, he didn't like this guy at _all. _He was rude, he actually _stole _Ichigo's phone, _and _he could see plain as day that the guy had the air of a Rich Bastard more than everybody else he met before. That and he was clearly interested in Ichigo.

But whatever.

As long as Ichigo was happy - still, it didn't mean that Shiro couldn't get his share of fun, right?

He gave a grin towards Aizen, in which the man understood.

_He's mine._

_Delusional, poor child. Clearly that's not what he thinks,_ Aizen said mentally, amused, as he pulled Ichigo closer to him possessively. Shiro silently seethed, but didn't rise up to the bait. He merely latched onto one side of Ichigo.

_Let the games begin._

Ichigo, who wasn't as oblivious as the ones holding on to him clearly thought he was, merely sighed.

_Oh, whatever._

xoxox

_xoxox_

_Chapter Eight End._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

A/N: XD Ahahahahaa, I think I'm on crack.

Well, have a nice day! :D


	9. Sweetness

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Con artists on a 'holiday', Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy stalkers and men in clogs - while avoiding being caught, of course. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack, FLUFF; and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: -takes on the task of review replying-

xox

Review Response:

_ceres: _XD More like Shiro doing all the work while Aizen just smiles in the background. :3 Thank you for reviewing!

_Acmarache: _XD It's not bad. That's good. In fact, that's very good.

_kisalamode: _Mwahahaha, in turn, it makes everything super-cute eh? :D Sorry for updating so late. ;x;

_VietShinigami: _Lol! Burritos make me hungry...Thank you for reviewing!

_Zeph: _Well. :D I think Ichigo just got so used to it to the point of thinking it's... Cute. XD I think it's cute?

_tokyo majin:_ Yay! Thank you for reviewing! And I know. ;w; Shiro's fun to write.

_Stoic-Genius:_ xD Thanks!

_demon ragdoll:_ I know, amirite? XD I love these two no seriously. It's... Um. Crack. :3

_Vulpes velox:_ XD Well, my friends and me... We all inhale our food. It all comes down to who can inhale the most. 8D

_Ice Silverwind:_ 8D That's awesome, then! Thank you for reviewing!

_Teslyn: _:3 You get a smiley face.

_Nehh Loves You: _Lol! Well, nah. You don't get anything if you win. (Sorry.) But I'll give you a hug and violent love anyway for reviewing. o.o -throws love- :DD

_Auria Faith: _Haha, he's the little spoiled brat. Maybe you won't like him so much later, but who knows? :3 He'll get in between Aizen and Ichigo _lots._

_Haninozuka Mitsukuni: _Lol! XD Then I'm glad!

_Mizu1411: _Nahhh, it's okay! :D

_CrystalDragonYoukai: _Thank you!

_Raven Cactuar: _Ahahahaa, thank you for reviewing!

_Teryn: _Sorry for updating late! Here's the new chapter, I hope you enjoy!

_Urukiora Schifa: _Your penname speaks of great wisdom! O Eh, he'll shout much more in this chapter xD My hands hurt from putting in italics everywhere. But this chapter isn't as good as the last, tho. Eight's my favourite :3

xox

Man, I'm so sorry for the late update. I seriously had no ideas and my brain froze over. This chapter isn't as good as the last chapter though. Sorry ;x;

Enjoy! :D Read and review, please! Um, a lot of groaning and screaming is to be found in this chapter.

... Not in that way. XD

xoxox

xoxox

_9_

_Sweetness_

xoxox

xoxox

The contest ended with a tie.

A freaking _tie._

If he had known it from the start, he wouldn't have challenged that freaking monster to a eating duel. But as it was, he was sitting in his own car, unable to move just because he didn't want to start puking everywhere. Ulquiorra was beside him, clutching at his stomach and looking dazed.

And the best thing was? They only ended up in a tie because the restaurant ran out of sushi. Fucking bullshit, but Ulquiorra gave in and called it a tie.

A freaking _tieeeee._

Man, what he wouldn't give to start whining right now.

"So..."

Grimmjow groaned again. Oh fucking hell, even _talking _made his stomach churn, _whatthefuck?_

"Ugh..."

He shifted to the side, and whined.

"This fucking sucks, man - urggghh."

"Stop that," Ulquiorra snapped irritably.

...

Grimmjow had that pervertic smile on after Ulqui's snap.

"What, grunting - like - _this_?"

The green-eyed man immediately flushed, cheeks glowing red. Why did Grimmjow have to _do _that? "Stop that," he repeated firmly, looking to the side.

Grimmjow laughed.

"Well, well! You have your own perv in that pretty head of yours, don't you?" Suddenly that mischevious look on his face just went... Darker. Ulquiorra backed away as Grimmjow leaned over him, hand propped _in between _Ulqui's legs to steady himself and Ulqui's mind just shut down when the man didn't stop there - he leaned in as close as he could without touching his lips.

...

Grimmjow really was a good-looking guy.

_... Oh. Fuck._

_Say it out loud, Ulqui, I'm sure he'll like it. I mean, that's what you want him to do, eh?_

_Oh. Fuck._

_Ulqui? Am I losing you? Shit._

It wasn't any different in Grimmjow's own mind.

_Dude, you should like, totally kiss him. Like, now._

_Shut the fuck up, man, this takes skill!_

_Well you better get that skill goin' on 'cause both of you are makin' me horny which is like, making you horny and - wait, er, am I making sense?_

_..._

_..._

_... No._

_... Right. Just, like, pin him on your dashboard and make him ride you like no tomorrow -_

_I get the fucking picture._

"Come on, Ul_qui..._" he murmured, this time leaning in even closer to hover just inches away from Ulqui's ears. Ulqui's eyes just slid half-way shut.

_Oh, fuck. He smells nice._

_Lawl, you're so totally the bottom, man._

Then Ulquiorra's eyes widened, before they narrowed again and -

"WHOAH!"

- Grimmjow was suddenly pushed back to his seat.

Ulquiorra snarled, and moved with a vengance across to said seat, straddling across Grimmjow and pinning his hands at the sides of the dazed, blue-haired man's head. (This sounds familiar.) He shifted his hips against Grimmjow's and the blue-haired man couldn't help but notice how fucking _distracting _that move was, limbs going slack as he groaned slightly.

The culprit wasn't faring much better. He faltered and shuddered - Ulquiorra had no idea it'll feel so _good._

_Damn it, Ulqui - you should just take Grimmy away to be your own personal - slave. It'll ease off your tension._

_Silence, self._

_Oh - not hearin' you - feels good._

Ulquiorra dropped his head down to look at Grimmjow's dazed look, and smirked triumphantly, shifting even more upwards, arching his back slightly - and Grimmjow really, _really_ groaned.

"Ulqui -"

"Shut up," Ulquiorra cut off harshly, bunching up Grimmjow's shirt in his hands. "You're going to regret the times you teased me, Grimmjow."

"No - seriously, dude."

Ulquiorra was about to cut him off _again, _before noticing Grimmjow turned... A little... _Green_? He shut his mouth, cocking an eyebrow. Grimmjow slapped a hand across his mouth, eyes rolling upwards.

"Grimmjow - ?"

"Too much sushi - Ulqui - get off - I have to go _puke_ goddamn it!"

Ulquiorra stared blankly as he tried to process it.

Process failed.

Process failed.

Process _**WTF?!**_

Ulqui screamed in frustration (mentally) but got off anyway, and Grimmjow ran away from the car, puking on the nearest trash can.

_**AGH!**_

_That, my friend, is called Fate. She's a real bitch, eh?_

xoxox

_**AGH!**_

No, not Ulqui.

See Shiro pout. Ichigo was seated in between him and Aizen to prevent any more Unwanted Happenings, oblivious towards the glares and the smirks exchanged right behind him, relaxing as he talked about his college exams and etcetera.

And the battle of Sneaky Hands.

He glared viciously at the hand trying to creep up on _his _twin brother and smacked it away without a moment's hesitation. Ichigo looked at them curiously when he heard the smacking noise.

_For the freaking tenth time._

Then his eyes narrowed, shoulders tensing.

"Are you two fighting _again_?"

"No," Aizen and Shiro chorused together, sounding a bit too innocent for Ichigo's taste.

"Okay..." he said warily, and before he could say another word, another smack rang through the air. Ichigo immediately turned around, to find that A, Aizen had a hand hovering near his ass, and B, Shiro was smacking it away with a horrified look in his eyes, going manic-crazy-like. "What the - what's the problem _now?_"

"He's a pervertic sicko!" Shiro accused, pointing. "He's tryin' to touch you everywhere! And you're another problem! Why're you lettin' him!?"

Ichigo's cheeks blazed red, mouth going slack.

"I - I - I - _Shiro, what the hell!?"_

"Yeah! You're lettin' him molest you! Oh my gawd, King!" Shiro wailed, flapping his arms around and smacking his hands _accidentally _against Aizen's side.

"Shiro!"

Ichigo had no idea how he managed _that, _when he was sitting in between both of them. But he turned with an apologetic look towards Aizen. "Are you okay?"

"Of course," Aizen said, with an assuring tone.

They gazed into each other's eyes in some poetic shit that Shiro never bothered to understand, but it _bothered him, _alright. He intervened in between his King and the Rich Bastard, pulling them apart and tugging Ichigo into his arms, scooting away from Aizen.

"King, pay attention to _meeeeee!_" Shiro whined at the top of his throat, glaring at Aizen.

The older man merely smiled, tilting his head as Ichigo sputtered and - finally, he rolled his eyes, and hugged Shiro anyway.

"'M sorry, Shiro."

The albino grinned happily like a freaking _cat _and melted. He gave a triumphant smirk towards Aizen at his small victory of... Um... Distracting Ichigo from Aizen.

So it was a small win.

Doesn't mean he couldn't get petty.

_HAH! Take that, you son of a -_

"But it doesn't mean you can bother him like that," Ichigo said in a scolding tone, frowning. Shiro immediately glared at Aizen, who was trying not to laugh out loud. "Shiro, seriously, stop it. At least for a few minutes. Okay, at least when I'm out of the area -"

Ichigo hastily backtracked when Shiro _smiled. _Like, smile smiled.

"Maybe not. And stop smiling that fucking creepy grin!"

"Sorry..." Shiro pouted when Ichigo let go of him, getting back to his original seat.

"You better be. So, anyway, my essay's like seriously being a bitch, but I probably can pass it without much effort, it's just that the lecturer's not really generous with his As," Ichigo started again, and Shiro blinked. "So I need a one up against this one chick, who's like, a pro at this, and she's like buddy-buddy with the professor. Which is like so totally unfair, but it's not gonna change a thing -"

"Who the what again?"

Ichigo blinked at him, before narrowing his eyes. "You didn't even listen to me crap about the story of my life, did you?"

"Um."

Shiro shifted guiltily in his seat.

Then he smacked the hand that was creeping up to his twin brother.

"_Shiro_!"

The door swung wide open, and the brothers stared blankly at the man who was staring blankly at them - the chauffeur, Ichigo realized, after a moment's hesitation.

"Hello...?"

"Ah. Yes." The poor man cleared his throat, and gestured outside. "We are already at the park, sir."

"Oh yeah - time to go, Shiro," Ichigo said, and Shiro made an exaggerated sigh of relief which made Ichigo shake his head - picking up his duffle bag and shifting to go outside. Ichigo followed soon right after, feet finally on solid ground.

There was a rustle of fabric before Ichigo felt himself being pulled backwards and spun around, lips meeting with Aizen's in an almost natural kiss. His eyes slid shut automatically and he barely registered the shriek that pierced the air ("_**WAT THE FOK?!") **_that made the chauffeur whimper in fear.

_Oh._

_Ohh._

Cue Ichigo melting.

"I'll meet up with you later," Aizen murmured against his lips, sneaking in a quick grope that made Shiro scream another time.

"_**DOUBLE OMG WTF YOU BASTARD!"**_

"O-okay."

_Mmmm - whoah!_

Shiro roughly pulled his twin brother back and growled inhumanly, sputtering and snarling and pointing at Aizen who waved a mocking salute towards the shocked albino. "A pleasure to meet you, Shirosaki."

"You - you - wuh -"

"Yes, me." Aizen smiled charmingly, ducking away from the punch Shiro threw, laughing. He retreated back to his vehicle, ignoring the screams of how cowardly he was; leaving his so called impending doom at the Fists of Peril.

"The company building," he said carelessly, and the chauffeur blankly registered the order, already making a mental note to see a therapist.

Soon -

"_**I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU SICKOOOO!"**_

- after picking up some hearing aids.

xoxox

Urahara walked through the streets of Karakura City with his cane in his hands, whistling a tune he heard from Yoruichi a few days ago.

He was getting away from this seriously fucking creepy stalker by the name of Soifon. No, ironically, she wasn't _his _stalker - it was Yoruichi's.

But still.

Whistle whistle whistle.

He watched curiously as an unassuming limousine (but really, when can _limousines _be 'unassuming') stopped in front of the park on the oppposite side of the road, and blinked when a strangely familiar albino exited it, followed by the orange-haired boy he knew and, well, made life hell for.

"Ichigo?" he asked curiously, tilting his head and his hat downwards as his eyes widened in shock horror. _No fucking way no._ "Shirosa -"

"_**WAT THE FOK?!"**_ the Albino squawked.

...

...

...

_Did he just say 'fok'?_

"That's... Interesting?" Urahara asked to himself, eye twitching as a Sense of Impending Doom washed over him like the feeling that Yoruichi is going to slap him with another dead fish for not getting her more food when he gets home later.

But this isn't his story.

"_**DOUBLE OMG WTF YOU BASTARD!"**_

OVERKILL!

Urahara's eye twitched_ again _and he groaned lightly, picking on his ear, the inner turmoil in himself unseen to other people.

_Please don't be Shiro. Please don't be Shiro. Please don't be Shirosaki Hichigo._

He was about to take _another _step, and it struck.

"_**I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU SICKOOOO!"**_

He sighed. Alright, that definitely confirmed that the albino was Shirosaki. The poor boy had a strange, unhealthy habit of using the word 'sicko'.As the limousine sped away, he waved lightly towards Ichigo, the smile on his face twitching madly when Shiro spotted him and grinned maniacally.

Oh, Shirosaki was... Likable. He... Was. He really was.

Before he sent that bomb to Grimmjow.

They had a meeting on that day too. Grimmjow was outside Urahara's apartment - the postman ran towards him and shoved him the package before running away like nobody's business. Ichigo saw who it was from and heard the ticking sound, and was like, 'Um, maybe you should throw that away'.

See, Grimmjow is gud, smat man. Not _smart. _SMAT.

He left the package in Urahara's apartment.

Package go boom.

Urahara had to actually become a hobo for a couple of hours before Yoruichi took pity on him and offered him a place to stay. The life there was a living hell that smelled of cats and fish, and not to mention there was just this fucking creepy stalker of Yoruichi (SOIFON, who else?) that absolutely loved to interrogate Urahara on Yoruichi's whereabouts.

_"OMG, WHERE IS YORUICHI-SAMA. I MUZ KNOW."_

_"DOES SHE WEAR HER SOX LYK HER RITE FUT FIRST OR LYK HER LEFTIE FIRST."_

_"WUT IS HER REFRIGERATOR MODEL I MUZ BUY._"

Urahara wanted so badly to say 'I don't give a _fuck _about her fucking _refrigerator.'_

Of course, he couldn't say anything, because Yoruichi wouldn't let him and he was _such a kind man._

That, and he would have the bitch-slapping of his life, plus no more apartment to stay, plus he wouldn't get to raid Yoru's underwear drawer ever again. The thought made him almost weep.

So it all came down to Shiro's violent tendencies. That, and if Shiro was around, every single bad thing just _had _to happen. He was like the harbringer of bad luck.

"_Hell_oooo, Kisuke!"

_Hell. Oh._

"Welcome back, Shiro!" he said jovially, smiling as if all was right in the world. Then he noticed Ichigo's apparent lack of 'Yo, Hat and Clogs' and cracked open an eye, blinking when he found Ichigo was staring dazedly at the air behind him.

_Eh?_

"Okay, what's up with Ichigo?"

Shiro's face immediately turned up into a scowl, and Urahara wished that he hadn't asked that question. "He's meeting up with an absolutely _pervertic SICKO!_" Shiro screamed, stomping his feet on the ground. "He interrupts me and he actually has the freaking guts to _grope _King in front of me and he's distracting to King and I hate him _I hate him I HATE HIM_!"

Urahara abandoned the thought of ever hearing again, but he did perk up in interest. "Ichigo has a boyfriend? A _pervertic _boyfriend?"

"Yeah, an even bigger pervert than you are," Shiro said, sulking.

_Oh._

_Ouch._

He backtracked his steps, gasping. "A bigger pervert than _me!?_ This is _unacceptable!_" The Sarcasm of all Sarcasm, but Shiro didn't register it.

"I know, right!?" Shiro demanded, stomping everywhere and waving his hands up in the air like a madman. "I didn't even know sickos like him _existed. _I thought _you _were the only one, oh my effin' gawd! And he's not even _as old _as _you_ are!"

Urahara's eye twitched.

"Not to mention that he actually flaunts out the aura of a Rich Bastard_ more than you!_"

Urahara smiled disarmingly, a small vein popping on his head. "Oi..."

"And he actually _dresses right. _In the latest fashion! The nerve of him! I thought sickos were supposed to have old, dirty clothes with clogs for shoes and stupid hats that -"

"Getting back to the point," Urahara interrupted loudly, even though Shiro hated being interrupted, "Who is this guy?"

Shiro grabbed his shirt and throttled Urahara. "I don't _know!_ He popped up out of nowhere! If you have any information on this Hiroshi Aizen-_bastard, _give it to meeee!"

_Hiroshi Aizen -_

_Aizen?_

_Wait, why the hell does he have a different first name?_

_And Ichigo's meeting up with him!?_

_No, better question - why the hell isn't he __**working!?**_

"Nope, never heard of him," Urahara said with a straight face.

"Are you _sure? _Can't I just take one look in your computer records -"

"_NO."_ Like hell he was going to have this force of nature anywhere _near _his computers.

_You owe me big time, Sousuke_.

Shiro put on a sulking face. "_Fine._"

"Uh - Hat and Clogs? Since when did you get here?" Ichigo asked distantly, staring blankly at the old man, then at Shiro, then back again. Shiro was the one who filled in the details.

"You were too busy _ignoring _everything else around you, remember?" Shiro slouched down, facing a corner. "Stupid twin brothers."

"Oh yeah." Ichigo sighed happily, but then shook himself out of it, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "So what's up, old man?"

Shiro whined.

"You're ignoring me again!"

"I'm not ignoring you."

"Nothing much, was just taking a stroll before I saw _Shiro _here, screaming out loud at the top of his lungs about some pervert groping you." Urahara's head inclined mischeviously. "Is that your boyfriend at work, Ichi-kwee? The one that I remembered a few days ago you said _wasn't _your boyfriend but now totally is?"

Ichigo's cheeks _blazed_ red and he tripped over his words.

"Don't call me that! And - not. Okay, well, it's not. Official. Or anything. But he's not my boyfriend, all right?" Ichigo ended, shifting his feet. "He's. Just. Someone I likethat's_all._"

"Ohohohohoho! Ichigo likes someoneeee!" Urahara teased. "Such is the life of a virile youth! I am so proud of you, Ichi-kweeeee!"

"Stop calling me that!"

Shiro heard it anyway, and he sulked even more.

"How can you like such a pervertic sicko!"

"He's not a pervertic sicko, Shiro!"

"Ichi-kweeeeee!" Urahara strode off, leaving both of them on the sidewalk as he changed his mindless wandering to get to a destination. "I'll see you later!"

"Stop calling me Ichi-kwee!"

"_Kiiiiing!_"

Time to meet up with that so-called 'pervertic sicko'. He turned down another corner, and was about to flag a taxi when a familiar voice rang through the air.

"KISUKE, WHERE IS YORUICHI-SAMA!?"

He ran for his life.

xoxox

xoxox

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

Was the first thing that left Grimmjow's mouth, and Shiro glared.

"You aren't looking too good yourself, Pussycat."

Grimmjow groaned, shielding his eyes. "Okay, I don't need this. Strawberry, what the fuck is he doing here."

"Stop acting like a kid and deal with the fact my psychotic twin brother is here to stay, Grimmy, at least for a few days," Ichigo said dismissively, already taking off his shoes and putting them to the side. His apartment was still clean. _Good._ "And Shiro, don't maim Grimmjow in any way whatsoever. You're _still _forbidden from entering the kitchen.

"Aw, man!"

Ichigo flopped down to the couch beside Grimmjow. Shiro immediately followed, but on Ichigo's other side. "You don't look too good."

"You think?" Grimmjow snapped, clutching his stomach and rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "I will never look at sushi the same way ever _again._"

"Do I want to know?"

"Eating contest. Too much sushi. Won't give up," Grimmjow grunted.

"... A sushi eating _contest? _What the hell have you been _doing?_" Ichigo asked blankly, then sighed before Grimmjow could respond. "So I'm guessing you won, like always?"

...

...

...

"Er."

Ichigo deadpanned. "You lost."

"I didn't lose! It was a freaking _tie! _The restaurant ran out of sushi!" Grimmjow retorted, hiding his face. "It's seriously a 'wtf' moment, but what the hell!"

"Yep. He lost alright," Shiro said gleefully. Ichigo simply stared.

"Wow, I know that you have a bottomless pit for a stomach, Grimmjow, so for you to lose is just... Sad."

"Like I keep telling you, they ran out of sushi!"

"Yeaaaah, we believe you."

"So who's this guy, anyway?"

"That same dude who called me Jagarjak," Grimmjow said, shrugging. "You can call him Ulqui."

"... What kind of name is that?" Shiro asked bluntly, and Grimmjow glared. "Man, first _Grimmjow_, and now _Urkwee._ What the hell were your parents on when they had you guys?"

"It's _Ulqui! _But he's a real bitch - wouldn't back out even at the last second. So pity my guts, guys. He even stole my burrito!"

"So _that's _the guy who you've been crapping about for the past few days."

"No shit! But I got back at him though - it was damn sweet teasing him; he wrestled me down and was about to kiss me but then I had to puke. Ugh, talk about max moodbreaker."

Ichigo and Shiro glanced at each other meaningfully.

"You know, if I didn't know any better..."

"You like him, don'tcha Pussycat?"

Grimmjow sputtered.

"He's my freaking rival; and all the times before I was just teasing him! I don't like _like _him."

"... Did you just say like _like?_"

"Like like. That's so preschool..."

"Ugh. Okay. Fine. I don't know about the whole liking part, but I know I probably wanna get in his pants..." Grimmjow trailed, thoughts sidetracking.

_Guh._

_Ohhh yeah._

"You're drooling all over yourself, Grimmy."

"Sorry," Grimmjow said nonchalantly, shrugging as he wiped the trail from his mouth. "He's dead sexy even if he's socially retarded. At least I don't deny what I feel, unlike _some _people." Grimmjow leered at Ichigo.

He stared, then started to shrink backwards. "What?" he asked, voice small.

"So how's your _boyfriend?_" Grimmjow asked, then noticed the package Ichigo was holding all this time from Chapter Seven. "That a present from him?"

Ichigo stared down and noticed it. "Oh yeah -"

"_Fuck the what he gave you __**something**__?" _Shiro screeched, blasting a whole level of screaming at Grimmjow's ears. He scrambled for the present but Ichigo quickly dodged, running to his room at insane speeds. "Let me _burn _that -"

Ichigo slammed the door shut and slid down to the floor, grateful that his room was soundproof. Let Grimmjow wallow in the pain of losing his hearing.

On the other hand...

_What the hell is this?_

Ichigo tore open the unassuming wrapper and held up the garment. It was a jacket - white, with abstract, sleek black outlines which smelled like Aizen's cologne. There was a note with it.

_I owed you a jacket. Let's play tennis later._

"Oh."

He bunched up the jacket in his hands, placed it against his blushing face and grinned.

Then obsessively sniffed it.

xoxox

_xoxox_

_Chapter Nine End._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

A/N: ... I'm sorry. Maybe Ichigo has a perfume fetish. I DUNNOS. Ugh. I don't like this chapter. Except for the sniffing part.

Soifon just cracks me up, man.

Well, have a nice day! :D


	10. Heart Attack Special

**Bonds**

by Impervious Marr

xoxox

Summary: Con artists on a 'holiday', Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy stalkers and men in clogs - while avoiding being caught, of course. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack, FLUFF; and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: ;w; -shot for appearing- CHAPTER TEN! WHEE!

Well, even ater I said that I'll update this chapter quickly... Well, whaddya know?! I have exams! 8D WOO! So it sucks. Basically. Yeah. Will reply to reviews... Eventually. T.T I'm so sorry, guys.

Enjoy the chapter? Not much action between our two main couples, though. Sad. ;x; This is like... A filler... -shotshotshot-

Well, you get to see Gin in his pwning glory? ;w;

I DO NOT OWN TOM CLANCY'S RAINBOW SIX VEGAS TWO.

Thank you. :D Read and review please.

xoxox

xoxox

_10_

_Heart Attack Special_

xoxox

xoxox

Gin took a liking to emphasising the 'hell' in the 'hello' these days. Aizen assumed the sudden change was a big fat sign screaming at him to run very _far away, _just for the sake of his health.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), he was still alive.

"Hello, Gin."

"_Hell-_o, Aizen-sama!" Ichimaru Gin said cheerfully, not taking his eyes off the computer screen as he did so. The optical mouse moved at insanely fast speeds, as did his left fingers on the keyboard. "How's vacation?"

"It's fine -"

_**BAM! BAMBAMABAM!**_

"_Woo yeah_! I'm in yer bunker, killingz yer terrorists; you suckers ain't got nothin' on _mah skillz!_"

Aizen stared at the abuse dished out by Gin to the poor keys on the keyboard. The cries for help from the computer were almost synonymous with the imaginary voices in his head as his mind headed for a meltdown.

"... I see you've found a new hobby..."

"Yep!" Gin exclaimed brightly, before he snarled at the screen. "What the - oi! NO! Fucking KS-er! You just don't _do _that to _me - Shinsou - _goddamn it!"

Then he laughed maniacally as the computer cranked out a '_**BOOM**_'.

"Yeah, baby, feel the pain, _feel the pwnageeeee of my C4s, oh yeah._"

"... So I give you_ control _of the company and you sit in here playing _video games_?"

"Of course not! It's _Rainbow Six, DUH._ And it's just a lil' break! Unlike you, Aizen-sama, I know when to take one," he said, looking up from his monitor for a split second. Then his jaw went slack. "Oh my god. I just did the headshots of all headshots and I didn't even see that! Look what you _did, _Aizen-sama!"

His eye twitched ominously. Rainbow What The Six - okay, he didn't even _want _to know.

"Look at what you're _not _doing, should be the exclamation here. Have you sorted out _anything_ at all since I was gone?"

"Oh, _that,_" Gin said nonchalantly, not looking up from the screen. "I fired everybody, just like you said!"

...

...

...

Aizen stared, and coughed discreetly, going over his lieutenant's words.

"... Everyone... _Incompetent_, I believe?"

Gin gave him a funny look. "Of course! Wait - oh. _OH - _what the - you thought I fired _everybody_!?" Gin whined, and Aizen coughed again, looking to the side. "I'm not _that _stupid!"

... _Well, actually -_

Aizen whistled, looking at everywhere except Gin.

"_Hey!"_ Gin sulked, crossing his arms. Then that grin spread again. He paused his game, stood up and paced towards Aizen as he fired off questions faster than his ability to give his boss small heart attacks. "So how's Ichi? Did ya get him more chocolates? Are ya goin' out with him some more? What did he say when you visited him this mornin'? You came back late - wait, wait, wait! I got a better question! So did ya _kiss him already_!" Gin shook Aizen by the shoulders. "I need detaaaaails!"

Aizen blinked. "Who the what - Ichigo's fine. No, I didn't get him more chocolates. Yes, I'm 'going out with him some more'. And before that... _How_ did you know I visited him this morning?" Aizen asked, with a paranoid look in his eyes and a twitching smile.

...

...

...

Gin backpedaled.

"Hello, Aizen-sama! Beautiful day, isn't it? The sun's shining and the birds are singing!" Gin exclaimed, turning around to look at the windows. It was about to rain and the crows were cawing at him to fuck off. His face fell and he quickly stamped it back on, going full-speed-sprint on his next words. "Well nevermind! And nope, I never posted any stalkers on you to report if you're actually relaxing and not doing work! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"

Traumatized Aizen-style Super Move Expression smacked across Aizen's face like a dead fish. (Which was to say not really a significant difference in his usual smiles, just that this one has a lot more twitching involved.)

"You posted a _stalker?_"

_Fuck, I'm a dumbass._

Gin backpedaled some more.

"Um. No."

Aizen gave him a _Look. _Being in the business with the man for years, Gin already knew how to read a specific _Look._

_Yeah. Right._

"But it was -"

Aizen raised an eyebrow.

_... You're Aren't Denying This._

"It was - I can't. But - It was - ItwasRan-Ran'sidea I _swear,_" Gin wailed, giving up, waving his hands pathetically. "She wanted details about little _Ichiiii-kuuuuun_ - don't look at me like that!"

"Gin. I give you control of my Corporation to see you playing video games and posting _stalkers _to me. How am I _supposed _to react?" Aizen asked, with a tone of incredulity and a raised eyebrow.

Gin shifted his feet in a mock imitation of guilt.

"Um..."

_Shuffle shuffle._

"... Well."

...

...

...

"... I like cake?"

Aizen screamed mentally, rubbing the spot in between his two eyebrows as he refrained from bashing his head against the wall.

_Of all the people in the world - I swear - this is just - I am going to __**die**__ from a coronary!_

"So um." Gin took out a pen out of nowhere and a notepad, grinning widely as his previous predicament was forgotten. "Did you or did you not kiss him?"

Aizen twitched, breathing in and out as steadily as he could. He failed.

_Aizen Sousuke, CEO of Sousuke Corporation Dies of Sudden Heart Attack._

_Interactions With Ichimaru Gin Suspected Cause._

Yeah, that would be a plausible way to die.

Aizen shook his head, and looked curiously at the papers on the desk. Before he could say anything more, the secretary's voice rang through the air from the intercom.

_"Aizen-sama, Ichimaru-sama, there is a - eeek! - man who wants to see you -"_

The microphone was wrestled out of the poor woman.

_"Sousuke, did you hire a new secretary?"_

Aizen half-grimaced and half-chuckled. "No, as a matter of fact my secretary is on vacation. Come on in."

The double doors opened and stepped in a shabbily dressed man in a long jacket, a striped hat on his head - and clogs click-clacking against the tiles.

Gin grinned widely, pausing his game. "Ki-chan!"

"Gin-chan!" Amused, Urahara flopped down on an armchair, sighing happily. "I got away from that creepy stalker."

"You have a stalker?" At that question, Aizen looked pointedly at Gin. '_This is not over yet.'_

"Nah, she's Yoruichi's. I'm just the unfortunate roomie."

Aizen pressed on the button of the intercom as he barked out orders. "Get someone to bring up tea for three people. Make sure they mix the tea in _before _the water boils - put in two sugars for one of them. Gin, Kisuke?"

"Two for me!"

"One, please."

"You heard them. Now step on it."

"_Y-Yes, Aizen-sama._"

"So what brings you here?"

"Eh, do I have to have a reason to visit my old pal Sousuke-kun?" Urahara asked, tilting his head to the side. Aizen promptly gave him a withering look, and Urahara laughed sheepishly. "Good point. All jokes aside, we're supposed to be rivals, aren't we?"

'_You're asking a stupid question'._

"I'm asking a stupid question."

"Why, yes," Aizen said pleasantly, sitting down in the two-seater opposite him.

They stared at each other, gauging the best possible way to start the conversation - their eyes calculative and all seeing. As the two greatest minds in the room pondered on this, Gin on the other hand, was happily blasting off people's heads in the background.

Urahara kept the stare on for a mere two more seconds -

'_**Promoted to next rank, Lieutenant!'**_

_**-**_ before snapping his head at Gin, mouth going slack. "Gin-chan, that is _so _not _Vegas_ 2, is it? It's not even _in _the freaking stores yet!"

"I know," Gin said smugly. "It was a special order. Things _happened _to the game production crew and I got the copy earlier than _everybody else._"

Aizen slapped his forehead as the gamer-lingo flew around the room, previous staring showdown completely forgotten.

_And I thought that you, of all people, Kisuke, would be mature enough to - wait. What am I saying? _

_Kisuke? Urahara __**Kisuke?**_

_**Mature!?**_

_..._

_..._

_Oh dear lord._

Aizen looked up from his thoughts and looked at Urahara. "Now what was it you wanted from me, Kisuke?"

"Not really nothing much. I just, you know. _Saw you and Ichi-kun together._"

Urahara leered and Aizen stared blankly.

...

...

"Yes?"

Urahara rolled his eyes. "Sousuke, Gin and I can do the _WTF _face, but not you. You're too refined to be below us -" _"Why, thank you_," Aizen said, but Urahara ignored this, "- and you know who I'm talking about. Kid with the orange hair with the albino monster of a twin, college student from Karakura College, major of literature and all that - _Kurosaki Ichigo, _who else?"

"Ichi-kun?" Gin asked, looking up from his computer.

Before scowling again at a kill-steal.

"You got me," Aizen said pleasantly, leaning backwards to the couch. "What about him?"

"Eh, nothing," Urahara replied dismissively, waving a hand to the side. "Just don't hurt him or anything. Get my meaning?"

"On the contrary, I don't see the point. So who is he? A lackey of yours?" Aizen asked, and the woman with the tea tray came in the room demurely. He dismissed her without a second thought, and was soon sipping on his tea.

"Ichigo is Isshin's and Masaki's kid," Urahara deadpanned, and Aizen swallowed the burning hot tea.

He choked, gagged silently and coughed to the side loudly. It took him a while to get his breathing back to normal.

"He's Isshin's and Masaki's -"

"Yep."

"And that abomination called _Shiro _is Isshin's -"

"Yep."

"You knowing him means that he's a -"

"Yep."

"And -"

"Yep."

"But I trust you to not issue orders of such atrocities, amirite?" Aizen asked disarmingly, and Kisuke shrugged.

"He's a freelancer now. Talented enough to fill in his own shoes, so I can't make any guaranteees that he won't hit your place... But he's definitely smitten with ya," Urahara teased. Aizen smirked.

"But of course. I _am _Aizen _Sousuke, _after all."

"Yeah, Aizen Sousuke, after all..." Urahara pondered on this for a bit, before shrugging and getting up from his seat. "So I guess that's it for today. Remember, we're supposed to be rivals at the moment! I'm just doin' ya a favor by tellin' you this. Now we're even, right?"

Aizen looked at him. When Urahara's smile turned into a grin, he snorted.

"No. It just means that you're being kind."

Urahara's face fell as he grumbled, and got up.

"Well, be that way then! At least show me some gratitude for laying Shiro off your tracks."

Aizen snorted elegantly. "More like you trying to fish favors from me. I know how you think, Kisuke. You probably didn't want Shiro to touch your precious computers."

"Damn, you were always too smart."

"We're both too smart, Kisuke."

"Eh... So, are ya ever gonna tell him?"

Aizen couldn't help the pondering look he had, but shook it off.

"He'll find out soon enough. How about your tea?"

"Gin-chan can finish it for me. Am I right, Gin-chan?"

_**BAM!**_

Gin suddenly slammed his hand down on the table and stood up, practically jumping around at the win - waving his hands up in the air and running around.

While singing.

OFF KEY.

"_WOOHOO! KAMIKAZE SHINSOU FOR THE PWNAGE!"_

The mantra voice in Aizen's mind was dying quickly.

...

...

_I don't need to get a new lieutenant._

_I don't need to get a new lieutenant._

_I don't need to -_

_"__**- gonnneee withhh the LOSERS 'cause I AM THE CHAAAAMPIOOOON; OF THE WAAAAAARLDDD -"**_

... _I need to get a new lieutenant._

Urahara beamed at Aizen's resigned look.

"I'll see you later. Err... Oh, right." Urahara stopped halfway through the door, tilting his head lightly. "If I remember correctly... The Kuchiki's function is next month, right?"

"Yes."

"You gonna come over?"

Gin paused in his dancing and looked up, grinning. "So, whatcha say, Aizen-sama?"

Trauma aside, Urahara was right. If he didn't remind him about it then he would've certainly forgot. The dark-haired man in question looked to the side thoughtfully.

"I suppose..."

xoxox

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_The Next Day_

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"So are you coming later? I mean, it's okay if you don't want to, because of my brother and all..." Rukia asked, tilting her head slightly. "It's next month, but I gotta get the invitations ready by next week."

"Yeah, Bya-_chan_ doesn't like us much, does he?" Grimmjow said dryly, stirring his abomination of a soup. It was from the cafeteria.He likened the stiff prude of the name Kuchiki _Byakuya-__**chan**_to this plop other people call lunch.

He never really liked Byakuya - the same reason why he never liked Ishida either_._

"So what's this about again?"

Renji simply listened, gulping down his own foodstuff.

"I told you, it's like a function... Um, to celebrate his new fiancee's birthday."

Renji sputtered everything out into the floor. He coughed. Then he promptly shook the midget by the shoulders.

"Byakuya's _engaged_!?"

"Yeah. I don't really talk about the fiancee much." Rukia laughed nervously, before it died. Then she had a solemn expression on her face. "She's scary. She says that she's in love with my brother but she has like this obsession over this chick called Yoruichi-san."

Renji and Grimmjow glanced at each other, with horrified expressions.

_Soi Fon? BYAKUYA?_

_Mrs. Kuchiki Soi FON!?_

_No. Fucking. WAY._

Then she shuddered.

"The horror... The pictures everywhere. Oh _god._"

Grimmjow and Renji stared at her, before the red-haired college student patted her hair awkwardly.

"Um. It'll be okay. Eventually -"

"She actually asked for the _refrigerator MODEL _that Yoruichi _USES._"

" - um, in the far, far future." Renji looked at Grimmjow once. "Well, she sounds nice? I guess. Gonna come over then, Grimm?"

"I need the date and the time," Grimmjow said lazily, rubbing his face.

"Um, 29th February. Actually her birthday's on the 11th of February but Nii-sama wouldn't be around at the time, so he wanted it to be extra special."

"Okay... Not occupied then. I'll ask Strawberry to confirm it, but other than that it should be good."

Rukia squealed at the mention of Ichigo. "Thank you! Then I won't be alone!" She giggled, then waved at them as she walked away. "I'll see you two later!"

They watched as Rukia stumbled on her two feet before giggling again and disappearing with hearts in her eyes.

...

...

...

...

"She doesn't know, does she?" Grimmjow asked blandly, still stirring his soup.

Renji blinked. "About Ichigo?" he asked, drinking his juice.

"Er, yeah. _Duh._ His boyfriend. Whatever he wants to call him. It's hilarious... By the way," Grimmjow said lightly - before grinning a pure evil grin. "Shiro's back in town -"

_**PSSSFHS**_

Renji glared when Grimmjow laughed hysterically, and wiped the juice off his face. "Dude! Give me a warning next time if you want to talk about Shiro_saki_!" Renji hissed warily, while looking around. Saying the infamous albino's name was like bringing down a curse on you or some shit like that.

Grimmjow looked at him.

Then laughed again.

Renji scowled.

"Don't fuck with me like that man! Shiro's a serious threat to my health!"

Grimmjow finished laughing it all out, then wiped the tears from his eyes and snorted. "He's a threat to _everybody's_ health. But anyway, I'm not kidding. He really is around; you're lucky today Ichi's not in, or else Shiro's gonna be screamin' all over."

"Yeah, I forgot the little shit was a screamer..."

xoxox

Yeah.

A screamer.

"_**AHHHHHHHH! WHY THAT PERVERTIC SICKO I'MMA TEAR. HIM. APARTT!**_"

Ichigo sighed neutrally. His hearing was lost long ago now, and Shiro still wouldn't give it up until Ichigo said no.

Well.

Now he wanted to say yes, so Shiro would just have to _deal with it._

"Shiro!" Ichigo shouted sharply, and Shiro immediately stopped, blinking. "Look, you don't like this one bit, and I don't like how you're screaming around, but sometimes you gotta learn that I can take care of myself."

Shiro looked down, pouting.

"But I don't like him."

"Why not?"

"He's suspicious and he's perverted and he's interrupts me!" Shiro declared, stomping his feet. Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "How can you like him!? I don't get it! He's such a - bastard!"

"That's it?"

Shiro shifted his feet guiltily.

"Shiro, you said you'll lay off him."

"I - I am! Will. Eventually." He mumbled something under his breath, looked down, and Ichigo sighed, moving closer.

"Shiro..."

"... I don't want him to take you away..."

"Come on." Ichigo hugged him immediately, and Shiro snaked his own arms around his twin brother's shoulders. "You know that won't happen, right?"

"Yeah but..."

"No buts. Now I'm going to play tennis with Aizen -" Shiro hissed audibly at the word and Ichigo laughed - " - while you have fun. Go walk around or something, it'll cool your head. Besides..." Ichigo smirked a very un-Ichigo smirk. "You can keep _Kisuke_ company, _eh_, twin brother of mine?"

There was a long...

...

_Long_...

...

Long silence before Shiro shrieked and pushed away from Ichigo's hug, blushing a brighter than red blush. He sputtered a few words out but Ichigo got the meaning.

"How did you where did you when did you - I DO NOT!"

"Come on, it was so obvious. You don't call anybody else with their real name." He laughed as he ducked from a punch. "And your reaction just _nails_ it, man! You really do like the pervertic old man, don't cha?"

"La la _la, _I'm not listening!" Shiro said, stuffing his ears with his fingers. Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle. "Shut up, Ichigo! That's a big fat lie! Good boys never lie!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not stopping you from chasin' him or anythin'. Go for it!"

"I said I don't like him! In! That! Way!"

"Which way?" Ichigo asked, and Shiro threw him out of the room, screeching.

"_NOT TALKING TO YOU!"_

Score one for the Berry-Head! Ichigo patted himself at the back for a job well done. He never really expected his younger brother to act like that; he only said Kisuke because it was the first thing that came into his head, but when he thought about it...

_Yeah, it actually kinda fits._

Blackmail material had never smelled so good. Bonus!

xoxox

xoxox

Class was over for the day so he didn't really have anything to do at the moment other than hang around and avoid Shiro at all costs. The guy was a madman and he still wanted to live, thank you very much.

Grimmjow threw the Coke can to the side again (this was becoming like routine, wasn't it?) and stared boredly at the scene in front of him.

Man.

His fingers twitched horribly and he refrained from taking his phone out. He must not -

But he had to.

But he couldn't.

But he should.

But -

_AGH! Shut up, you stupid voices in my freaking head!_

Yesterday, after the whole incident with Ulqui, the man actually did something he didn't really expect Ulqui to do, mainly because he just doesn't seem like the type to have a phone in the first place. What a stupid thought, eh?

_flashback!_

_The silence was so thick to can hit it with multiple burritos. Yep, Grimmjow strangely craved for more, even after taking that brutal beating of the Pukes back in the land of the Trashcans. He'll never look at sushi the same way again._

_Ulquiorra asked him nicely (yeah right) to drop him off at the Las Noches building. What he wanted to do at such a high-class commercial building, he didn't know._

_"Here's my number."_

_Grimmjow had to double take and triple take at the sudden sentence that spewed out of Ulquiorra's mouth._

_"Who the what now?"_

_"My number," Ulquiorra repeated, mumbling 'trash' under his breath and slipping a piece of paper into Grimmjow's hand. "Even though the day ended in my favor, you'll... Be wanting to... Get back at me. This is my number in case you want a rematch."_

_..._

_..._

_That was the lamest excuse he had ever -_

_"So, in Ulquiorra language, that means a 'Let's Go Out Sometime,' eh?" Grimmjow asked teasingly, and Ulquiorra scowled, walking into the building without another word._

_The way he moved his hips made Grimmjow stare and fuck, he wanted a piece of that ass._

_Badly._

_Looking at the piece of paper in his hands, he immediately took out his own phone and punched in the numbers, going to 'Save'. His phone beeped lightly._

_**Contact Name?**_

_Grimmjow smirked._

_!endflashback_

And that was the story. And he didn't really want a hot green-eyed guy on his tracks -

Wait.

What was he saying?

_Of course I want one, hell yeah!_

All doubts cast aside, he looked through his contacts immediately. '_**Urkwee**__' _was the one he was looking for and he pressed 'Dial'.

... _Beep beep._

_Beep beep._

_Beep bee -_

"_Hello?"_

Grimmjow felt his whole body twitch. Who the...

"Okay, who are you and what have you done to Ulquiorra?"

Fuck, it was like a voice from a walking wet phone sex dream.

_"Grimmjow. I just woke up. It's me._" He could vaguely make out 'Fucking Heathen Trash' in the background before Ulquiorra got back on. "_What do you want?"_

"Your voice is sexy when you're like this," Grimmjow supplied oh-so-helpfully.

...

...

_"... You woke me up for __**this piece of shit?**__"_

_Whoah, whoah, whoah! The pretty little mouth's gettin' dirty!_

Grimmjow truly felt like drooling right then and there. He smirked into the phone.

"Yeah, I'm coming over your house. Where is it?"

"_What the - you are not coming over to my house, Grimmjow!"_

"Oh, yes I am. In fact, I'm going to my car right now. Tell me your address, eh?"

_"Why don't you go and fuck off, EH?"_ Ulquiorra asked politely and coldly and in that extremely annoyed tone, and Grimmjow could picture him twitching his eyebrow.

"Come on, Ulqui. Come on. Come onnnnnnn -"

_"The Fourth Room in the 4th Avenue building now just shut. Up," _Ulquiorra groaned. There was a shuffling sound, and a long silence. Then brutal gunshots rang through the earpiece. Grimmjow jerked away.

_What the fucking shit was that?!_

"Ulquiorra!?"

"_I said shut up I'm shooting birds down you fu - BEEEEEEE -"_

Grimmjow looked down on his phone, already poised to drive in his car, hands over the steering wheel. Then he shut it off and stared blankly in front of him, cocking an eyebrow.

_To drive towards the seriously-not-a-morning-person, green-eyed, fucking cute and dead sexy maniac-stalker with a freaking gun to shoot down birds - or run for my life?_

His inner self laughed hysterically.

_Man, that's a stupid question to ask._

Grimmjow grinned and slammed on the accelerator.

Definitely the sexy maniac.

xoxox

_xoxox_

_Chapter Ten End._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

A/N: ... Falling asleep on the keyboard with Biology exams tomorrow... x.x

Well, have a nice day! :D


	11. Act of Contrition

**Bonds**

By Impervious Marr

xoxox

_A/N: Very, very, very late update. I'm so sorry, guys. I had no internet. The only access point is my mom's laptop that she's using for her thesis. I can't bother her. And also her phone, but fanfiction dot net was acting all weird in the phone so I didn't trust it. :O I'm sorry._

_That's why this chapter isn't formatted like the others._

_Not to mention I lost all the data… Eh._

_And then you know. The whole bullshit and drama concerning These Melodies. (I'm only partially annoyed, more amused, now.)_

_Read and review, please! :D_

xoxox

11

Act of Contrition

xoxox

xoxox

"Stupid Ichigo!"

Shiro wasn't a happy camper at the moment.

Yes, he's still sulking about the fact that Ichigo _knew. _How in the hell did he know, he didn't want to know, but goddamn it, man! He had rights! He had – well, truth be told, so did Ichigo. Even his brother had rights to who he wanted to go out with.

_Go out with._

_Go out with._

Shiro twitched.

_You just __**shut the fuck up, **__you stupid brain._

Especially when it had anything to do with his brother going out with that – that – oh, man, he didn't even want to think about _him._

Which brings him back to the point – how in the hell…

Well, at least Ki wasn't anywhere near hearing range when Ichigo opened his big fat mouth. Otherwise, Shiro wouldn't be outside at the moment, strolling and _sulking –_ and looking at the ground as if it absolutely disgusted him. Instead, he would've flagged down for a cab to the airport and flown to the southernmost part of the world, consequences be damned.

It wasn't fair at all. Ichigo found someone, hell, even Blue Pussy had someone, but he was, well, he was in love with the same guy whose apartment was blown to pieces courtesy of a bomb that Shiro himself sent. How ironic.

Really, really.

Shiro sat down on the bench to think about his situation because damn it, he can't just wing it especially if it's about Urahara Kisuke.

He started liking the man ever since… Ever since Ichigo got to know him, actually. He chased the dude around with a knife for even daring to go close to Ichigo. (Yeah, he was a lot more possessive back in the day.)

_Flashback!_

"_Don't even think about getting close to my brother, you stupid dumbfuckin' old man, or yer seriously gonna get it!"_

"_Shiro, no! That's my boss!"_

_Yeah, he was holding a knife. Yeah, he was chasing a person around while holding a knife. Yeah, he might get arrested._

_But no way in hell would he stand to the side when some creepy old man might be feeling up his brother in some creepy old alleys out of his sight out of nowhere! Which was way far from the truth, but hell, it could happen. It said so on the TV. The TV __**never ever ever **__lied to him before!_

"_Kid, you might want to put that thing down before someone gets hurt."_

_He was a blond decked out in clogs and a bucket-hat striped with white and green. That stubble annoyed Shiro to no ends, like seriously, after gutting the man he was going to shave that thing off._

"_Someone __**is **__going to get hurt, and that guy's you! Now stay still so I can gut you alive!"_

_The guy gave him a funny look, before standing __**really **__still and cocking an eyebrow at him._

"_OK, I'm all yours. Gut me."_

…

…

_Shiro stared at him as if he was a fucktard._

"_What the fuck, Hat and Clogs, are you fucking crazy!?" Ichigo screeched, hair almost turning white. "He'll fucking do it! He really will! Reverse psychology doesn't work on Shiro, I've tried!"_

"_Well, since he wants to die, Ichigo, we can't deprive the man of his last wishes." Shiro grinned evilly, and pounced._

_**SLAM**_

_And that dude actually had the nerve to sidestep and pin him to the fucking wall._

_Wow._

_Just, wow._

_Shiro's eyes widened as he struggled, __**hard, **__but who knew that such a thin looking dude would be so fucking strong? The knife was promptly taken away off his hands and he couldn't help but whine loudly._

"_That's so not fair! Give that thing back!"_

"_How about a no, eh?" the man said cheerfully. "I like my life at the moment. Now I'm letting you go now before you start to bruise, but we're going to agree to play nicely or else. Understood?"_

_Ichigo slapped his forehead. Obviously Urahara had no idea who he was dealing with here._

_Shiro simply shrieked louder. "I'm not some fucking girl you fucking __**retard**__! Now let me go so I can really do some gutting!"_

"_I can see what you mean, he really is cute," the man said offhandedly, and looked at Ichigo. "So this is what you have to deal with?"_

_The orange-haired boy sighed loudly, before smiling affectionately at Shiro. "Almost every single time. No one's killed yet, though."_

_The man laughed, and turned back to Shiro, holding a staring contest and looking _straight.

_Shiro squirmed, glared back, and… Abruptly turned red. Till today, he was still grateful that even Ichigo couldn't distinguish if he was embarrassed or angry when he's blushing – but he definitely is embarrassed now. Nobody that he chased around because of Ichigo actually called him __**cute **__before, right in his face after slamming him onto the wall. (Granted, no one was actually able to pin him down before save for his twin.)_

_So blush he did._

_And he struggled even more._

"_Let me goooooooooo!" he whined, before sniffing. "Ichigooooo! I'm getting people cooties!"_

_Ichigo gave him a funny look. "No, you're not. And old man, I strongly suggest you don't –"_

"_Since you asked so nicely, I let go." The dude promptly released his grip, and then grinned playfully. "Now let's just get along –"_

_**BAM!**_

"_**OW, SHIT!"**_

"_- let him go…" Ichigo finished lamely then sighed. "He'll just hit you again."_

_His boss just reeled on the floor, flipping him the middle finger while holding his balls. Shiro looked down at him, cheeks still heated and – and – and –_

_He didn't like this feeling, damn it!_

_Later on he would find out that the old man in question was Urahara Kisuke, and he committed the name to heart._

_End Flashie!_

So he did.

And _later _after that, he found out that he really, really, really liked said Urahara Kisuke. Really. Even when he also found out that Kisuke said those words out of boredom and not really meaning it but – well, love _is _blind.

He even flew out of the country just so he could avoid the old man – but apparently it didn't work. He's still smitten. _Hard._

The only other person to know about it was Yoruichi, and even then it was because she was too damn smart for her own good. _Women. _Pssh. They know _everything. _It didn't help much either when every single time he was with Kisuke said that dark-haired chick would make not-so-subtle gestures for him to do something. Well, sorry if he wasn't doing anything – if the latest reaction to his arrival told him something, it'll have to be the fact that Kisuke was _not _interested.

He sniffed again, snarling violently at a group of teenage boys who wanted to pick a fight with him. They quickly backed off.

At least nobody's gonna die today.

Lucky bastards.

Xoxox

Ichigo looked curiously at the looming clouds above, wondering if Shiro wasn't stupid enough to stay outside for too long.

Wait.

_This is Shiro we're talking about here, dumbass._

_Thank you, _Ichigo replied dryly, silently acknowledging that fact. Given that the albino was, well, Shiro, he would probably do the exact opposite of what Ichigo would hope.

But then again, since it _is _Shiro, surprises are always around the corner.

But then again –

_Just shut the fuck up and find your boyfriend._

_He's not my –_

_Yeah, and I'm a flying pig on a jet plane. We've all heard that one, sweetie, keep up with the program._

Ichigo sulked.

Well, he was already outside the main building where he was supposed to meet up with Aizen. Everyone was giving him funny looks what with the color of his hair, but he's given up trying to tell them that it was natural. Let them think that he was a punk, just, whatever.

And these clothes were starting to get itchy. Leave it to him to dress up for the occasion.

And Aizen's late. By a minute, or two, but, well… He was the one who came early…

"Do you really miss me that much to sulk when I'm a minute late?"

"Do you automatically assume things to stroke your already inflated ego?" Ichigo replied automatically, before backing up and looking at the one who - oh. His cheeks colored immediately. "Um, hi."

"Hello to you too," Aizen said, chuckling. He adjusted the duffle bag slung over his shoulder. "Sorry that I'm late."

Ichigo tried very, very hard not to stare, but honestly, he should give up trying. The man looked good in anything and everything really – and decked out in sports gear just made him want to kidnap the man and lock him up in the closet.

_Yes. Smokin' hot male in closet for you to play with. De-li-cious._

_STFU, brain!_

"I-It's okay. You look hot. And I didn't mean it," Ichigo said distractedly, fidgeting in his own clothes. He was too aware of the eyes that roamed around his scrawny self. Aizen simply cocked an eyebrow. "I mean. You do look hot. What I mean is I didn't mean it about the whole ego thing – Oh, fuck." He buried his head in his hands, flushing a fierce red. "… I should just give up, shouldn't I?"

"You should. I like making you speechless." Then the man kissed him. "You look great – those shorts do wonders for your butt."

Ichigo stared, before shaking his head and blushing and _**then **_grumbling, stomping first into the country club's lobby entrance. "Leave my butt out of this."

"No can do. It's a cute butt; I have designs for it already." Aizen grinned, stealing a grope before chuckling again and going towards the counter to check-in. Ichigo simply squawked and glared, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

At least the staff didn't say anything – or gave any indication that they noticed other than a slight cough.

Oh, he was going to kill the man.

Slowly.

"So did you bring a racquet?"

Ichigo waved a racquet in front of his face, giving Aizen a funny look.

"I'm just checking; don't give me that look."

"Well it's not every day that someone who wants to play tennis has no racquet to play with, am I right?" Ichigo asked, with wide, bright eyes filled with 'Hi, I'm Not a Retard'.

"Very funny." Aizen placed his bag down on the bench and Ichigo only noticed that they were already at the court. He set his own bag down, looking up later only to see Aizen's back turned on him. His eyes immediately dropped down to his ass. "Warm up; before we start?"

_Do not think of his perfectly formed ass._

_Oh wait._

"Err, yeah, sure," Ichigo said just to cut off his thoughts, immediately setting to stretch his neck – and downwards towards his limbs. When he got to his hips, he turned around to make more room for his legs to spread out. He stretched his fingers to touch his toes.

"So, Ichigo, a three match game?" Aizen was about to take a drink, looking up at the younger male – and instead got a full view of - _Oh. Dear. Lord_. "_**PFFSHHHH –**_"

Ichigo stopped, straightening up and blinking. "Aizen?"

"N… Nothing. Three match game it is."

"… Uh, did you just spray yourself with your drinking water?"

"Yes. Yes I did," Aizen replied, face unchanging. "I'll just finish the rest now."

Ichigo gave him a funny look.

"O… Kay." He turned back to his stretching, bending down some more. "Hey, Aizen –"

"_**PSHHHFF!"**_

Ichigo jumped, turning back. More water! He blinked. "Aizen!"

"Well I'm sorry for having such a wonderful view of your ass which is, quite frankly, disrupting me from my need of drinking," Aizen said dryly, and Ichigo turned red. But then he brightened, a mischievous look coming to his face as he smirked.

He tugged on his shorts, and Aizen twitched.

"You better not do that."

"Sorry."

"And don't even think of distracting me during our match, Ichigo."

"… I didn't say anything," Ichigo sang. Aizen rolled his eyes, and then walked up to the court, a ball and a racquet in each hand.

"Come on. You serve or me?"

"You," Ichigo said, completely ignoring the innuendo in that. Aizen, on the other hand, smirked – but didn't say anything more on the subject. He held the ball gingerly before throwing it up – and serving gracefully. "So how long have you been playing tennis?" Ichigo asked, in need of conversation to concentrate.

"I took it up as a sport for the weekends and my free time about two years ago; give or take. You?"

"Ex-High school champion."

Ichigo slammed the ball with his racquet and it flew to the other side – past Aizen and onto the fence. It bounced off while Ichigo smirked and Aizen blinked.

"Been playing it since I was in elementary. I'm out of practice, though."

Aizen blinked again, before smirking.

"So I can go all out with you?"

"You were holding back?" Ichigo whined, tugging on his shorts for the second time. Aizen's breath hitched and Ichigo stopped. "Whoops."

"You're not sorry at all," Aizen muttered, while Ichigo beamed.

"I didn't say anythin' about bein' sorry."

xoxox

Grimmjow eyed the apartment building in front of him.

So _this _is where the mysterious glassy-green-eyed dude lived in. Funnily enough, he used to steal from one of the rich bastards who lived in the area. And then after _that, _Urahara asked him to stay off because it was Arrancar territory – for the first time, too. He wondered if Ulqui knew anything about it.

Well, if the man did, he wouldn't be too surprised.

He gussied up outside the main entrance, brushing some invisible piece of dirt because he was vain like that, and rang the intercom doorbell thing.

Looking to the side, he spotted some flowers.

…

…

_Maybe I should've brought the guy some._

_Err, Ulquiorra's a man, if I recall, _his mind interjected politely and with a bit of a 'Hello, Stupid' tone. _He'll probably be pissed at you for bringing him flowers._

_Pissed at me?_

_Yeah. You know how he gets when he's pissed – _His mind stopped abruptly when a large grin spread through his face.

_Yep. I __**do **__know how he gets when he's pissed._

…

_Hey man, I'm in lust._

… _You stupid dumbfuck._

_Loving every minute of it, baby._

xoxox

Ulquiorra stretched his arms above himself, rubbing his eyes right after, trying to summarize the previous events mentally.

…

…

_Damn._

So when he couldn't, he took out a pen and a piece of paper, and then drew some kittens to the side before really jotting down what he was thinking.

_So here I am, waiting for Grimmjow to come to my apartment after I started to blabber it all out in my half-awake state. I really need to seek out a treatment for my strange temperament._

_They have people for this, I recall. People called shrinks, am I correct? Or are they psychiatrists? Or psychologists? Or are those different words meaning the same thing, different only because of dialects?_

…

_I'm getting off topic._

…

_Um._

_La, la, la, I'm a pretty bird in the sk_

Ulquiorra stared at the words he just wrote, and then promptly scrunched up the paper, throwing it into the wastebasket.

_That will not be acknowledged, self._

… _For once, I agree._

**BZZ!**

Ulquiorra looked up and pressed the button of the intercom near his door. "Yes?"

"_S_-_Sir, there is a man who insists that you are his guest. A, well," _the man's voice dropped considerably into a whisper, "_Ruffian, by the looks of it. With the strangest blue hair."_

A voice in the background brought him up short, and he almost smirked.

"_You freaking old man, you think I can't hear you?"_

"_Ahem. Of course we would have made him leave immediately, but he is… Very persistent –"_

"He _is _a guest of mine," Ulquiorra interrupted with disdain clear in his voice, and there was a very pregnant pause on the other side of the intercom.

A very, very long, pregnant pause. With a hacking coughing fit.

…

…

"_I may be mistaken, but did you say that he is, ahem, a guest of yours?"_

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've become sociable in the past few days; it's the end of the world. Now let him up."

"… _Oh my god," _the man said faintly, before he could hear a loud thump. While Ulquiorra was busy staring at the loudspeaker with an 'Uh?' look on his face, a shuffling sound could be heard and then Grimmjow's voice rang through the intercom.

"_Err, Ulquiorra?"_

"What happened to the –"

"_He's foaming on the mouth on the floor, mumbling about 'Schiffer has guests'. Aww, Ulqui." _He could practically hear the smirk in Grimmjow's voice as he started to laugh. "_You never told me I'm your first!"_

"But you are," Ulquiorra said blankly, and Grimmjow abruptly stopped laughing.

…

…

Then it started again.

Only then Ulquiorra realized how double meanings can totally backfire on you. He almost broke the communicator on the wall when Grimmjow suddenly sang out, "I'll see you upstairs, sweetie".

After that, he couldn't help the punch that flew out to break the intercom, while his face turned red.

Oh, he'll get back on that insufferable Jagarjak! Twitching, Ulquiorra turned around, looking around his immaculate apartment, before a sly smirk spread on his own face. Uncommon, but not rare enough that Ulquiorra hasn't had his share of the fun.

He was interrupted in his plotting by his doorbell ringing cheerfully to signify the arrival of the one and only blue-haired freak who was studying Psychology and was obsessed over Burritos.

_Your choice of partner leaves much to be desired, young grasshopper._

_And you're a figment of my imagination. Want some ice with that burn? _Ulquiorra shot back coldly, running a hand through his hair as he prepared to open the door.

It swung open without much problem, and the first things that Ulquiorra saw were flowers.

_Wait. No._

Looking closer, he realized that they were the exact same flowers found on the ground floor area of his apartment. The flowers which he planted. The flowers in which he kept in perfect, pristine condition. The flowers which Grimmjow, obviously, pulled out, to give it to him in some mocking implication that he was the girl in their relationship.

_Oh. He. Did. Not._

_Oh. He. Did Yes. Maybe you need the ice more than me sweetheart, you have some pretty bad second-degree burns down there._

_Is it too late to offer you a resignation letter?_

"Surprise!" Grimmjow grinned mischievously, pushing up the plants to Ulquiorra's hands. He simply stared dumbly as Grimmjow pushed inside to his apartment, immediately making himself at home. "Nice place."

_Sorry, but I'm enjoying this way too much._

"Grimmjow?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

Ulquiorra's fingers twitched as a psychotic smile spread through his face. If Grimmjow was feeling particularly suicidal today, then he couldn't be blamed for his possible future actions.

"That's it. I considered indulging you in the act of _kissing, _but since you are too preoccupied with annoying me, I guess we'll have to skip that, _don't we?"_ Ulquiorra said scathingly, refraining from pouting.

(Little did he know, he already was pouting, and Grimmjow loved it.)

But the blue-haired man suddenly whined.

"But I want more kisses! I'm deprived, here, Ulqui!"

"There's no way around it, Jagar_jak._" Petty, absolutely low, but Ulquiorra never restrained himself from playing dirty. Sure enough, Grimmjow twitched at the butchering of his last name.

But he didn't give up. "Ulqui!"

"I said no."

"… Okay."

Ulquiorra raised a silent eyebrow at the quick admission.

"Wait, wait, before you say anything, I wanna say something." Grimmjow rummaged through his pockets and brought out his cell. Then he pressed a few buttons. "See, you're on the top of my contacts list!"

…

…

…

The blinking 'URKWEE' above his number shouted at him to run the _fuck _away _now_. Or maybe _Grimmjow_ should _run _the _fuck _away _now._

"… Grimmjow, what have you been drinking, exactly?"

"Nothing much. I just missed you."

Right.

Ulquiorra blinked again, before he glared.

"Are you having mood swings? Do you feel that you need to fulfill your life with stupid, random, thoughtless actions?"

"No, I feel the need to fulfill my life with stupid, random, thoughtless actions _that _leave you completely baffled because you look totally cute when I say something stupid and you pause. Then after you stop, you blink once, and then you glare. And then, you say something completely psychotic that makes me fall even more in lust with you," Grimmjow said solemnly.

Ulquiorra paused, stopped, blinked and glared.

"I'll kill you."

And then he realized that Grimmjow was right. The blue-haired man grinned. "I _told _you so. Now pucker up and give me a kiss because I won the game."

"Wait a minute, what game – _mmm,"_ Ulquiorra blinked at the lips covering his own, and the arms around him and – fuck; you aren't supposed to do that with your tongue. That's absolutely – "G-Grimm –" He was pinned against the wall so suddenly that the only thing keeping him from hitting the man back were these dizzying kisses that he wished would just _stop _already –

_No, you want him to go on all night long, baby. Yeah, Grimmjow, keep it up! Woo!_

_I hate you and the world._

_Then I have fulfilled my purpose._

When they separated, Grimmjow simply grinned and snaked his hands around the smaller man. Said hands roamed _everywhere _before settling on his ass – then he pulled Ulquiorra flush against himself, and just gave this absolutely _smug _grin that made Ulquiorra thump his chest _hard._

So he did, but Grimmjow simply grinned wider.

"How did you do that?" Ulquiorra asked, completely befuddled and he felt so very hot and he just wanted more. He furrowed his eyebrows, giving in to the urge to pout.

Oh, Grimmjow was too good at this.

"It's called using my resources. I'm too used to persuading people that fast-talkin' is one of my best skills. Come on, I study Psychology – I should learn a thing or two, right? And hey, it got me a hot, hot kiss," Grimmjow explained proudly, going for the bathroom. "Be back in a bit."

Translation to Ulquiorra: You're just way, way too easy.

Taking it too personally, Ulquiorra stood up just as the door closed shut. He looked around his apartment again, remembering the plan he formulated in his head earlier.

_Using your resources, hmm?_

If he had any doubts of not going through with it earlier – well, Jagar_jak _had this coming a long, long time ago. Ulquiorra stalked into his room, revenge already set to motion.

xoxox

_Clack, clack, and clack._

_Clack!_

The clacking sound stopped abruptly when the owner of the clacking clogs spotted a familiar albino sitting in the middle of the park.

Alone. Well, that wasn't surprising, but the second point slammed onto his face like a runaway train.

It was raining.

_Raining._

Everyone knew that Shiro hated the rain more than being interrupted, and that way saying something. So why was he out there?

The picture made a sorry sight that even Urahara couldn't tear his eyes away, even when said albino was the one who blew his apartment into pieces. Quite frankly, the kid looked like a kicked tiger cub on the sidewalk.

Knowing that he was going to regret this later, Urahara braced himself for more screaming, and walked towards the violent twin with a plastered grin on his face. "Hey, Shirosaki!"

"Uh?" Shiro looked up and backed away, eyes wide. "K-Kisuke? What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm about to ask you why you're out here, all alone, in the rain, even though you made a very loud statement last time about absolutely hating rain."

"I, uh." Shiro looked away, rubbing the side of his face. "I needed to think; I didn't notice."

Urahara raised an eyebrow, eyes going flat.

"You didn't notice."

"Don't make me repeat myself," Shiro replied heatedly with a hint of embarrassment, and Urahara grinned. _That's the Shiro I know._ "I don't think a lot, yeah? And when I do, I just don't notice a lot."

"More like everything." Urahara twirled the umbrella in his arms and leaned it a bit forward to keep Shiro from getting even wetter. "Come on."

"What?"

"Get out of the rain. I'll walk you back to your place."

Shiro looked up at him as if he was crazy, with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly open.

"You don't even like me," slipped out of his lips, and then anybody could see the pink tinge on his cheeks right after, but Urahara decided not to say anything about it. He also decided to analyze the decidedly sad tone the sentence carried_ later_ on. Now, he had a thick-headed albino to save from self-stupidity.

Sure enough, Shiro ducked his head.

"I'll be fine. Go… Do stuff or something; I'll be fine alone."

"Not when you're gonna catch a cold, you're not." Urahara grumbled and grabbed Shiro's arm with that same, surprising strength from long ago, and pulled the albino up. He started to drag Shiro towards the direction of Ichigo's apartment.

Shiro sputtered, but that couldn't be helped. "What are you doing, you idiot!? Let me – _**ACHOO!**_" When he sneezed, his whole body jerked, but it wasn't enough to make Urahara let go.

"Damn it. See; now you're sick," Urahara grumbled again, never relinquishing his grip. "Look, just let me handle this so you just shut up, sit tight, and don't fight back. You're coming with me and that's final."

"I wanna be left alone!" Shiro screamed.

Oh, hell, here comes the Screamer.

Urahara continued on relentlessly, teeth gritted and resolve quickly cementing. He _will _be putting his foot down on this. When Shiro's screams just kicked up louder, his temper snapped.

"Well you don't look like you wanna be left alone, so shut it!"

"Kisuke, let me go!"

"It'll be hell when I will!"

"Why the fuck do you care!?"

"Ichigo's gonna beat my ass if you're sick, you idiot!"

"Well I am sick, so boo hoo for you, eh!? I'm sick of you, I'm sick of the world, I'm sick of everyone and I'm sick of _myself_!" Shiro screamed with a shove, and pushed himself out of Urahara's grip. He stumbled into a wall and he could somehow hear a sickening crack as he hit his head on the hard, hard surface.

Just, wow.

Wow.

Unbelievable. Of all the things…

And funnily enough, he didn't fall unconscious. He _did _feel that unbearable pain throbbing through his head though. And he couldn't move at all.

_It's not fair._

"Shiro? _Shiro! _Shit, what the fuck – unbelievable. What the hell –" A note of hysteria could be heard in Kisuke's laugh. That was one thing that Shiro noted silently as he whimpered pathetically, unable to even clutch his head. "Shiro? Shit, stay with me. It's just a hit on the wall, and you're not bleeding, but I heard that _crack _and shit, Shiro, you're conscious –"

_It's not fair at all._

And suddenly, the man was now carrying him bridal style, jetting towards what should be his apartment with incredible speed.

And Shiro cursed the world for making him be so sappy out of nowhere, and not to mention that he shouldn't be in pain while Kisuke was carrying him to his apartment. This was in one of his fantasies and why the _fuck _did he have to hit his head on a freaking wall!?

Still.

As Kisuke fussed over him, he couldn't help but curl inwardly, eyes going shut as he smiled.

_Can't let you have all the fun, Ichigo._

When he was jostled, he cracked open an eye and mustered up the strength to hit Kisuke on the chest.

"Shiro? You're alright?" the man asked, and Shiro could only stare at the worry Kisuke was definitely showing, well, to him.

He blushed again, but Kisuke – hopefully – didn't catch it.

"You're jostling me. So it hurts like a bitch," he mumbled, suddenly feeling sleepy out of nowhere. "And I sound like a girl with this stupid whispery voice."

"Hey, you hit your head on a wall."

But that didn't mask the relief in his voice.

Shiro tried to scowl to cover up his grin, but that just took way too much energy.

"My humblest, deepest apologies." He tried to shift. Bad idea. He winced when Urahara accidentally jerked him again. "And sorry for killing your ear drums."

_Sorry for the screaming._

"Used to it. Now shut up, sit still and don't fight back," he said, mimicking his words earlier – with a grin, at that – "And let me handle this."

So Shiro learned something really important today.

_I'm in love with a businessman with a wealth to last him at least ten rich lifetimes, the guy probably being ten years older than me, one whose apartment was destroyed by yours truly, __**the **__boss of my twin and the owner of a completely nonexistent fashion sense._

_In love._

_In __**love.**_

_And said guy's carrying me to my apartment._

He grinned, before blacking out.

_Life can't get any sweeter._

_xoxox_

_xoxox_

_End Chapter Eleven_

_xoxox_

_A/N: Well, the last part with Shiro was supposed to be darker and emo-er and I __**can **__do it, but I didn't want to, since it'll be so sad. Poor Shiro. ;w; His happiness will come._

_Mwahaha, not to mention Ulqui's and Ichigo's little plans! It's all coming into plan, I tell you! It's like playing the Sims, only easier and with words._

_Thank you for all the support. In other news, The Espada's Guide to Parenting will be back online soon. Have a nice day, everyone! :D_


	12. Knight In Shining Armor

"And so the princess was saved by the knight who yadda yadda yadda, comes in with his valiant steed and slays the dragon - oh my god, that's so totally animal cruelty, man."

"We should get nature girl to come and defend a _fairy tale._"

"For the last time, you blue-headed creep, her name is Orihime."

"Well _sorry_ for the flowery display I saw last Spring, huh?"

"That was an accident."

"Whatever."

The sun was setting in the distance. Grimmjow threw a can into the dustbin, and wondered if this scene was going to repeat again and again.

Turns out he was right.

"Do you believe in fairy tales?"

"Uh, as much as the next guy, but I'm not totally geeky about them."

"Cool. They're unreal anyway." Ichigo threw the book to the side and looked up. "So anyway, I gotta go back for my family reunion back in Italy. Wanna go?"

"... Why Italy?"

"'Cause my dad's a hopeless cliched geek grown-up man."

"... Ew. What the hell."

"I know. I don't even know how I got to be here."

"'Cause you're studying here -"

"I mean how my dad actually married my mom and had me, dumbass."

"Yeesh, say so in the first place."

...

...

"So he believes in fairy tales?"

"Hm. That book was a present from him to me, yeah."

x

x

_**Bonds,**__ Chapter 12_

Knight In Shining Armor

x

His situation was real simple.

It was the equivalent of a knight in shining armor watching a dragon sleep and waiting for the danger to pass before he could save the princess.

If, only, the knight was a man dressed in a strange green cloak with a bucket hat and an uneven stubble spread across his face. Not exactly your 'shining armor' type.

Neither was the dragon.

Shiro snored loudly before turning heavily on his side, scratching his stomach as he did so. At a far corner of the room, Kisuke was too busy holding pepper spray in front of him and cowering in the face of a homicidal maniac sleeping on his fucking _bed_, sprawled _all over _his sheets that he folded this morning (Yoruichi enforced a very strict rule about cleaning up after himself) and just poised to strike.

Even though he was at least six feet away and well away from the radius of immediate bodily harm should the albino suddenly wake up and inflict a kick to his balls, he wasn't gonna take any chances. With Shiro, you never knew with the guy.

A sudden growl tore through the tension-thick air and Kisuke gripped his spray to the point his knuckles turned white.

Why the fuck was he here?

Why the hell did he feel the need to ask himself dumb questions?

_Shut the fuck up, Kisuke; Shiro's whimpering._

Kisuke rolled his eyes. Great, now he was talking to himself -

_**WAIT.**_

_**SHIROSAKI HICHIGO.**_

_**WHIMPERING.**_

_**Ha, yeah right -**_

"... -upid, dumb, Ichhhhigo," Shiro slurred sleepily, before giving a slight whimper (Kisuke's heart stopped at least three seconds) and rolling over on his other side, reaching out for something.

His hands hit the pillow and he grabbed it immediately. Kisuke watched, interested at the new development.

"D... Don't leave..."

Then Shiro took the pillow and threw it to the other side of the room, hitting the wall two inches away from Kisuke's face. The blond jumped out of his corner and scrambled to the other side, pepper spray flinging out of his grip. He immediately pounced for it, barely restraining from screaming like a little school girl.

Shiro snarled again, and before Kisuke could aim and fire, the albino curled up into himself. "Hate - perverted - bastard, stealing him -" Moments later, he went still.

Kisuke went still too, because it's like the fight in him left when Shiro spoke again, face twisted up into a peculliar expression.

Since when was Shiro ever _sad?_

"... It's not fair..."

As Shiro fell into a deeper sleep, Kisuke was left with the new information and his pepper spray to mull over. That is, before he noticed the spray was aimed at his face during the fumbling. His fingers automatically pressed the wee lil' button on top.

_**PSSHHHH**_

_**"AHHHH! MY EYES!"**_

And well, that was just Kisuke being Kisuke.

Great choice, Shiro.

**x**

**x**

By the time Grimmjow finished zipping up his fly and yawning as he stepped on the granite tiles of his deranged stalker's house, Ulquiorra was already raiding the kitchen for something to eat. He hadn't had his lunch yet.

Grimmjow casually raked a hand through his hair, going inside the kitchen when he called out "Where are you, Urkwee?" and got a grunt in response.

"What are you doing - Holy Mother of _**GOD.**_"

Ulquiorra looked up from the counter where his recipe book lay and cocked an eyebrow. The green eyed man was sitting on a stool, legs spread and idly eating a banana. He popped the fruit out of his mouth after taking out a bite. When Grimmjow kept on staring, he glared.

"Grimmjow, why are you staring?"

"Holy Mother of _**GOD,**_" Grimmjow said again, stuck on eternal replay as his eyes wandered all over those sexy legs which seemed to go for miles. Ulquiorra rolled his eyes irritably, shifting his seat while the fabric of his shorts went with the flow as he crossed his legs. Grimmjow just choked.

"I... What... Why are you wearing nothing but a t-shirt and shorts?" he asked, before realizing how incredibly dumb it sounded, even to him.

"Because I _always _wear a t-shirt and shorts in my own house?" Ulquiorra replied incredulously, then shook his head. "Don't ask moronic questions."

"But you look so fucking sexy in that," Grimmjow whined, approaching. Ulquiorra gritted his teeth, a red blush staining his cheeks.

"Will you cease with those absurd proclamations? Now stay away," he warned, but Grimmjow just grinned. Pervertedly. So Ulquiorra had to refrain from stabbing the man in the gut."Never_**mind.**_ And for your information, I changed so that I wouldn't get my good shirts dirty; I want to bake a cake."

Grimmjow felt his breath stop.

_Oh, god. This is like a living fantasy. Thank you thank you thank you __**thank you**__,_ he shouted mentally to the heavens, and grinned broadly.

"Can I help?"

Ulquiorra blinked.

"You know how to cook?"

"Hell man, getting by college means needing few survival skills. Cooking is one of them that I'm good at."

"You need survival skills?" Ulquiorra repeated dryly, and Grimmjow stared.

"You, my friend, have been living under a fucking dark rock in some bottomless pit buried in an underground abyss somewhere. Have you ever eaten the food in the cafeteria there? It's fucking sentient, I swear!"

Ulquiorra gave him a funny look, and Grimmjow was already poised to shoot down any more retorts, but Ulquiorra shrugged last minute.

"... As long as you stay out of the way."

Grimmjow pumped his hand up in the air mentally, and outside his grin just got wider.

_**YES!**_

...

...

...

_Wait._

"You're eating a cake for lunch?" Grimmjow asked, taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Ulquiorra took in the rest of his banana and swallowed it; Grimmjow's eyes following the movement. So maybe his pants got a little tighter.

At the question, Ulquiorra scowled. "No, I already had my lunch. This is dessert for dinner, later," Ulquiorra explained with a little impatience, zipping to the other side of the kitchen for some of the equipment.

"Cool. I'm staying over."

"What, you were going to leave?" Ulquiorra mock-pouted, ruined by the dry tone. Grimmjow simply grinned.

"Not for the world, baby. Now what cake are you making?"

"Double Helix Surprise," Ulquiorra said, and not long after that he blinked at the sudden silence. "Grimm -?"

"No. Fucking. _**Way,**_" Grimmjow said, gaping. "How the - how the fuck do you know that's my favorite cake?"

Ulquiorra stared at the blue-haired man.

...

...

"I didn't."

"But it is! Dude, it's like I found my soulmate."

At the word soulmate, Ulquiorra scowled. "And if you keep on giving strange, creepy comments like those, I'd have no hesitation to keep the cake away from you."

"Aw, man!"

"One last thing," Ulquiorra added, as an afterthought. He punctured the words with a glare. "Do _**not **_ try any funny business."

"What funny business?" Grimmjow asked innocently, and Ulquiorra snorted.

"Anything involving perverse intentions." Before Grimmjow could protest heavily to that, Ulquiorra pointed at a cupboard _way _up _high __**there.**_ "Now get the giant green bowl up there."

Grimmjow looked up, and even with his great height, he squinted. "Uh, even for someone as tall as I am, I doubt I'll be able to reach _that._"

"... You're hopeless. And we're of the same height."

"Hey!" Grimmjow said, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm not the one who placed it way up there, now, did I? And I'm taller than you."

"By three to four inches; not much difference there now is it? And I don't usually bake," was Ulquiorra's simple explanation, and sighed. "Get me that stool."

"Now you want me to get a stool after banning me from groping your butt," Grimmjow complained, but handed over the stool anyway.

"Deal with it."

Ulquiorra placed the high stool beside the counter and hoisted himself up. A heartbeat later, he almost lost his balance - with his quick super mad reflex skills, Grimmjow immediately held fast on Ulquiorra's hips.

"Jeez, Ulqui, be a bit more careful!" the blue-haired man berated, before letting go immediately because after that Ulquiorra would think this and that and _he wouldn't get the cake._

_Damn you, cake. Making me suffer._

_You must be getting crazy if you're talking to a cake that's not even here yet. Sexually frustrated? You know you want a piece of that ass - Holy Mother of __**GOD.**_

_STFU, inner self. And what are you Holy-ing for - HOLY Mother of __**GOD.**_

Ulquiorra reached up for the bowl and his shirt rode up to _expose._

The shorts slipped off a little bit and from his point of view, Grimmjow was getting a whole eyeful in the form of Ulquiorra's perfectly curved ass with the dimples there on that perfectly smooth skin and those fucking smooth hips and shit, Ulquiorra was arching his back _and he is leaning towards me and__fuck, shit, fuck, my pants are seriously getting tight and am I nosebleeding? FUCK._

Grimmjow threw himself at the sink, opened the tap and washed as if his life depended on it.

_**HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.**_

"Grimmjow?"

Ulquiorra was giving him a funny look. He was already on the ground, bowl in hand. Grimmjow looked at him once, at the water, at the stool, at the bananas sitting idly in the basket at one corner _taunting _him, at the counter begging him to shove Ulquiorra over it and fuck his ass to oblivion, and back at the tap water still running.

"Why are you adding to my water bill?"

...

...

"Igottagobathroomkaythanksbai," Grimmjow said super-fast speed demon style and zipped out of the kitchen, heading for the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and groaned when he tried to cool himself down.

_**Calm down, Grimmy. Think happy thoughts.**_

_Ulquiorra was panting. "P-Please, Grimmjow -"_

_**I SAID HAPPY THOUGHTS.**_

_Ulquiorra's mouth on his -_

_**Happy, NON-perverted thoughts TY. What would Ulquiorra say if you ruined the cake, HUH?**_

_Ulquiorra was over the counter - naked - back facing Grimmjow and his legs spread wide, mouth in a pout with cake batter rubbed into his skin everywhere. "You're so naughty, Grimmjow." He took some of the batter spread across his ass, and licked it off his fingers._

_"Look what you've done to the cake."_

Grimmjow grinded his teeth together, and looked down at his hard-on that was pressing so tightly against the fabric of his pants. It was gonna leave scars, man.

_Look what you've done to my dick._

x

x

Ulquiorra watched as Grimmjow sped away, cocking an eyebrow. After the sound of the door slamming shut, Ulquiorra couldn't help but smirk.

He ran a finger on the waistband of his shorts and hummed as he reached out for the other ingredients.

x

x

_K-tak._

_K-tak._

_K-tak._

_Pshkchinggg - k-tak k-tak tak takkk_takkkk

As the ball hit the other side of the court's fences, Ichigo began to grin triumphantly - before scowling at Aizen's pleasant smile.

"No freaking way. That was _so _an **in,** you freaking old man, don't you dare say it's an -"

"Out. You did say you were out of practice," Aizen said idly, as the game was done for the day. He strode up to the ball where it landed behind him. "Still, you were good. I hadn't had a workout like that in days."

"Stupid -" Ichigo mumbled some things under his breath, then glared peevishly at Aizen when he simply chuckled. "What? Rubbing it into my face? _Old man._"

"No, you resemble Shirosaki in more ways than you think. And I'm aging gracefully, or so I've been told."

"Whatever," Ichigo sulked, and then walked to where his things were, trying to cool himself down. He wouldn't admit it, but Aizen was _damn _good. He probably was in everything else.

_You mean the bed...?_

He rolled his eyes, reaching out for his bottle. Just as he was drinking, Aizen's arms came to rest heavily on his waist. He immediately choked, coughing. "I - what -"

"Sorry," Aizen said with laughter in his voice, and kissed the side of Ichigo's face in one sly, quick move. "But don't sulk, you'll get more wrinkles."

"I wasn't sulking! I was thinking of -" Ichigo cut himself off, and as if Aizen knew what Ichigo wanted to say, he laughed. "Shut up," he said, then sighed. "So where are we going next?"

"_You're _getting cleaned up, while I do the dinner preparations. You must be hungry, hmm?"

Hungry? Ichigo blinked before noticing that he really was. Wow. He blinked again.

"Is my godly presence affecting your sense for survival to eat?"

"Are you really this full of yourself, or are you just trying to compensate?" Ichigo asked before he could stop himself, and coughed, embarassed. "Don't do that."

"But it's amusing."

"Practically everything's amusing to you, isn't it?"

"Not the ones that aren't interesting."

"So I'm just interesting to you, then?"

"Of course. Snared my attention right away. Can't help but try win everything, hmm?"

"Say that to yourself, Mr. I'm-Good-In-Everything-So-Hah."

"How can you be so sure? You haven't seen me in bed."

"That's just you being modest, admit it. And I'm speaking on 'probable' terms."

"If you want to see for yourself, there's a private room for that in the next building."

"What has that got to do with - oh. _**OH.**_" Ichigo groaned before covering his face when he was just too red. "I can't believe I just walked right into that!"

Aizen laughed softly. "I have that effect on people. And call that as payback for your blatant seducing earlier when we were playing," he said, again in an idle tone, so nonchalantly that Ichigo actually gawked at the man, even as they started walking towards the main lobby.

"You - I - what -" Ichigo shook his head a few times, then gaped again when it finally kicked in. "I was _not _trying to - whatever you implied earlier. No. No!"

_It's called 'seducing', and Ichigo, you were._

_WTF, STFU. You, no helping. GO._

"You were running in your little shorts around there, taunting me. Don't you dare tell me that was not seducing."

"Those were the only shorts I have and I was trying to dress properly!" Ichigo protested, voice getting higher and higher as he twitched.

"Oh, I'm sure," Aizen drawled sexily, and Ichigo would've done a number on him if he wasn't so attractive, or not to mention that they were already in the main lobby and everyone was just _staring._ Ichigo coughed, turning away.

Then he peered interestedly when a staff member came to greet them.

"Sir, should we prepare a room for your guest?"

To the best of his knowledge, Ichigo knew that the country club was a part of this giant resort not too far away from Karakura City, close to a beach. So the hotel rooms are right across the main club building. It was a grand place, and the scenery was really awesome - Ichigo generally avoided these places, though maybe he should consider vacationing here some time in the future.

And bring Shiro along. Havoc would do some good for the uptight staff in here. Seriously, what is _up _with the staring?

"No, I'll bring him up to the room myself."

The staff-dude visibly blinked and Ichigo had to wonder _how exactly '_socially exclusive' Aizen was.

"Er... I - very well, sir."

Ichigo watched him go, and start whispering furiously to another girl, who simply blinked. Then she glared at him, which took Ichigo by surprise.

"Um, what? What the hell did I do?" Ichigo asked incredulously, weirded out even when he turned the corner with Aizen.

Man in question hid a devilish smirk before laughing softly.

"Jealous."

Ichigo's response to that died as they went inside a ridiculously expensive-looking, lavishly-decorated hotel lobby, complete with high society ladies and gentlemen alike, dressed up for the occassion. Ichigo looked down on himself, and unconsciously blushed at his attire. He looked up at Aizen, who had a stone-face set dead on; a permanent smile.

Um.

"Right," Ichigo said, obviously uncomfortable, but Aizen just strode in fast and relentlessly Ichigo struggled to keep up. "Ai-Aizen, wait."

What the - what the hell is up with the staring? This is getting _really _creepy! Well, maybe it's because of the clothes and the hair, but their hawkish faces are seriously giving him the urge to smack. His hand was twitching.

They went inside an elevator and Aizen smoothly inserted a key inside the slot. Hmm. Ichigo watched idly as the elevator went up...

And up...

...

...

"Um, Aizen?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we going to the top floor?"

"Naturally."

...

...

"Aizen?"

"Yes?"

"We went past the 30th floor."

"Of course."

...

...

"Aizen?"

"Yes?"

"I'm afraid of heights."

"That's nice."

...

...

The elevator door opened, and Aizen nonchalantly stepped out into a foyer, and not a hallway - two big double doors were in front of both of them, leading towards what was probably a very big, large suite. When Ichigo stepped inside, he immediately backed against the wall, staring at the gigantic window that was covering at least half the wall and two stories high, opposite the door, looking out into the distance.

The place was fucking huge.

He was all the way up here.

"Get settled in. You can use the bathroom inside the master bedroom - it's just to the right here. I'll go call for a reservation. A balcony table would be nice, or maybe even a private dinner here - Ichigo? Why are you pressed against the wall?"

...

...

"Aizen?"

"Mmm?"

"I was being serious when I said that I was afraid of heights." Ichigo pointed calmly at the window. "I can usually take it, but that window is fucking big, and we are 30 stories above from the ground. I can see my own apartment building from here. That is not a good sign. Maybe I'll panic. I have no idea."

Aizen's eyebrows shot up to disappear behind his hairline,"Ah," and he immediately strode towards the orange-haired boy. "Don't think about it. Look at me, Ichigo."

"Looking. At the window. It's big and all... Glassy."

Aizen sighed. "Come on, Ichigo. The room is right upstairs."

"Um. Window. 30 stories. Help?"

"Ichigo, we might need to tackle this fear of yours," Aizen said, formulating a plan in his head. He took out a slim cellphone with one hand while the other guided Ichigo up the stairs and into another set of double doors, stained darker than the earlier one. As the phone rang, he guided Ichigo to sit on the bed, and pushed him down to lay on it.

_"Aizen-sama."_

"Prepare a dinner for two in my room, would you?" Aizen immediately asked.

Ichigo suddenly sat up, glaring.

"... No. You're not getting any ideas."

The brown-haired man smirked.

"A perfect view below would be nice."

Ichigo tackled - or tried to, anyway. Aizen was like the Immovable Object. "Aizen -" And predictably enough, he was cut off with a searing kiss that shook him to the core. "You dumb - mmm. Don't do -"

"Yes, the usual."

"Ai - Aizen," Ichigo moaned, before squawking unelegantly when Aizen set up the details and started neglecting him. "What the - that's it!"

"It's done." Aizen threw the phone to the side and pushed Ichigo on the chest when he tried to protest again. Towering over the younger man, he immediately joined their mouths together. Ichigo moaned softly when Aizen moved from his mouth to his neck, sucking gently and simply going lower.

"You're - that's so unfair..."

"Relax. You won't even notice the sky scene beside us when you're too preoccupied looking at me." He stopped near the collarbone and gave a firm, hard kiss that left Ichigo breathless. He resisted the overwhelming urge to give in into his senses and just go all the way - instead, the man showed some modesty (Modesty. Hah.) and got up with fair ease, looking down at Ichigo.

Who was glaring at him with lidded eyes, hair spread haphazardly and clothes mussed to the point of 'I've just made out with a hot, sexy guy, thanks'.

Aizen smirked.

"I'll take a bath first. Or do you want to join?"

The answer for that was a pillow to the face. Aizen laughed, and Ichigo just grumbled, watching him disappear into another door.

Then he looked up into the ceiling, worrying his bottom lip.

_Who the fuck is he? I would've guessed by now, but I seriously haven't heard of the name Aizen... Still._

_He's such a fucking weirdo, making me like him._

Then he chuckled.

_I sound like Shiro._

x

x

Ichigo was always there.

And then Shiro immediately growled. This dream was supposed to be _his _dream - why the fuck could he see Aizen-perfect-bastard in here!? What the - his dreams aren't supposed to be nightmares. He's not supposed to feel sad in these.

_Stupid, dumb Ichigo._

Then Aizen smiled at him secretively. Soon enough, he could smell something in the air that really wasn't quite right. He furrowed his eyebrows. Smells like -

_Ki_

His eyes widened, and at that moment in-dream Ichigo waved. What the - how the hell - how the fuck do they know about Ki? Real-life Ichigo, now in-dream Ichigo? ARGH! Can't anybody in here keep secrets?

Wait.

Then he turned away.

Shiro whimpered, reaching a hand out to grab something, anything, maybe Ichigo because he was going _away._

"D-don't leave!"

Then his hand closed over something and he threw, snarling.

"Ichigo! ARGH! I hate you! You fucking perverted old man bastard!"

He just going away farther.

"- stealing him away -"

Then he's gone. Shiro just stared, a pain going through him. It was true - everyone had everyone except -

_Me._

"It's not fair..." he said to the dark, and there was nothing but silence. He grumbled. "Yeesh, so much for an epic nightmare -"

_**"AHHHH! MY EYES!"**_

_**"AHHHH!"**_ Shiro screamed, taking everything around a two feet radius and throwing it at the dumbass who was screaming his ass off. What the - _what the __**fuck!?**_ Then he blinked, anger deflating immediately. "Ki? I mean, Kisuke? What the - where the - where the fuck - _oh my GOD._"

No wonder he smelled Ki _everywhere. _

He was in his freaking _room. _(He hasn't been in here before, but the wardrobe full of the same fashion-disaster outfits kinda gave it away.)

_On his freaking bed._

With a bump on his _head._

He immediately closed his eyes and counted to ten.

_I am dreaming. I am dreaming. I am dreaming._

Kisuke groaned, and Shiro cursed.

_I can't believe this! Of all the times I get to be in his bed I HAVE TO BE INJURED._

"What're you trying to do; make me deaf?" Kisuke asked wryly, getting up from his position on the floor with a hand on his face. Shiro got up - maybe a little too quick up from the bed, because his head started spinning - and stared curiosly at Kisuke.

"Why the hell are you covering your face?"

Kisuke swivelled around, before finally pointing on a spot on the floor.

_Pepper Spray_

...

...

...

"You sprayed yourself with pepper spray."

Even as he said it out loud, Shiro found that it still sounded incredibly -

"Don't. Even. Talk about it," Kisuke warned, waving a finger warningly. In the next second, he was trying to stumble onto the bathroom totally blind and with one hand reaching out for any obstaces. Shiro rolled his eyes and went up to the man, noticing that the guy tensed before un-tensing.

The movement made Shiro frown.

"Do you need any help?" he asked quietly, cocking his head to the side.

Kisuke looked surprised. "Er, yeah. That'll be great."

"Okay." Shiro just grabbed Kisuke's arm and kicked the door to the bathroom open ("This is Yoruichi's house, Shiro!").

Behold -

The Holy Sink. With tap water. Kisuke went up to it and immediately set off to washing his stupidness away from his eyes that were still stinging. Shiro just stood in the doorway, keeping quiet. When Kisuke was finally done, he rounded up on the albino and glared.

Shiro jumped, then glared back. "Why the fuck are you glaring at me?"

"Spill. You've been keeping quiet about it but I wanna hear why you're so sad, Shiro," Kisuke said calmly, and immediately Shiro looked panicked.

"I am _not sad,_" Shiro said nervously, trying to laugh it off. "That's bullshit!"

"This, is bullshit. Now spill."

"It's nothing!"

"Shiro."

"Why don't you just wash yourself some more and -"

"Shiro."

"There's really nothing -"

"Shirosaki Hichigo."

"Urahara Kisuke," Shiro babbled, then bawled. "OKAY! OKAY! Why is it so wrong for me to be sad anyway! What the hell is wrong with you people! So I just fell in love and I can't get the guy SO WHAT?!"

Kisuke's eyes widened. He just probably stepped over a line not meant to be stepped on.

"And you're asking and everyone's asking and everybody already _guessed_ and why does it have to be _me,_" Shiro mumbled, suddenly looking _really _sad and shit, maybe Kisuke really shouldn't have asked and he went towards the albino who looked as if he wanted to start crying. "It's not fair that everyone's with everyone and I'm like the most fucking loneliest kid in this fucking sad place and -"

"That's not true," Kisuke said, realizing everything and trying not to smile.

"That's true and you know it. You practically hate me!" Shiro accused, pointing. Kisuke snorted.

"If I hated you, I would've left you to die in the rain, no matter how incredibly unoriginal that is."

"Yeah, that'll be a sad end for me," Shiro mused, and then scowled. "No changing the topic! And you better not tell anyone!"

"Does Ichigo know about this?"

"Yeah, and he's gone off to that pervertic STUPID bastard whose name I shall not mention because he makes me go hiss," Shiro hissed, and then growled. "SEE? Yeesh."

"So was that why you were throwing pillows in your sleep?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

There was a long, awkward pause and Shiro had more fire in his eyes but not much better. What the fuck, man - it wasn't right when Shiro was all morose and shit.

And promptly he told him that.

Shiro glared, but didn't really feel like it. "Whatever," he said moodily, slumping against the wall. "It wouldn't matter 'cause he'll never like me back."

"Just who _is _this guy? Anyone I know?"

Shiro answered too quick and fast. "Absolutely nu-uh."

...

...

...

"Really."

"Want a kick in the balls?"

"No thanks," Kisuke said serenely, moving to shield his precious cargo. The seconds ticked by and Kisuke felt the pain going away more and more, and Shiro getting more and more quiet.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tick.

"You need to fix your clock -"

"Just _who _is this guy? And how did he do it?" Kisuke asked suspiciously, peering into Shiro at a close range that made him flush.

"Drop it. Nothing's gonna happen between us for sure; why are you so worried anyway?"

"Because I'm curious. What the hell did he do?"

"What's it to you?"

Kisuke kept quiet and Shiro sighed.

"Look, he called me cute, that's all." Kisuke gave him a funny look, and Shiro flushed darker. "Nobody's ever done that before!"

"Probably because you're so violent."

"Like I don't know that? Listen, just don't ask anymore, okay? I'm doomed not to get him, so don't remind me about it by talking _about _it."

"I never took you for a pessimistic person, Shiro," Kisuke said disapprovingly, and with that tutting tone Shiro couldn't help but jolt up from his slump.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me. Leave me alone to wallow in my own misery, why don't you?"

"Or maybe you've got to get out of that misery. Now stand up straight and I don't want you looking moody and depressed," Kisuke dictated, and Shiro growled.

_Perfect._

"Then what the hell am I supposed to; seduce the guy?!"

"Well you might as well do it, right?"

"AND I WILL! Fuck you, Ki!" Growling, Shiro stalked over towards the guy and aimed a kick to the balls. Luckily Kisuke dodged before any bodily harm could be done. "BE A MAN!"

"Okay, okay, I get it. I was just trying to get you to stop frowning. At least you're being all violent again, just the way you are," Kisuke said, his serious face breaking off into a laugh at the end.

...

...

...

"Did I just wake up in some alternate stupidity?" Shiro asked calmly, and Kisuke blinked.

"Um, no. And about the guy - why don't I help you out with that?"

"Are you sure? Because this is like some whacked-out - whoah wait a minute **WHAT the FUCK!?**"

"The guy. You know, that you like. I'll hook you too up or something."

Shiro placed an 'X' sign right in front of him. "No. No. Double EN OH NO."

"Come on. Anyway, if you wanna get a guy to like you, you gotta like yourself first. I recall you saying you hate yourself."

"That was in the rain and I was sick and shivering like shit ass!"

And as if some godly intervention happened, Shiro suddenly sneezed.

...

...

...

"Are you sick?"

"I am - ACHOO! - not!"

"You're sick. What the fuck, Shiro, get back to bed. Ichigo's going to fucking kill me."

"I'm really not sick!" Shiro bellowed, grabbing Kisuke's arms and turning him to face the albino in a straight stare.

It took only three seconds for Shiro to sneeze.

"A-HAH."

"Wait! That's not - but I -"

"Get back into bed," Kisuke said sternly, steering the younger man into the soft, nice - wait, he was supposed to get away from the bed. Shiro protested, because mainly he couldn't take it when the man was so _nice _to him and not to mention this was Kisuke's bed and what if he started having wet dreams!?

He blinked.

Then blazed red. "Oh. My. God." He shook his head, then glared furiously. "I want to go back home; I can't stay here."

"All right, I'll take care of you for a little while but I'm not letting you go back unless you let me help you out with the mysterious guy of yours."

Shiro grinded his teeth.

"Why the hell!"

"Why not?"

"Why the hell would you want to see a freak like me getting together with some _dude!_"

"Because I don't like seeing you sad," Kisuke said seriously, and Shiro blinked, hands going still. As soon as the serious expression settled in, though, Kisuke immediately wiped it off. "Get into bed, you albino!"

Shiro blinked, and just got inside the covers.

"I'll get some soup for you, for dinner.

Shiro nodded slowly.

"... Right. I'll be back. And settle down! Yeesh."

Shiro just stared as Kisuke turned and almost hit the wall trying to go out.

When it finally kicked in, Shiro buried his face into the pillow, embarassed.

_Because I don't like_

_Seeing you sad._

"You dumb ass..." he mumbled, trying to keep the smile off his face. That was the nicest thing anyone but his family has ever said to him.

x

x

x

x

x

END. CHAPTER. TWELVE.

x

x

A/N: It's so... Crappy. Oh my god. TT I'm so sorry for letting you down, guys. D: I'm so not suited to this fanfiction business.

I'll edit it later. TT Seriously. so many things... aih... and i'm rushing through a lot. Dx thanks for the support, still, and the anonymous reviews which go WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED, lol. running out of time, here.

uh...

uh...

thanks for reading.

uh...

and it's wholly my fault for not updating. i'm sorry guys. i'm falling back into my old habit of leaving things unfinished. you guys rock. i'll see you later.

have a nice day


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